Just want to say something
Feel so stress, It's been a long time since I have this stressful period. There's a lot of things in my head and I can't sleep this few days.
I'm still thinking how to make myself to speak up. Sigh... I still can't break my own weaknesses. Whatever I say doesn't reflect what I think and it always end up misunderstand by people. Usually, I can keep to myself 24 hours without talking. I'm too used to it. Now, I'm having problem communicating with people. My mind is not working.
Its like what I experienced during last week toastmaster. I was given a topic, "Pig Farms should be cease for environmental reason". During that time, I talked, but then, my points are not properly arranged, and I only given two points. Luckily I finish on time but I was nervous, my sentences is too messy or should I say, not fluent. After I made my conclusion, then all my ideas, my points, my sentence all in my mind, but I just could say it out.
What should I do? How to improve? sigh...
I'm not feeling well today, partly because I couldn't last two nights. Partly, because of the weather, its hot and suddenly went cold. The wound under my feet still haven't recover, feel pain everytime I walk. Don't know whether I can make it to Trinite.
T's birthday coming soon, can't go back home, coz of assignments due. Sigh... miss my home, miss my family, and miss my friend.
The other day, Yvonne called me. I was surprised that she called coz we never contact for about 1/2 years already. Miss her so much, she's my best friend during secondary school. She's happily married and with a baby boy. I'm happy for her. I dont 'know what to say, I just miss her so much.
These few days, me and Ryan still talking and laughing. Sometimes I feel that, its a waste to let go a relationship that we have build for so long. Maybe I'll give him another chance, but will I get hurt again? sigh... that is something I should build-in myself. I'm talking about trust and confident. I need more time to seek and build. Sigh... don't know what i'm talking...
haha... I think I should start doing my things now. There's still a lot of unfinish business. So, to be continued....
