Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Misha Omar's Tiada lagi Tangisan
Kini telah lama kita berpisah
Rintihan asmara kian berubah
Tiada lagi mengharap
Tiada lagi belai manjamu
Semua telah berakhir
Ketenangan hidup menyinariku
Keperitan cinta telerai sudah
Tabahkan hati luka nan berduri
Ku mengenali siapakah diriku yang
sebenarnya
Tiada lagi tangisan
Tiada lagi airmata
Membasahi jiwa luka
Yang tinggal hanya memori duka
Semuanya diduga
Pertemuan kali ini
Tak akan berkekalan
Berakhirlah istana bahagia
Biarkan daku hidup keseoragn
Tak perlu lagi cinta yang menghiris luka
Titisan airmata kini kekeringan
Tak perlu menabur kasihmu
Ketenangan hidup menyinariku
Keperitan cinta
telerai sudah
Tabahkan hati luka nan berduriKu
mengenali siapakah diriku yang sebenarnya
ooooh...
Dan kini tertutup jendela harapan
Kau yang menanti ke pangkuan aku
Semua takdir yang telah ku temu
Dan ku bina segalanya tanpa mu
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Sushi Dinner
Last Saturday, went JJ shop for Sushi ingredient. It was Ling Wei's Birthday, well actually it was on Sunday but we make it on Saturday because 2 of us having exam on Monday so... Sunday is fully occupied.
Went there by taxi, cost about RM2 per person. Then, we went lunch at Windmill, ate Nasi Pattaya + Salad + Green Lemon Tea (taste like liquid antibiotic). Then, went buy some groceries, and etc....
Then waited about 1/2 hour for a bus back home, cost about RM0.70? if i'm not mistaken.
So... reached home... feeling very sleepy all day long, coz the other night I didn't have a goodnight sleep. So... erm, sleepy... whole day but didn't take any nap. So, continue with my designing.
the outcome~~~
^_^" *trinite spoiler pulak, 1 enough
Here's more pic~~~~ tells it all... I'm not feeling well to type... >.<
Ling Wei's Birthday cake - Tiramisu~
^^ cut cake, cut cake~!
Study for exam ~_~"
Sigh... that's all la~~~~
Today... its a very bad day for me. So, end here.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Another day...
When I woke up this morning, it was 11am... ok, I missed the morning class again... damn. So went clean up my room plus doing my duty for this week, sweeping and mopping. After all the sweepin & moppin, I continued with my Trinite stuff. Sigh... still haven't done and because of that, I missed so many studies hours. Sigh... I miss my books. I'm so weird~
Then, Lance came over to discuss about mymmu stuff. Haha, he was friendly, and nice to talk to, and also he turn out to be completely different person from who I'm expecting. Its a good thing. haha... anyway, nice to know him. ^^
Then, ... doing Trinite stuff again...
Around 8pm, went to U-Center for Mymmu.net makan meeting. Met all the people that I never seen before but heard before. haha... all nice smart people. Mr.Syukor is a very nice person. Saw Darkfrozenhell, Felming, the other two can't remember their name, and oh, Xpacno is a very outspoken person. There are few more, I can't remember their name. Sigh... I'm so terrible.
Sigh... the whole time, I was keeping quiet, I did very bad... a lot of things I wanted to say but other people have said it. They talked a lot of technical stuff which I have no idea, but then, its ok. I learn from them. Sigh... dunno when I can tahan to be a leader. I have not experience, my communication skill so bad, my mind so slow, no technical skills, & I'm blur. Sigh... I'm a failure.
Really am a failure~
Never mind, I'll learn and practise more and more. I'll try to find way to improve myself. Hopefully, I can find the way.
They discussed a lot of stuff... I'm lazy to post it up. If you wanna know, visit
http://www.mymmu.net =p
You know, I don't know what is love anymore... I really can't feel it in anyway... what is that mean? I just feel pain and hurts everytime thinking to feel to love a person and maybe love is about feelings, but I don't feel anything. Sigh... you guys tell me, what love is...
Recently, I listen to this song...
Vanessa William & Brian Mcknight - Love is
the lyric goes like this...
