Snow * Dropz

Trinite 2007

2007-04-14T00:14:00.000+08:00

Pre-Nite

Trinite 2007 is the last promnite for me. This is the first time I ever spend so much money for an event.

* RM160 for hair dye & Highlight
* RM160 for hand & Leg Waxing
* RM75 for facial
* RM44.50 for sandals
* RM89 for ticket
* RM90 for accessories
* RM50 for hairdos & make up

TOTAL : RM668.50 overbudged RM29

Well, it's ok lo~ I like my hair, like the waxing, eventhough I get some rashes after wax and have to spend another RM60 for the ultra-calm ampule. Like the sandals too, it's the first time i bought a extremely red sandals.

I overspent my money in accessories. I can't help it, there so many beautiful accessories... so I end up buying one and another.

Well, me entire attire for that night not really complete tho. I forgotten the most important things which is the dress!!!!. I end up using the old dress which Ryan bought me. I never use that dress before, so I decided to wear that. Seriously, I don't like the way I look during that night. hahah... but what to do, tight budget. Sigh...

The Night

The night was beautiful, all the decorations, the ice sculpture... the lighting. It was nice. If want to compare, I would still say Trinite 2006 nicer :P (No offence ar). The girls and guys who are coming to this year promnite looks fabulous! Everyone looks so beautiful and elegant. Too bad I dont' have my own camera. My hp camera malfunction at the moment which is something that I very 'pek chek'ing'' even till now. Anyway, Every girls looks sexy and beautiful. I can hardly recognize some of them coz they looks so different in make up and dresses. Guys too... look so smart and handsome with coat. Love the scene ^^

The MCs was beautiful and handsome. Marion looked sexy with her golden dress. While, Joey G is cute. ^^

The performance was great. I like Vince, he's handsome, he's voice is great. I like his voices. I don't know how to describe it but it was nice. ^_^" He sang You're beautiful originally sung by James Blunt, and Breaking Free, soundtrack from High School Musical.

Dayang Nurfaizah was fabulous that night. I always a fan of her. I like her husky powerful voice. Love it very much. She sang If I ain't got you by Alicia Keys. During her performance, I was dragged to take pictures. T___T

Next performance was K-Town Clan. Well, they performance 3 songs... and I only heard one song before. ^_^" It was awkward situation, coz most of the audience never heard to song before. ^_^"

Nominations for the prom queen and king kinda a weird too. I think it was kinda out system. ^_^" I never heard any news regarding the nominations, and what's weird is they nominated as couple instead of individual. I understand that every year, they tried to come up a nomination system for prom king and queen. I still think, it is not the solution yet.

The food was unexpectedly delicious except the mushroom soup. >.< It's Chinese cuisine style buffet. It was delicious coz all of it is my favourite foods. LOL. I should have stuff my whole body with it. :p Like the dessert as well, even the butter cakes taste nice. Love it~!

So the night end with dancing session. I knew I won't be dancing and nobody will ask me to dance. Hahaha... we went took some pictures and went home.

After-Night

Too bad ne~ suddenly I feel that it wasn't a typical prom nite event that I expect it to be. You know... like those in the movies. :p

Anyway... for me, the whole thing was just fine for me. Things went through below my expectation and something happened at the middle of the event. Somethings that is not good I can say. Made me puzzled the whole event and couldn't enjoy the night. I received smses that can cause a volcano to explode. I got scolded for nothing and went home crying till my eyes swollen... silly me.

Announcement

2007-04-02T18:21:00.000+08:00

Launching my new bloggy at Friendster~!
Won't be update this blog so often... hahahha... :p

Thanks for visiting this blog for so long and listening to my whining all the time.
Continue listening at my friendster blog la~ :p

Ja~ see at you there... :p

http://www.friendster.com/susanylc

Not so lucky day...

2007-03-16T17:36:00.000+08:00

I was planning to go back hometown today, but you know what... I spent RM12 for taxi just to find out that all bus to Klang already full. One of the reason I think is 1 or 2 counter has been close and I dont' know why but damn. It was my unlucky day.

I spend 1/2 hour in Ayamas alone... taking my lunch while thinking where should I go now. I was thinking to go MP alone... hunting for my prom dress and sandals but... I don't have the nerve to go there without clearly recognize the right bus to go there and to come back. Last last... I decided to take bus back to Bukit Beruang.

Not only I have to take bus back, I have to bare the anger that my umbrella was causing trouble and make me soaking wet for 15 mins under this sudden heavy rain weather situation.

Sigh... miss my hometown and bahkuteh T_______T

Preparation for Trinite 2007

2007-03-13T20:14:00.000+08:00

MMU official PromNite of the year is finally here. It will held in Hotel Equotorial on the 31st March 2007. It will be my last prom before I graduate. Lot of my friends are hyped about this. Most of them already have their dresses, booking for makeup and hairdo. Yet... I still haven't found my dress. ^_^"

On that day, Vince from AF coming for performance. Dayang Nurfaizah, Marion, Joey G and K-town Clan are coming too. I'm not quite a fan of them though, it always nice to have celebrity around. The more the merrier, right? :p

Well, it cost me Rm89 for the ticket alone. Luckily I got sponsors... ahaha :p if not, I don't think I can go there with few hundreds bucks in my bank account.

This friday I'm going back to Klang to shop for my dress and guess what. My mom will accompany me. ^^ Hopefully I can get a dress there as I can't find any in Melaka. All my friends already have their dresses and they start to shop for shoes and accessories. I'm yet to start mine. Well, no rush right? ^_^"

Hopefully I get better today as my body still aching coz I'm going to have my hair dye tomorrow.

