I've done 2[Business Ethic & OB] out of 5 midterms so far. That's mean 3 more [International Business Law, Malaysian Econ, & Treasure Mgmt], for the next 3 weeks. I realize that I'm improving in dealing with midterms and assignments. This sem I am more focused. There isn't much of emotional disturbance which is good. Hopefully, this kind of environment will continue to surround me throughout my life.

Yesterday night, I was so tired after cracking my brain for 2 test and came back washing my clothes, cook for my dinner and so on so on. After that, I feel like enjoying myself, so I watch Fate/Stay Night 20-end but something inside of me suddenly want to cry out. Maybe the couple in the anime didn't get together at the end, they love each other but they can't be together. It's their fate to meet but it isn't fated to be together. Sad isn't it? Feel touched coz it feels kinda similar to me.

All of the sudden, I feel kinda lonely and the crying person inside of me struggling to come out. She did come out for a while and that moment, I shed a few tears. Soon, I realize... there's nothing to cry about. This is life, everyone has their dream to achieve and so am I. The route that I've chosen required me to let go of things that I've cherished. I might be getting it back in future, but then, nothing is fixed as it might not be coming back to me. The risk that I've to bare for the rest of my life...

I've been emotional mode for quite while. Afraid that It might be get worst if I continued to think and feel about it. Yes, there's nothing wrong with letting go of the feelings, but I think nothing can be done even if I cry. Things that happened are already happened, nothing can be done to changed it. I just want to keep myself in control. Can't rely on other people to cool ourself, sometimes it get worst. I better to depend on myself instead. So, I took a glass of whisky to cool me down.

When it's about 3.30 am, realising it was way past my bedtime, I went to bed, hoping for a better day for next day.