They say it's a river
That circles the earth
A beam of light shining
To the edge of the universe
It conquers all
It changes everything
They say it's a blessing
They say it's a gift
They say it's a miracle
And I believe that it is
It conquers all
But it's a mystery
Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And it fades away so easily
In this world we've created
In this place that we live
From the blink of an eye, babe
The darkness sets in
Love lights the world
And lights the lovers for eternity
Love breaks the chains
Love aches for everyone of us
Love takes the tears and pain
And it turns it into the beauty that remains
Look at this place
It was paradise, but now it's dying
I'll pray for love
I'll take my chances that it's not too late
Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And it fades away so easily, oh...
Love breaks the chains
Love aches for everyone of us
Love takes the tears and the pain
And it turns it into the beauty that remains
Mmm...mmm...mmm... So, Love can give you happiness and it give you pain, but still I don't know what is love means?
Friday, March 24, 2006
What I did today...
Yesterday I'm not feeling well, know why? coz someone feed me chocolate cake, and I'm so greedy went to eat it without considering that my body resistance to caffeine. ~_~ so habis lo, yesterday. In the house only, can't even go out coz I feel dizzy and plus the weather was~~~ so damn hot. Arg... so at home, doing my designing again. Thought I was going to complete it yesterday night but unfortunately, my house current had been shut off because of thunder. So, went to sleep~~~~~ this time I sleep so damn nice. *maybe its the "calming" lotion I'm using. So, I sleep about 10 hours. Yet feel so weak, maybe because *erm *erm :p
So today, I'm trying to finish my Trinite stuff. My body still feel weak tho, having headache, bodyache, and my feet~~~~ sigh. Yesterday I accidently cut my feet till blood. >.<
Just 5 minutes walk to MMU, and there will be a food court and makan shops opened.It is a Fully Furnished unit with 21" TV, Water Heater,Washing Machine,Fridge,Dining Table,Sofa set,Stove,Curtains Provided ( New )cost RM 600,Lightings ( New ) RM 1500 and new beds, bathroom set with mirror,study table and computer tables.It has a very good FENG-SHUI....It has a high security door lock and the area is monitored by CCTV. The owner also provide Fixed Line telephone and thearea has Gym, Swimming Pool and a Mini library and its all for FREE..u can see the Mini Condo by calling me at 012-5641715 (Ramesh @Terrance Ng)THE RENTAL IS ONLY RM 190* per person ( For twin sharing )* the faster the better..only have time till 25 OF MARCH 2006.So, I called to make an appointment to see the room. So... we went there around 5.30pm.
What a beautiful Landscape! First, I like the colors of the building. I like the swimming pool and all.
Went to the room, the
location is the best, but too bad, the
room is too small for two of us. The
view is awesome. The furniture are new, its cooling, its just feel so luxury if you live there. Lay Fen and I think that its kinda far for us, walkers but then, its
5 to 10 min walk. Sigh~~ I feel like wanna move next sem, its a lot easier to find rooms or houses now coz lots of students are graduating this year but then, Ryan don't let me move and I don't know what will happen to him when I move out, and another thing is... economy now not stable, if I move to another place like University Green, I don't whether I'll burden my dad. Sigh, since I need him to finance me for 1 more year. Sigh...
Anyway, I'm still busy with
Trinite stuff, There are 1 2 3 4 stuff to do and I've finished 2 stuff, so
50% complete. I've done
Mymmu T-Shirt. Em, still need to edit that one coz not all people will like the same thing, right. So... its
95% complete. E commerce
0% complete T_T
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Just want to say something
Feel so stress, It's been a long time since I have this stressful period. There's a lot of things in my head and I can't sleep this few days.
I'm still thinking how to make myself to speak up. Sigh... I still can't break my own weaknesses. Whatever I say doesn't reflect what I think and it always end up misunderstand by people. Usually, I can keep to myself 24 hours without talking. I'm too used to it. Now, I'm having problem communicating with people. My mind is not working.
Its like what I experienced during last week toastmaster. I was given a topic, "Pig Farms should be cease for environmental reason". During that time, I talked, but then, my points are not properly arranged, and I only given two points. Luckily I finish on time but I was nervous, my sentences is too messy or should I say, not fluent. After I made my conclusion, then all my ideas, my points, my sentence all in my mind, but I just could say it out.
What should I do? How to improve? sigh...