Went for Audition

2007-03-13T19:43:00.000+08:00

It took me 1 month and 1/2 to decide whether to join the competition. I'm talking about The Stage singing competition organized by MMU's English language Society. It will held on the 29th March 2007 and the audition will took place on the last day of February.

I have always wanted to try my luck in singing as I like to sing and it is not that I'm very good but I wish to feel the feelings of singing on stage. Plus, I'm kinda attracted to the prize. Hahaha... if I win that prize I don't have to ask my dad for money as he is financial tight himself. Besides, I take this opportunity to challenge myself. Thus... I decided to join the competition.

My friends supported me, though I'm not a very good singer but it never hurt to try. My Dear supported me, he always told me 'not to be nervous, try your best, drink a lot of water, and gambate'. ^^ That's already enough to motivate me. My kaiko also supported me. At first, he was very surprise when I told him that i'm going to audition coz it never appear to his mind that my voice would be different when I sing and when I talk. It's really funny to see his reaction. LoL. He's very supportive, even teach me what to do when I get nervous. LoL. I'm not only grateful to have such a great big brother. My other friends are supportive as well. They know last minute though coz I never tell them. :p

During that day of audition, I saw many contestant who work hard to get through as I see most of them rehearse very hard. They all are very good. If I compared, I will surely lose. ^_^" However, I tried to pull myself together. I believe that if I tried my best, I'll never regret later even if I failed. I already took the first step that not all people are willing to take. I believe I should be feel proud of myself and do the best I can.

I was the 40th contestant for the audition that day. I sang 'I have Nothing' by Whitney Houston. It's a bit too big song for me, I know. I chose this song coz this song forever touches my heart and plus, it is the only minus one that I can sing. >.< Well, I did Ok that day. I was nervous, my voice was shaking but I manage to reach the high pitch but then, it still not enough to get me through. ^_^"

Well... it is ok. Though I'm a bit dissappointed but after a while, I feel proud of myself because I took the challenge, went through it, though I failed, but I've gained the experience. ^^

Chinese New Year

2007-03-13T19:04:00.000+08:00

You know, I really don't know what to say about this year Chinese New Year. I usually have the best meal of my life during the eve of Chinese New Year, together with my family. We will have shark fins soup, Abalone, Yu Sang and the Mangkuang dish (I don't know what you call that) every year at that special day. This year... not only we are imcomplete... my stepmom not here... the food is not as good as usual. Dad bought a cheaper Abalone, shark fin and there's not Mangkuang dish. Plus, the Yu Sang taste funny and I dont know why. Moreover, the situation when we sit together was awkward and I still dont' know why.

I feel terrible, maybe because of my stepmom, dad was financially tight and he is spiritually weak. He constantly miss her and he has to take care of my sister and plus my brother care more about his friend than his family and me being so far away. I'm not only feel bad coz I have to be away for study but I feel dissappointed because everytime I came back, my dad will complaint about my brother who constantly needed to be push to do something. Not only we have to push but we have to bare his anger and attitude.

You know, it is difficult to be strong when you keep falling apart. I feel sorry for myself for not able to be strong enough. I'm far away, and I have my problems too, living quite a deserted place with housemates that you are not familiar with and shops that are so far away are quite difficult. I have to depend on my friend who live opposite because they have car but the thing is, things have change. I'm not so close to them anymore, it is very difficult to ask for favor so many times but I realize I couldn't do everything by my own. I still have to depend on others. Sigh... I'm not only financially tight, my health are not good too. My body weak, I eat too little and less exercise. I just went to see doctor yesterday. I'm in UTI, luckily it's not serious and didn't get fever for it. Doctor said I'm strong enough to fight the fever. Well, I doubt it. ^_^"

Anyway, back to the topic... this year, I didn't gamble, or drink any beers and I only eat Yu Sang once. I feel sorry for myself though T_T. Piggy year is not so lucky for Piggy. T_T Aih~ but then, I'm lucky to have Dear with me. He came to pai nian on the 3rd. My dad seems to like him. ahaha... I went to his uncle's house, they are friendly. Likes to jokes, reminds me of my birth mother and my Ah Yee. This year I didn't went there for 'pai nian' coz... she told me not to and plus, I can't find anytime to go since my bro went camping with his friends and I have to go back to MLK early. Dear send me back to Mlk with his cute car without air-con. :P It's ok lo, I'm happy. hahahah.... He took all the trouble to fetch me and send me already made me happy lor.

Lastly, few days before the Chinese New year ends. We have a bbq in my friend's house and we had a great time. I had a lot of sausages and chicken balls. ^_^" All the friends that came are future accountants. I get to listen their future path. Most of the time, I keep quiet coz that is what I do. ^_^" Before I went back, they were planning to gamble but then, I think I'm kinda out of cash. So I back off and plus... I had to sleep early.

Just Another Valentine

2007-03-13T18:35:00.000+08:00

I haven't update my blog for 1 month now... ^_^" gomei gomei~You guys must be wondering what had happened to me. Well if I wanted to start talking... it will be a long long longggg story. I tried to make it short.

So.. what happen after Feb 10? Special day such as Valentine Days? ^_^" Well, this year nothing special happen. I didn't get any flowers, or chocolate or a fancy dinner... It is just like a normal day. My dear are busy during that time. He has to rush his work before cny. It's his natural job, I understand it well. The job that require a lot of hardwork and creativity. It is not an easy job though. I understand... a bit dissappointed but it is ok. It just another Valentine.

Oh ya, I went to Jusco with Lay Fen for dinner and shopping. Just to spend the free time with each other so that we don't feel alone. If not both of us will be alone in the house and feel sorry for ourselves. ^_^" LOL

1 year has passed since the last Valentine. Last year was a bit special though, coz I actually bought roses to my friends coz one of my friend likes blue roses that's why I bought it. My friend still keeping that blue rose. I'm happy o. That blue roses reminds me a lot of memory...hahaha feel like crying... :P Anyway...Valentines is not just about couples, it is a day when we celebrate Love - towards your friends, your family and your love one.

