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Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Life getting complicated

My life getting complicated day by day... I should have known that these problem will happen again one day. I keep believing that it will not happen but yet... it happen, for the second time.

It is very sad and dissappointed to say that my second mom have just left. Happened for the 2nd time in my life, being abandon by someone whom you trusted. You know, I'm really tired to keep on believing that 'she' can be a good wife to my dad and good mother to us. After all these years, I've been trying to put my trust on her, trying to treat her like our own mother but at the end, she gave up.

I don't understand what is wrong with them (parent) as I was away from home for a very long time. Nobody in the family told me anything about any problem at all. Even she came all the way to Melaka to visit me, she didn't even mention anything about her and dad's problem.

Staying in the house for more than 1 month now, I felt that there are more problems that I thought. This problem that I've just told, is the worst worst one but don't worry. I'm ok because I experienced it before. This kind of hurt is nothing compare to last time. The person that I feel sad is T herself. She left her child. My sis just 7 years old, its pity to be alone without mother. I tried to be by her side all the time but how long can I be there for her? She's trying to protect her family in Phil but she abandon her own family. It's too unfortunate that dad still love her. I can't do anything to stop him from finding her back. Problem still have to solve since, it is just misunderstanding, I assumed.

Right now, I just have to take care of my sister... I slept with her, playing with her. Ya, it's very tiring and sometimes its irritating coz you know, after long day of working, then have to accompany sis to play. All these require a lot of patience. Sigh... being a babysitter is not easy but thinking how I've been through last time, I give myself strength to take care of her. Moreover, dad non stop talking about her since the day she left. I understand his feeling, I also don't know what to do. I just try to cheer him up, try to lighten up his burden by taking care of the company and my sis.

There's a lot that I wanted to talk... but I'm just too tired to continue and I miss Der very much. He's been supportive and caring but he's busy these days. I don't blame him and I don't want disturb him with my problems. Same goes to my friends... I don't wanna disturb anyone.

I just want my friends to know that I'm having this kind of problem, having headache and heartache and all. That's why sometimes I didn't reply your messages. Not very active in Kbox lately... might be MIA for quite sometimes. Sorry to say that, I might not be coming for the BBQ gathering. Very very very sorry~~~ hopefully in future, we will meet. I promise, I will be back~ hahhaha...

Friday, November 10, 2006
Rihanna's Unfaithful

I've been listening to this song over and over again...
find it very meaningful =p

UNFAITHFUL - RIHANNA

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
cause it seems that wrong
really loves my company

Hes more than a man
and this is more than love
the reason that the sky is blue
the clouds are rolling in
because I'm gone again
and to him I just can't be true

and I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside
to know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer

I feel it in the air
as I'm doing my hair
preparing for another day
A kiss up on my cheek
He's here reluctantly
as if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
where I'm about to go
and we know it very well

cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside
to know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer

our love
His trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore (anymore)

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer (a murderer)

Dedicated to Freddie, Ry, Iv & Der

MiA in Melaka

I just came back from Melaka today... guess what, I just sit for my sup paper. >.<>.< style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 204, 102);">Just pray for me for miracle to happen so that I pass this subject peacefully.

I went down to melaka on Wednesday morning, reach there after 6 hours. Ya... 6 hours! I left the station around 8.30am, the bus suddenly break down and we have to move to another bus. Reach Melaka Central after 6 hours. I went to take my lunch at Ayamas. Ya... I'm eating alone... coz I'm too hungry. So, I just sit there and eat. sigh...

Then, I took taxi went to Bkt Beruang, then walk to Amanda's house ^^ It's very nice to see her after so long. She cut her hair ^^'' which is one I feel very sayang lo~ haha. She doesn't change much. As pretty as always, as cheerful as always and cute as always. ^^

I reached there, studied the whole day and night.

The next day is the day. The paper was pretty easy, but... sigh, (pray pray)

After exam, walked back to Amanda's house under the rain. ^^" After the exam, I just feel a bit relief. Feel wanted to hug someone =p but unfortunately, that someone not here. He's so far2 away. It's ok, life is short, life is not prefect. We cannot demand too much, right? Be happy of what you have... erm...

This trip... makes me think of the past. I feel so foolish that I make things so complicated. I realize that I'm the one who makes things complicated. I guess, I'm the one who are thinking too much and spoil everything that can be prefect.

Sigh... life ar life~

Thursday, November 02, 2006
^^ Bedroom photo session =p



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