I'm not feeling well today, partly because I couldn't last two nights. Partly, because of the weather, its hot and suddenly went cold. The wound under my feet still haven't recover, feel pain everytime I walk. Don't know whether I can make it to Trinite.
T's birthday coming soon, can't go back home, coz of assignments due. Sigh... miss my home, miss my family, and miss my friend.
The other day, Yvonne called me. I was surprised that she called coz we never contact for about 1/2 years already. Miss her so much, she's my best friend during secondary school. She's happily married and with a baby boy. I'm happy for her. I dont 'know what to say, I just miss her so much.
These few days, me and Ryan still talking and laughing. Sometimes I feel that, its a waste to let go a relationship that we have build for so long. Maybe I'll give him another chance, but will I get hurt again? sigh... that is something I should build-in myself. I'm talking about trust and confident. I need more time to seek and build. Sigh... don't know what i'm talking...
haha... I think I should start doing my things now. There's still a lot of unfinish business. So, to be continued....
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Busy Week
Things to do...
March20,MON
1. Register company brand for BMK3074
2. Collect my Diary
3. Meet Ashwin for BEL assignment to clarify something
4. Meet Azlina for BRM assignment for updates
5. Meet Vimala for BSM assignment to ask for next meeting
6. Meet Ms.Lim Consultation
7. Class from 8-12pm, library 1-3 [Study BEL], Class 3-6
8. Do BBL tutorial
9. Do BEL tutorial
10. Planning & Organizing Trinite Programme Book
March 21,TUES
1. Class 12-1, Library 1-2, Class 2-5
2. BSM assignment - Read Sun Tzu Art of War
3. BRM assignment
4. BEL assignment
5. Trinite Programme Book - Page & Layout design
6. Trinite Participant Programme Book
7. Trinite Backstage Tag
March 22,WEDS
1. Class 10-2, Library 2-5, Class 5-6
2. Consult BBL lecturer on assignment
3. BSM assignment
4. BEL assignment
5. BRM assignment
6. Trinite Programme Book - Compilation
7. Trinite Participant Programme Book - Compilation
8. Study BEL
March 23,THURS
1. Class 12-1,
2. MyMMU Tshirt Design
3. BSM assignment
4. BEL assignment
5. BRM assignment
6. BBL assignment
7. Study BEL, Study BBL
March 24, FRI
1. Class 8-10,
2. BSM assignment
3. BEL assignment
4. BRM assignment
5. BBL assignment
6. Study BEL, Study BMK
7. MyMMU Management Team 2nd Meeting
March 25, SAT
1. Study BEL, STUDY BMK, STUDY BBL
2. BSM assignment
3. BEL assignment
4. BRM assignment
5. BBL assignment
6. Jusco - Shopping
7. Help make Sushi Dinner
8. Ling Wei's Birthday Dinner
March 26, SUN
1. STUDY BEL
March 27, MON
1. BEL exam
Wish me good luck ^^
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Le Roi Soleil's Tant Qu'on Reve Encore
Like this song, but don't know what language is that. Spanish? Russia? or France? Any Idea??
LE ROI SOLEIL - TANT QU'ON REVE ENCORE
THE SUN KING - AS LONG AS ONE STILL DREAMIl était une fois
c'est comme ça qu'une histoire commence.
On a tous en mémoire
un reste au fond de soit, d'enfance.
On part pour la vie
sans la choisir vraiment
Tant qu'on rêve encore
que nos yeux s'étonnent encore
rien n'est perdu.
Tant qu'on rêve encore
que jamais personne s'endorme ne rêve plus.
Jamais plus
On va de l'avant
dans la cours des plus grands,
faire face.
Sans défier les géants
trouver au premier rang, une place.
On remplit sa vie
parce qu'on oublie qu'elle passe
Tant qu'on rêve encore
Que nos yeux s'étonnent encore rien est perdu.
Tant qu'on rêve encore
Que jamais personne s'endorme et ne rêve plus.
Jamais plus.
Il était une fois
tout commence comme ça.
On prend son histoire
la vie comme elle va
avec ses erreurs
ses manques et ses lois
Pour croire le bonheur
souvent loin de soit
Alors qu'elle bat
qu'il est toujours là, en soit.
Tant qu'on rêve encore
que nos yeux s'étonnent encore rien est perdu.
Tant qu'on rêve encore
que jamais personne s'endorme et ne rêve plus.