The Ladder

2007-02-10T02:01:00.000+08:00

Everybody has their wishes, dreams and goals to achieve. They're willing to go through all the troubles to achieve those goals. Sacrifices ain't taken as something serious because they believe it's worth it.

That is life, we make choices. Everyday we made decisions. The choices that we make lead us to the route to our dreams, our goals, our wishes, and our destiny. The options that we left behind is the sacrifices that we made. It is the route that we're not taken. People who are confident and know exactly what they want, they will never look back and certainly will not care about the sacrifice that they made. In their eyes and their mind, are so focus until one day, they are the one who will achieved what they have always wanted.

Of cause, it ain't easy, plenty of people in this world are suffering because we all have to climb ladders to reach to the top. On your way up, there might be slacks because once in a while, you have to stop climbing and you have to sit down watching people around you keeping their pace climbing up the stairs. Why people stop climbing? Maybe because they're tired? Maybe because of confusion, about whether the ladder they're taking is the ladder that they want? or Maybe some other factors like people below you needs your help to pull them up. Or maybe simply, you're just taking a rest...

I do have my own dreams and I'm climbing my ladders to reach to the tops. At the top, is my happiness, my destiny and my everything. Like everyone else, but slightly and unlikely like everyone else, I used to climb the wrong ladders, taking the wrong route, made all the wrong decisions. I stop at that single step for a very long long time. At that time, I was confused of who I want to be and what I want to do and what are my dreams. That's why everything that I did is wrong coz i'm not aiming the right targets. Losing my ways, I fell to the ground. At the ground, you couldn't get anything because people will only walk pass you and left you behind. You stayed in the dark while the light is up there.

Hurt and wounded, I climbed another ladder that I believe suit me more. So I keep on climbing and still climbing. While others might be on top, I'm still stepping on the first few steps but it is alright because as long as I keep believing of what I'm believing right now, I will be fine.

I have goals to achieve
I have to make choices of which ladder to climb or which route to take and I have to make sacrifices.
Sometimes I have to stop in the middle of the route, because problems will occur no matter how perfectly the route you might think it is.
If I failed, I will never give up, because I can climb the ladder again, and alternatively, there's always another ladder to climb.

Therefore, we shouldn't give up so easily if you want to achieve something that you always want. So, Let's climb ladders! (even there is a lif, the pace is about the same ^_^" don't believe you can try, the only different is, one you have to use your energy to climb and another no need energy because you just stand there, you rely on other things to bring you up, so what's the point?)

Nbtd...

2007-02-07T23:57:00.000+08:00

Well... nothing much to say actually. These few days, I found myself to be alone most of the time. Sometimes I'm glad i'm alone, but sometimes... it ain't feeling very good.

I miss him very much. Haven't seen each other very long d~ sigh.. miss my sister too. The other day I call her up, she screamed, when she know I call her. ^_^"

There isn't much news from dad regarding my stepmom. Not sure about what has happened over there. My bro is not talking very much. No call from him.

Today I receive a surprise call from my mom. ^_^" I was happy when she called, but unfortunately I was unable to take her phone. So... she left a msg, saying that she's no money already and ask us no need to visit her during cny.

Sigh... ... ... (dissappointed)

I didn't say much, I don't know what to say to her. I just don't know why, my reaction very damn slow nowdays. I'm getting very very very impatient about myself.

sigh... ... ... don't know what's wrong with me.

I went for my choir this evening. It was great, it's nice to meet up with the rest of the gang there again. Eventhough, not much ppl show up, it's still ok. I met new friends but I don't remember their names. Sigh...
Oh! one more thing... our group will perform in COS concert on April and I'll be performing too. ^^

You know... I so wu liao~ take my own picture again... hahah

Erm... click here

Oklah... I better go to bed. Goodnite.. ppl.

First month of the Year

2007-02-01T14:49:00.000+08:00

New Year Eve

I spent my new year eve with Derrick, we have a great time. He brought me to watch fireworks in KL. It was a wonderful night. I have no special resolution this year but to wish to have more peaceful year. When everything in peace, I believe we are more calm in everything that we do.

My Birthday

Yeap, my birthday is on the 10th. Previous year, I spent my birthday drinking beer and eating pizza. I was quite lonely, hahah coz that is the time everyone was having their exam while I'm on leave. That time I was still with my Ryan and during that time also, I known Ivan was my neighbour. Well, it's a year now. Things changes rapidly, I moved out and dear Ryan became my X. Ivan remains as unsolved mystery. ^_^" Derrick suddenly came into my life. As I said, things changes.

Anyway, this year, I refuse to celebrate my birthday because of things that happened for the past 2 months. I found myself no point of celebrating as only the number increasing. People get older day by day and moreover, I have no mood to celebrate anything. Well, my baby insist to celebrate my birthday. So, what to do? I just want to make her happy and forget all the things that happened. She ask my dad to bought a cake. I spent them for a pizza dinner. Again... ^_^"
You know, I like pizza. hhahaha... Derrick not with me during that time, but it is ok, he's busy and tired, purposely wake up 5am to wish me 'Happy Birthday' =p That's sweet.

This year, I'm happy though coz most of my friends wish me. Thanks a lot!

Babysitting

Last month, I've become a mother to my sis because her mother are not here. Everything changes. We held responsibilities, and we live our life differently. Completely different from before. Before, everything has been taken care off but now, we have to do everything by ourself. I had a difficult time at the beginning but somehow I managed to go through without any breaks because I understand that if I break, everyone will break with me. I don't want this to happen to us especially when someone actually looked down at us. We must be strong, we kept this belief along the way.

