Life getting complicated
My life getting complicated day by day... I should have known that these problem will happen again one day. I keep believing that it will not happen but yet... it happen, for the second time.
It is very sad and dissappointed to say that my second mom have just left. Happened for the 2nd time in my life, being abandon by someone whom you trusted. You know, I'm really tired to keep on believing that 'she' can be a good wife to my dad and good mother to us. After all these years, I've been trying to put my trust on her, trying to treat her like our own mother but at the end, she gave up.
I don't understand what is wrong with them (parent) as I was away from home for a very long time. Nobody in the family told me anything about any problem at all. Even she came all the way to Melaka to visit me, she didn't even mention anything about her and dad's problem.
Staying in the house for more than 1 month now, I felt that there are more problems that I thought. This problem that I've just told, is the worst worst one but don't worry. I'm ok because I experienced it before. This kind of hurt is nothing compare to last time. The person that I feel sad is T herself. She left her child. My sis just 7 years old, its pity to be alone without mother. I tried to be by her side all the time but how long can I be there for her? She's trying to protect her family in Phil but she abandon her own family. It's too unfortunate that dad still love her. I can't do anything to stop him from finding her back. Problem still have to solve since, it is just misunderstanding, I assumed.
Right now, I just have to take care of my sister... I slept with her, playing with her. Ya, it's very tiring and sometimes its irritating coz you know, after long day of working, then have to accompany sis to play. All these require a lot of patience. Sigh... being a babysitter is not easy but thinking how I've been through last time, I give myself strength to take care of her. Moreover, dad non stop talking about her since the day she left. I understand his feeling, I also don't know what to do. I just try to cheer him up, try to lighten up his burden by taking care of the company and my sis.
There's a lot that I wanted to talk... but I'm just too tired to continue and I miss Der very much. He's been supportive and caring but he's busy these days. I don't blame him and I don't want disturb him with my problems. Same goes to my friends... I don't wanna disturb anyone.
I just want my friends to know that I'm having this kind of problem, having headache and heartache and all. That's why sometimes I didn't reply your messages. Not very active in Kbox lately... might be MIA for quite sometimes. Sorry to say that, I might not be coming for the BBQ gathering. Very very very sorry~~~ hopefully in future, we will meet. I promise, I will be back~ hahhaha...
Rihanna's Unfaithful
I've been listening to this song over and over again...
find it very meaningful =p
UNFAITHFUL - RIHANNAStory of my lifeSearching for the rightBut it keeps avoiding meSorrow in my soulcause it seems that wrongreally loves my companyHes more than a manand this is more than lovethe reason that the sky is bluethe clouds are rolling inbecause I'm gone againand to him I just can't be trueand I know that he knows I'm unfaithfuland it kills him insideto know that I am happy with some other guyI can see him dyingI don't wanna do this anymoreI don't wanna be the reason whyEverytime I walk out the doorI see him die a little more insideI don't wanna hurt him anymoreI don't wanna take away his lifeI don't wanna be...a murdererI feel it in the airas I'm doing my hairpreparing for another dayA kiss up on my cheekHe's here reluctantlyas if I'm gonna be out lateI say I won't be longJust hanging with the girlsA lie I didn't have to tellBecause we both knowwhere I'm about to goand we know it very wellcause I know that he knows I'm unfaithfuland it kills him insideto know that I am happy with some other guyI can see him dyingI don't wanna do this anymoreI don't wanna be the reason whyEverytime I walk out the doorI see him die a little more insideI don't wanna hurt him anymoreI don't wanna take away his lifeI don't wanna be...a murdererour loveHis trustI might as well take a gun and put it to his headGet it over withI don't wanna do thisAnymore (anymore)I don't wanna do this anymoreI don't wanna be the reason whyEverytime I walk out the doorI see him die a little more insideI don't wanna hurt him anymoreI don't wanna take away his lifeI don't wanna be...a murderer (a murderer)
Dedicated to Freddie, Ry, Iv & Der
MiA in Melaka
I just came
back from Melaka today... guess what, I just sit for my
sup paper. >.<>.< style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 204, 102);">Just pray for me for miracle to happen so that I pass this subject peacefully.
I went down to melaka on Wednesday morning, reach there after 6 hours. Ya... 6 hours! I left the station around 8.30am, the bus suddenly break down and we have to move to another bus.
Reach Melaka Central after 6 hours. I went to take
my lunch at Ayamas. Ya... I'm
eating alone... coz I'm too hungry. So, I just sit there and eat. sigh...
Then, I took
taxi went to Bkt Beruang, then walk to
Amanda's house ^^ It's very nice to see her after so long. She cut her hair ^^'' which is one I feel very sayang lo~ haha. She doesn't change much.
As pretty as always, as cheerful as always and cute as always. ^^I reached there,
studied the whole day and night.The next day is the day. The
paper was pretty easy, but... sigh, (pray pray)
After exam, walked back to
Amanda's house under the rain. ^^" After the exam, I just feel a bit relief. Feel wanted to hug someone =p but unfortunately, that someone not here. He's so far2 away. It's ok,
life is short, life is not prefect. We cannot demand too much, right? Be happy of what you have... erm...
This trip... makes me think of the past. I feel so foolish that I make things so complicated. I realize that I'm the one who makes things complicated. I guess, I'm the one who are thinking too much and spoil everything that can be prefect.Sigh... life ar life~