{x2}
Jamais plus
He was once
it is as that which a history begins.
There are all in memory
a remainder at the bottom of is, of childhood.
One leaves for the life
without really choosing it
As long as one still dreams
that our eyes are still astonished
nothing is lost.
As long as one still dreams
that never nobody falls asleep does not dream any more.
Never more
One goes from the front one
in the course of largest,
to face.
Without defying the giants
to find in the forefront, a place.
His life is filled
because it is forgotten that it passes
As long as one still dreams
That our eyes are still astonished anything is lost.
As long as one still dreams
That never nobody falls asleep and does not dream any more.
Never more.
It was once
all starts like that.
His history is taken
life as it goes
with its errors
its lacks and its laws
To believe happiness
often far from is
Whereas it beats
that it is always there, is.
As long as one still dreams
that our eyes are still astonished anything is lost.
As long as one still dreams
that never nobody falls asleep and does not dream any more.
{x2}
Never more
Monday, March 13, 2006
Sarah Brightman's Winter In July
Look around wounder why
We can live a life that's never satisfied
Lonely hearts troubled minds
Loking for a way that we can never find
Many roads are ahead of us
With choices to be made
But life's just one of the games we play
There is no special way
Make the best of what's given you
Everything will come in time
Why deny yourself
Don't just let life pass you by
Like winter in July
Future dreams can never last
When you find yourself still living in the past
Keep moving on to higher ground
Looking for the way you thought could not be found
We may not know the reason why
We're born into this world
Where a man only lives to die
His story left untold
Make the best of what's given you
Everything will come in time
Why deny yourself
Don't just let life pass you by
Like winter in July
And we may not know the reason why
We're born into this world
Where a man only live to die
And his story left untold
So make the best of what's given you
Everything will come in time
Why deny yourself
Don't just let life pass you by
Like winter in July
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Recent Pic
Been very busy recently, I have two report to past up this week, plus 1 presentation. ~_~ Really busy busy busy~~~~
Anyway, busy as it is, I still have time to take a snap myself... hahahaah
How do I look? kekeke
These few day weather is so hot... I bath at least 3 times a day. ~_~ Sigh Malaysia Weather ne~
Sigh... nothing to talk about... what's on my mind now is ICE. What I need now is Ice Ice Ice~! I'm melting soon ne~ afterall, I'm still snowgirl, can't survive during summer... hahaha.
Oklah~~~ that's all for today's crapz.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Wallpaper
Want to avoid from being a sleeping pig. So, I did another wallpaper. hahaha... so this is how my desktop looks like.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Still alive
God, I'm so damn tired... and I'm crapping again coz I'm too lazy to find sources to update my blog... haha
I've decided to
stay here for one more semester. The reason is because
1. Too many furnitures to shift
2. No other suitable place to stay
3. I can't shift alone
And another thing,
Someone already rent the other rooms. So finding housemates is not a problem anymore.
Then...
Ryan has been quite himself but still kinda attached to me, but that's ok. We give both of us time. Just let the time decide what will happen in future.
On the other hand, I've been
very stupid to let myself fall into the hole eventhough I've already know that there is a hole and it will be very damn hurt when if I really fall into it but what can I do? I fell, and its really hurt and painful.
If
somebody's heart is not mine, it will never be mine no matter how much I want them to be mine or even if I owned their bodies, their souls and hearts won't be mine.
Giving Ryan
a second chance is definitely out of question for the moment. I dropped in a really big deep hole and I'm trying to save myself out of it. I need to see the world, the reality which are full of options and choices of life that can be made. I'm trying to make a different and adjust my life according to what I wish for. Initially, I try to walk the path that what other people choose, but I dont' want that to happen to me again. I dont' want to walk in anyone shadow. I
wish for my own path by deciding my own destiny.
It might
not be fair for Ryan, coz its never been fair to him either. I am the one to blame for all the things that happen. I'm being too blur, too naive, too emotional, too fool for not able to express whatever I want to say. That's why, I need time to clear things out whatever that happen between me and Ryan.
I
cried last night, can't sleep till 6am. I've been listening to Miguel Vera Nais Ko, and Ariel Rivera Narito Ako till I sleep. The song is so sad and it suit my emotion at that time. I was so down yesterday...