How I go through everyday life there...

Everyday... I had to wake up at 6am because I became an alarm for my baby sis. Lot of things have to do just to wake her up ^_^". Calling her, shake her, drag her ... adoi~ but it's ok. She's still young, when she grow older, she will know how to wake up by herself. :p

Then, I had to escort her to her school coz she's not yet familiar with her schoolmates. One thing is that she can't speak Malay very well. All these while, she's trained to speak only English. That's why, she couldn' t mix well with other children and that makes her no interest to go school. I know these problems, that's why I take sometimes to teach her to speak Malay or else, she will have nobody to teach her when I'm here in Melaka. She's a fast learner. The only things she not good at is Maths. Sigh...

You know, one of the thing I'm worst at is teaching. Maybe I never be a good teacher after all

Working day

Because of my sis and my bro, I had to go work at 9am sometimes even 10am. Sigh... feeling so shy coz came late to work. Lots of things to be done coz I'm leaving soon. My collegue is still not familiar with my job, sooner or later, she will have problems covering every jobs that I'm been doing and plus, sometimes, she couldn't covered her own jobs. So I have to prepare things for her, just to make things easier for her. I'm not worry too much before I left, coz dad's employed Steven to our department. With his existence, I believe the company have the chances for fast recovery. Before I left, I spent 2 days OT just to make sure things are alright before I leave.

Moving in

Last week, I made my bro to drive to Melaka, just to transport my stuff to my new house. So... I stuffed everything that I can into a car but I guess, not everything I can take. I left my boaster and my Teddy there. >.<

Trip to KL

The day before I went back to Melaka, I spend a night in KL with my sisters, Yean Fern and Lay Fen. We stayed in a hotel called Hotel Cardogan, if I'm no mistaken ^_^". It was pleasant, everything was ok except the air-con but still acceptable. The room is Rm150. So Rm50 per person.

For the first day, we went shopping whole day in Times Square. Lot of people shopping there coz of Chinese new year. I spent only about RM90 for tops during that day. Well, I had to save for the next day, that's why I dare not spend to much on that day.

The next day, we shop at Sungai Wang. I spend about RM200 there for pants and some small stuff. We ate Korean food for lunch. That's the first time I taste Korean famous Kimchi. It was nice, it just like acar with cabbage in it. ^_^" After lunch, we take taxi back to Pudu, then took 4pm bus back to Melaka.

It was tiring and exhausting for walking two whole day but worth it la. Since, it's been long long I never shop.

Back to Melaka

At last, back to Melaka... everything had to count on my own now... except living and studying with my dad's money. ^_^"

I found myself very lucky, coz Lay Fen staying opposite my house. It is much convenient for each other since we are neighbours now. Before I knew, I thought that I would be alone coz I'm not familiar with this place and that I would be suffering coz I don't have any transport and plus plus, my house are far away from food stalls but I consider myself lucky enough and that I'm grateful.

I would never ask for anything more. I just hope starting this new trimester. Things will flow smoothly. I just have to pray that everything is fine.

First day of School

Well, first day isn't bad at all, and isn't good at the same time. I felt the same, except that I have to work 10 min to reach to my venue and that include walking up and down the hill.

Besides that, first week are not so stressful YET. So I just enjoy while it last. I'm spend my time blogging, ROing and finishing my office stuff that I brought home. After that, I'm going to zzzz.... hahahah

Just kidding... I don't know what else to write now... I guess it's long enough. =p

Mines Wonderland

2006-12-19T21:17:00.000+08:00

Philippine Typhoon

2006-12-11T11:20:00.000+08:00

I bet you all must heard of the typhoon happening in Philippine right? The worst place happened in my stepmother's 'kampung' - Bicol. It's a very nice place as I went there before. I feel terrible for things that happen to that place recently. Luckily, my stepmom's side doesn't affect much as the place is quite far from Mayon Mount but it is not very lucky for my maid's 'kampung'. Her house ruined till all the member of her family have to stay in a shelter.

Here, I quoted the news from Global Disaster Watch

More than a week after the past super typhoon emergency struck the Philippines, authorities are still struggling to comprehend the full scale of the destruction. Initially focused on the sudden havoc caused by the combination of 466 millimeters of rainfall, 225 kph winds and FREAK mud and lava falls which likely killed over 1000 people in the space of a few hours near Mayon volcano, relief teams have now begun to look across the wide swath of devastation in Albay, Camarines Sur, Catanduanes and Marinduque provinces.

The damage defies belief. 2,436 schools in Regions 5, 4B and 4A have been completely or partially destroyed, with a cost of repair estimated at US$40,000,000.00. The education of more than 2,000,000 children has been stopped or severely hindered. 66,168 families – approximately 331,000 people – have been rendered completely homeless by Typhoon Reming and another 77,046 families have had their homes severely damaged.

The Governor's staff have compiled a one inch thick dossier of photographs depicting whole villages turned into matchsticks and hundreds of roofless school buildings.

Now, the latest Typhoon, Utor still wondering around Philippine. As you can see the picture below. Click to see it.

As you can see, thousand of people are dead, thousands people are homeless and millions of people still suffering from poverty. Hopefully god will guide them to make them stronger to go through life ahead.

Let's us pray in our own way.

Keeping...

2006-12-10T00:16:00.000+08:00

Today, I was hoping that he will call me, but no...I called. Yet, feel like there's nothing to talk about. I was hoping maybe we can meet one of these three days but unfortunately no... He's busy.

All of the sudden, I felt a hard invisible pressure pressing into my chest and I'm became speechless. My tears was going to flow... but I walked to the living room where my sis is playing with her little toys while watching American Funniest Video. I just force myself to laugh and smile in front of her while I keep this feeling away from her.

Sometimes, I'm just feeling weak, hoping to share my sadness and tears with someone whom I trust. I wonder if he can be there, whenever I needed him.

It make me sad, because nobody... can be there for me when I need someone to hug and a shoulder to cry on. That's why, I'm envy those who has the one who is there for you especially those who has their mothers in their life.

You know what... I think I'll just go to sleep...

Temperature +0.05

2006-12-08T20:20:00.000+08:00

Just received letter from PTPTN, sigh... need to start paying back loan d~ What to do right... while I have the money, I quickly pay it off. If not, it will take decades to pay back all.

Today, I'm not feeling well, my brain working very very sloww~ really slow~

Felt a bit cold and warm at the same time, so I checked my temperature... . 37.05 degree cel. So i'm having slight fever. I'm still ok and looks ok. I will still take care of my sis and work as usual. The only thing that I'm not ok is ... my mind.

Anyway, *huggies for those who care about me and support me ^^

and lol~ I'm not a superwoman~ hahha, no matter how strong I tried to be, I will still have weaknesses but yet, I will still keep myself moving forward. ^_^

Stable but not so stable ^_^"

2006-12-03T17:35:00.000+08:00

2 weeks without my stepmom had just past. Well, everything is ok except I'm just a bit tired coz have to take care of my sis all the time but sometimes thanks to Disney Channel and my big and small stuff toys, she doesn't bother me too much now. Sometime she ask where's mummy. I just had to smile and say 'went back hometown'. I believe she will come back to look for her. I just have to make her believe that her mother will come back one day for her.

Lots of thing happening in my head, everyday my mind had to split to four parts-work, family, studies and myself. Every time before sleep, these thing appear just to remind me that things need to be done after I wake up.

At workplace, accounts part still a bit messy. Lots of things that are not done properly in the pass and it become a problem now. To solve this problem will need time and I felt that, 9am - 5pm a day is not enough to solve the problem even if it takes 1 month.

Family... well, besides had to take care of sis, I have to take care of my bro too. Sigh... somebody is still young and still doesn't know how to behave like a man. Sigh... I couldn't say anything to him, so I just hope for miracle so that someday, he will awake.

Studies... erm, the other day, my supervisor came and visit me. Well, she's fine with my work and talked to my manager about my work and stuff. Everything is fine with her, I just have to prepare 1 more monthly report and another final report which need to send in 3 weeks from now. Besides that, I need to pay my fees for this semester... and I'm thinking to delay it until trimester 3, IF it is ok with finance side. I'm still waiting for reply...

Personal stuff... well, I went to check up yesterday. Things that I've been worry about is all solve. I'm healthy! That's the good news, the bad one is i'm having hormonal imbalance, so I need to take medication as well. Will have to check up with doctor after 4 weeks. So, that's fine... medicine only right... not poison. I can manage that. :) Oh, that's explain why am I being so emotional all the time, hmm....

Lot of stuff still playing my emotion lately, one of it, is because of love...
I still think its complicated and want to avoid it, but that's ridiculous. Nobody can escape from falling in love especially when you feel so good being close with each other and you miss her/him when you are apart. Sigh... my heart are not stable enough.

Oklah~ I'm feeling kinda hungry after eating the medicine. I go hunt for food now.
^^ thanks for those who cheer me up for the past two week. I will continue to be strong, take care of whatever that I'm suppose to take care. Think only what suppose to think. Thanks a lot~!

Life getting complicated

2006-11-22T22:36:00.000+08:00

My life getting complicated day by day... I should have known that these problem will happen again one day. I keep believing that it will not happen but yet... it happen, for the second time.

It is very sad and dissappointed to say that my second mom have just left. Happened for the 2nd time in my life, being abandon by someone whom you trusted. You know, I'm really tired to keep on believing that 'she' can be a good wife to my dad and good mother to us. After all these years, I've been trying to put my trust on her, trying to treat her like our own mother but at the end, she gave up.

I don't understand what is wrong with them (parent) as I was away from home for a very long time. Nobody in the family told me anything about any problem at all. Even she came all the way to Melaka to visit me, she didn't even mention anything about her and dad's problem.

Staying in the house for more than 1 month now, I felt that there are more problems that I thought. This problem that I've just told, is the worst worst one but don't worry. I'm ok because I experienced it before. This kind of hurt is nothing compare to last time. The person that I feel sad is T herself. She left her child. My sis just 7 years old, its pity to be alone without mother. I tried to be by her side all the time but how long can I be there for her? She's trying to protect her family in Phil but she abandon her own family. It's too unfortunate that dad still love her. I can't do anything to stop him from finding her back. Problem still have to solve since, it is just misunderstanding, I assumed.

Right now, I just have to take care of my sister... I slept with her, playing with her. Ya, it's very tiring and sometimes its irritating coz you know, after long day of working, then have to accompany sis to play. All these require a lot of patience. Sigh... being a babysitter is not easy but thinking how I've been through last time, I give myself strength to take care of her. Moreover, dad non stop talking about her since the day she left. I understand his feeling, I also don't know what to do. I just try to cheer him up, try to lighten up his burden by taking care of the company and my sis.

There's a lot that I wanted to talk... but I'm just too tired to continue and I miss Der very much. He's been supportive and caring but he's busy these days. I don't blame him and I don't want disturb him with my problems. Same goes to my friends... I don't wanna disturb anyone.

I just want my friends to know that I'm having this kind of problem, having headache and heartache and all. That's why sometimes I didn't reply your messages. Not very active in Kbox lately... might be MIA for quite sometimes. Sorry to say that, I might not be coming for the BBQ gathering. Very very very sorry~~~ hopefully in future, we will meet. I promise, I will be back~ hahhaha...