Yesterday presentation was Ok for me, I'm
the worst presenter in my group but at least I can talk, it just a bit nervous, maybe because its been a long time I did my last public speaking. Sigh... I feel so down because everyone is better than me. No matter physically or mentally, everyone at my age now is better than me. Damn... its really painful to know the fact when you are trying so hard to improve yourself and its not even hit the bottom line.
I felt so down yesterday, and yet I heard another thingS that hurt me so so so damn much and it makes me feel even worst.
There's lots of girls out there are a lot better than me, physically and mentally. It's so
normal for a girl to be chase by 5 or 6 or even 14 guys while me? no matter how near I am, people won't even look at me. Why? I wish to know why... one thing for sure, I'm not attractive, and what else? tell me? I'm under 16? ~__~ For god sake, I'm older than my look, ok? sigh... I should be happy coz know why? when people get old, I won't look old. =p
on the other hand, I feel
one product packaging must be attractive as well, if not, no people will want to buy if packaging look like shit, right?
Sigh... human nature.
Another thing that make me confuse, I dont' know whether to feel bad about it or feel good about it.
Somebody say I'm a princess in my family. I feel bad, coz I'm no longer family's princess. There nobody will satisfy all my needs and nobody will listen to me and take care of me like I used to, but then, I feel better coz I realized I grew up. Growing up its not a nice thing to play actually. Like what older people always wish, they wish they never grow up when they are grown up.
Sigh... all these things made mine self esteem even lower eventhough its already low, but then, I'll bring myself up again. I didn't blame the person who told me all these but I thanked him for telling me and I apologize about coldness towards him and Ryan.
It was all just emotions that taking me over. Anyway...
I'm still alive.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
What a dream
There was a girl went to a spooky school where lot of chinese doing this ritual thing to chase away ghost. So, there was this girl who was asked to go to a place ... which she don't know where and what kind of place is that and she went in. There's was this ugly guy who suddenly appear scare out of her and she ran... running and running,...then suddenly she saw one guy.
That guy is hers love one, because I can feel that from her eyes, she looked relief and happy to see that guy. So. this guy brought her to a train and in the train, there was his family, also doing this ritual thing but it is somewhat different from the ritual that she seen just now and this girl doesn't know what the hell is she doing and she don't have any idea of what happened in the train... so she did whatever she was asked to do. Then suddenly, there was blood sprayed on her face and what shocking is there was a girl came out, out of nowhere, and appear in front of her.
...then suddenly this girl sat beside the guy... and they was a chemistry related activities happen between them la. then... the guy n the girl were holding hands... then suddenly the guy's relative came into the train... saw both of them holding hand then ask the guy whether the girl is his gf.. and the guy say no, he then said that, he was engaged to get marry.
The girl, suddenly said, she need to go... then she was crying and she went to the door and jump down while the train is stil moving
she suicided...
The End I woke up...
Friday, March 03, 2006
Quick update
Trinite Roadshow this week, went well~~
there was a Free Hairdo for all, me and Amanda went to do hairdo, just for fun. haha we paid Rm15 to do makeup plus phototaking.
How do I look? Sigh... look so... terrible. eh? @_@
There isn't much time for me to blog coz its 1.35am now and I have 8am class, so...
after this, won't be able to online for two days. You know why? coz I'm going back home~! hahhah....
You might say, chiu~ go back 2 days nia ma~~ but u knw or not, I can imagine that when I reach home, I will feel 100000x lighter, and able to fly coz i'm free and safely back home to meet my dearest sister, my naughty brother, my cute aunty, my hero daddy, my chatter Lani, my companion Lizzie, and my soft soft and large bed~!
I need some break from all the problems that I'm facing now. Sigh... Wanna runaway~~~ but cannot la... couldn't be so irresponsibility ma, right?
Want to meet Wase, feel he got problems, his family called me to ask about him. So I really want to meet him to make sure he's alright. He still my friend afterall, right. Nothing gonna happen, and hey Zen, if you read this. DON'T THINK TOO MUCH~! DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH, & HE WON'T BULLY ME. OK?
Sigh... Zen sometimes thinking too much. There are so many things that I didn't think, he thought I think. Sigh... relax~~~~~~
Oklah... now 1.53am, gtg sleep now.
To be Continued
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