Rihanna's Unfaithful

2006-11-10T16:48:00.000+08:00

I've been listening to this song over and over again...
find it very meaningful =p

UNFAITHFUL - RIHANNA

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
cause it seems that wrong
really loves my company

Hes more than a man
and this is more than love
the reason that the sky is blue
the clouds are rolling in
because I'm gone again
and to him I just can't be true

and I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside
to know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer

I feel it in the air
as I'm doing my hair
preparing for another day
A kiss up on my cheek
He's here reluctantly
as if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
where I'm about to go
and we know it very well

cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside
to know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer

our love
His trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore (anymore)

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer (a murderer)

Dedicated to Freddie, Ry, Iv & Der

MiA in Melaka

2006-11-10T16:15:00.000+08:00

I just came back from Melaka today... guess what, I just sit for my sup paper. >.<>.< style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 204, 102);">Just pray for me for miracle to happen so that I pass this subject peacefully.

I went down to melaka on Wednesday morning, reach there after 6 hours. Ya... 6 hours! I left the station around 8.30am, the bus suddenly break down and we have to move to another bus. Reach Melaka Central after 6 hours. I went to take my lunch at Ayamas. Ya... I'm eating alone... coz I'm too hungry. So, I just sit there and eat. sigh...

Then, I took taxi went to Bkt Beruang, then walk to Amanda's house ^^ It's very nice to see her after so long. She cut her hair ^^'' which is one I feel very sayang lo~ haha. She doesn't change much. As pretty as always, as cheerful as always and cute as always. ^^

I reached there, studied the whole day and night.

The next day is the day. The paper was pretty easy, but... sigh, (pray pray)

After exam, walked back to Amanda's house under the rain. ^^" After the exam, I just feel a bit relief. Feel wanted to hug someone =p but unfortunately, that someone not here. He's so far2 away. It's ok, life is short, life is not prefect. We cannot demand too much, right? Be happy of what you have... erm...

This trip... makes me think of the past. I feel so foolish that I make things so complicated. I realize that I'm the one who makes things complicated. I guess, I'm the one who are thinking too much and spoil everything that can be prefect.

Sigh... life ar life~

^^ Bedroom photo session =p

2006-11-02T20:19:00.000+08:00

Major changes

2006-10-31T22:43:00.000+08:00

Finally able to get in touch with the cyber world. Lot's of things happening this few days. Emotionally and mentally not stable lately. I don't know where to start actually, kinda tired now but still wanted to blog coz if not, I won't be able to write anything because there's too much in my mind.

There are 2 changes in my life right now...

the first, yeap... like most of you might guess it right. I'm in a relationship now. I never expect it to be like this but it's just happen. Someone who take me as who I am and constantly made me happy. You know, love and relationship remains complicated to me. Fears of hurting are still inside my heart. I'm hoping and believing that 'he' will never let me down and will always treat me this way.

the second changes I was talking about is that, Amurtha is leaving the company today, I had to learn all the stuff that she's been doing for the past few month coz I have to takeover her jobs from tomorrow onwards. I will be very very very very busy. Hope I'll be tough enough, to speak out like I never use to speak and be tough like I never use to be. Erm~! wish me luck! and ... my dear brother, please help your jie2 here, accounting department only got You & Me.

Pictures during Deepavali

2006-10-27T21:31:00.000+08:00

The Rest of my Days

2006-10-27T11:26:00.000+08:00

Haha, I thought I was going to be very bored the next day. Luckily, DR ask me out. We went to watch Grudge 2 but we were late 20 minutes because of our dinner and it's raining heavily during that evening. It's ok, we still manage to catch up with the show since the story are very similar to Grudge 1.

I reach home early that night and I'm happy. ^^

Right now, I'm bored again... the cable fellar fly my aeroplane AGAIN. So pissed off. I was planning to study, hahahah ya, study~ but found out that the book that I was looking for are in the box that I've left in Melaka. Sigh...

What to do? I watched 2 more epi of Love in Harvard. The story now getting very emotional. Hahaha... trying to skip the painful part where the couple split. The next epi will show they meet again after 3 years where they graduated and worked. Erm...

After watching... I played Lemonade Tycoon 2. Hahahha... this is the time I always remember Yean Fern for uploading a bunch of games into my PC which I use to think it's wasting my hardisk. =p hahahah... Anyway, *huggies thanks...

2 more days before I start to work again. This time I better get more spirit to work seriously. Time is passing real fast, everything changes. For me, this is the life that I'm going to live after I graduate. It will be this life. Wake up 8am, going to work at 9am, back from work at 5pm, dinner at 6pm, sleep at 12am. The Weekdays daily circle, I call it. Well, this is only the beginning, there's long way to go. Many many things that I've expected it to come but somehow, it is just a matter of time.

Lot of stuff that I wanted to express it out but somehow I feel that it is better to keep inside before I break someone else's heart again. What I can say is I'm very happy with my life now, eventhough happiness is never constant, challenges are awaiting us somewhere in future but we can be happy if we can go through this challenges. The most important thing is always be strong. When you are weak, there are always someone who are always there, willing to share it with you. You just have to keep your eyes open to see who they are.

Oklah, enough of crapping... hahahah

T o b e c o n t i n u e d . . .

How I spend first 3 days of Holiday

2006-10-23T20:06:00.000+08:00

I've been kinda MIA lately because I still couldn't online using my pc because my line haven't fix yet till now. That fellar promised to come last friday never show up and because of Hari Raya and Deepavali, I guess I have to wait till next week. Aihhhh~~~~~~

Lot of things happening in my life right now, until I don't know how to tell you guys. Last friday I got myself drunk. I was celebrating Lanie's birthday, her member came over, and we have couple of drinks. We were enjoying and all... I was happy, you know... drinking whisky like drinking coke, omg I tell you, I'm sick the next day and I had to cancel my date. I was planning to sleep the whole day, buttt... I was forced to get up for house visiting. I tell you~~~ I hardly stand still, and was suffering the whole morning at other people's house. Couldn't eat, couldn't drink, couldn't sleep, couldn't go back. Sigh... how embarassing.

I went to Uncle Raja's house. One of my dad's old old old friend. It was a cheerful atmosphere over there, it just that I had to pretend that I'm ok all the time. I had a little bit of Butu Mayam, it was my favourite but too bad I lose my appetite. Sit there about 2 to 3 hours, then we headed to Uncle Jaya's house, also one of my dad's old old old friend. I feel ok a bit at that time, and feel a bit hungry so I took some Nasi Berani with Kurma and Veggie. Sit there about 2 to 3 hours. Dad was very drunk at the time coz he drinking whisky since the 1st house we went. Later on, we went to another uncle's house, I couldn't remember what his name as I never seen him before. Dad was heavily drunk, and he had to rest himself for a while. At the mean time, me, T, Ate Cha and Lanie just have to sit there for 4 to 5 hours eating Muruku with sirap and watch AXN. We went back and reach home around 6pm.

I was really tired of sitting. I went back clean myself, had dinner then sleep.

The next day, I wake up very early to prepare myself for whole day outing. DR fetched me around 12 something, we headed to Kota Damansara. A place that I've never go before. It was nice modern place I can say, with lotsa shopping centres. Hahaha... I had a wonderful day with DR that day. ^^ very happy. I wish to go there again. ^^ Feel reluctant to leave, wish I could stay a night there but it's impossible. I reached home around 12am, feel kinda tired, so I lay down and fall asleep.

Today, feel kinda bored, playing games and watched 3 epi of Korean series, Love in Harvard. Stop watching it for awhile coz could sense that bad things are going to happen. Erm... I'm not in the mood for some trouble scene. Erm... So I continue play games, and listening to music.

I just had my dinner, online a while, blog a while, then I dunno what else to do. Sighhhh.... don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. aihhhhhh.....

Tension

2006-10-17T18:19:00.000+08:00

1st day of work was OK, normal, nothing stressing or pressuring coz all I do is key in some figures in the system and print out the bill. Today is the 2nd day, kinda pressuring coz boss planning to let me handle import shipment of one customer. I'm afraid I couldn't do it. Afraid that I might say something stupid and mess the whole thing.

God, if only I'll be more courage and brave enough to face the challenges that coming my way. Arrgghh...

*pray *pray

Home Sweet Home

2006-10-14T11:59:00.000+08:00

At last, my 4 month suffering in Melaka has come to an end. I'm finally at home, where I can eat and sleep whenever I want. =p Hahah...Sound like a spoiled kid huh? Anyway, I could only do this until tomorrow. Monday onwards, I have to start my internship at my dad's. Yeap~ it is, very soon but there was no choice for. I just have to accept it.

Anyway, using my bro's laptop now with the cacat'ness'. I should be able to online using my own pc next week. Hopefully~~

Till then, I'll stop here... Have a niceeee~~~~ day~

Worst Exam Day of My Life

2006-10-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

Today, I had a worst exam day in my whole life. Well, it is my fault actually.

15 minutes before walking to campus for Malaysian studies examination, I wanted to make sure the venue for the exam is at ACR1002 which is very far to walk... took about at least 10 minute to reach there. So ok, it is at ACR.

Then... I went out, walked a little faster so that I could reach there few minutes earlier to catch my breath but... once I reached there, while I was catching some air, and ready to enter the venue, I was searching for my exam slip and you know what? I LEFT THE SLIP ON MY DESK. ~_~""""""" I was so damn angry with myself. I had rushed back home to take that stupid piece of paper.

I was 15 minutes late for the exam and know what? I came out after 45 minutes. Hahaha Luckily it is just MCQ.

Sigh... What a day. This is the first time I'm 15 minute late for an exam. *bang bang myself for being so blur and careless.

Upd@t3 'ing'

2006-10-04T17:27:00.000+08:00

Haha, it's time to update my blog~ It's going to be a longggg entry...

I'm on my exam week now, kinda tension, but it's ok, beside having several sleepless night, several stomachache and headache, I still manage to go through this hardship, at least 50% now. Thanks to my friends who cheering for me, wishing me luck. ^^ I'm so grateful to know all of you. Eventhough, we just known each other for like less than a month, but I known you all for a very long time. Haha... Kboxer and Kboxing are cool~! =p

8 more days, I'll move out from this house. Kinda sayang this place coz it brings a lot of sweet memories. Oh well, life moves on... each and everyone of us got our own goals to achieve, our own life to live. We could only remember the time we use to be together and hopefully someday we will meet again and go for yam cha. Maybe bring along you, gf, bf, husband and wives along, or maybe your kids and we will laugh together like we use to be. :p

Suddenly, don't know what else should I report here, I felt kinda tired after 3 papers of exams in 2 days. Seriously, my health are deteriorating, I need to do medical check up and go to dentist to fix my aching tooth. Sigh... I've not taking care of myself very well, huh? So useless,... I always wish other people to take care of themself but I never really take care of myself. Sigh...
forgive me.
OH YA~~ hahaha forgotten to report one thing. I finally get my new hp~~~!!! W810i. Yea~! and I'm loving it~!
Some of the picture taken with my new gadget.

My gang, hahaha, from left, Lani, Arlene, Charina, and T. ^^ This picture taken during our Karaoke session in Centerpoint. We went singing like nobody business because we were bored at that time and T suddenly want to sing. So we just went it.

My younger bro, taken he has his haircut. ^^; Leng chai le~ like gangster. =p No ar, just kidding. Seriously, the quality of the pic ain't the same as it viewed in the phone. Em... i'm kinda dissappointed tho, but it's ok. You know what, the picture look greeny coz my whole house painted with green, ~_~" except for my room =p.

hehehe, ingredient for BBQ and Steamboat. Yummy~! It's dad's idea.

Someone's cooking. ;p

Me, me and Me... hahaha

Oklah, that's all for today. =p Need to get some rest, I'm falling asleep.

I Shall Be Released

2006-09-21T04:49:00.000+08:00

I just wanna share one of my favourite songs which is "I Shall Be Released". I like this song very much... I'm not sure who is the original singer. Bob Dylan I guessed. It's an old song. 80s perhaps. I like the melody played by guitars. I listen to this song over and over again for few times without feeling bored to it. It's really nice to hear when you hear it in live performance. I like to listen to these kind of songs when you're feeling relax, and you wanted to enjoy the melodies of each notes played by a particular song that you think you might like. Haha, thanks to my dad influence for loving songs like these. Other similar songs are like Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight, Eagle's Hotel California, Gary Moore's Still in the Blues and many many more.

I try to search for some video clip over the internet, but I could only find Gov't Mule's version of the song which is not bad. They other songs are quite nice too. One of it is "Sunshine". Rox!

E f#m
They say everything can be replaced
G#m a b e
They say every distance is not near
F#m
So i remember every face
G#m a b e b
Of every man who put me here

(chorus:)
E f#m
I see my light come shinin'
G#m a b e
From the west unto the east
F#m
Any day now, any day now
G#m a b e
I shall be released

They say ev'ry man needs protection
They say that ev'ry man must fall
Yet i swear i see my reflection
Somewhere so high above this wall

(chorus)

Now yonder standing there in this lonely crowd
A man who swears he's not to blame
All day long i hear him shouting so loud
Just crying out that he was framed

(chorus)

Exams and Financial stress

2006-09-20T02:57:00.000+08:00

Exams are two weeks from now... and, I'm kinda tension because for some reasons, I feel that I don't have enough information in hand to in order for me to face the exams but still I'm working hard on it.

I'm not feeling well lately, maybe I don't eat enough and I don't have enough energy for studies. I'm gonna have to restock my food for the next 23 days.

Still haven't buy new hp yet. I'm still considering when is the suitable time to buy because as you know hp price are never constant. Their price will keep on dropping because of new models coming out. The next time I need to considerate is whether to buy Ap set or ori set. The different is the warranty given to the hp. Ap set warranty are from the person you buy while the ori set warranty are from the SE itself. Both set vary in price and of course the ori set are more expensive than the AP set. Right now, the cheapest price I found for AP set is Rm1080 while Ori RM1199. I will buy the ori if the price within my budget. I'm dying to own a new hp, hopefully the price will drop to RM1100 by that time. Hhahaha... don't know whether it is possible or not.

Having tight financial condition right now, I just receive email about Recruiting partimer for flyers distributing for RM600 for 4 days. It will be on study week. Sigh... one thing, I was attracted to it because of the $$$$. Another thing, is, it is on study week. If I go for work, I would have less time for my study. Sigh... there's a mission for me to work out for this semester, so... I just let that RM600 slipped away~~~~~

So you see, I'm having exams stress, and also financial stress right now. Anyway, I better go to sleep now... coz it's way past my bed time. So goodnite~~~

They say "Be Strong"

2006-09-14T19:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday... I break down, coz I just received the news that I got barred from examination. I Thought my world was going to break coz I have to extended 1 more sem, and my mind starts to thinks further and further... and so, my tears flow non stop. I was tired of everything... so I went to sleep at 11pm, but... I just can't sleep, then I opened my pc again.

Thanks to D for being there for me, support me and comfort me, and so I can sleep well.

This morning, I received another call from another lecturer, he ask me to meet him. There's some problems with my attendance as well. Sigh... So, I went to meet him, told him about my problems. He understand my conditions that I need time to go through new changes in my life. He ask me to be strong... and forget all problems and relationship problem. Most important things that I must do is to focus on myself to develop and improve myself, so that I become more successful. I keep that in mind.

A lot of lecturers starts to know about my problems. Later that afternoon, I met the Dean for the same problems. Told her the same thing. To my surprise, she's very understanding and a good listener, I feel better after telling them my problems. At least, they don't think that I'm some kind of useless kids who ponteng classes all the time. They understand, support me, and they give me chances so that I can go on with what I believe in, NOT because I didn't attend class, but because I believe that I can change myself to the better and changes takes time.

For some reason, I still feel that I'm useless. I have same problems in all the sems eventhough, the problems that I'm facing getting lesser. At least, I feel lighter and less stress because I only have to take care of myself. Somehow, I feel useless coz the effort is not enough. Don't sure how strong I am or I'm still weak.

So, when I realize this, I'll just have to be strong just like everyone says to me, "You have to BE STRONG. " Erm... I will and I'm trying...

Just now, I called home .. dad receive the call. Told him about the stuff happening... sigh... it is really nice to hear my dad's voice again. Miss dad lo... I can't be like 7 years old, run back home and hug my daddy. I'm feel kinda old d, but inside of there's still like a 7 years old, ahahah feel like crying... hahaha. Just kidding.

Anyway, I'm changing hp sooner... W810i, muahahah. I was going to buy today but too bad, no more stock. It's ok now, my cacat punya hp now can be use only with handfree. Thanks to D again for suggesting it to me. Haha.. Now, I don't have to rush buy that hp. I can wait for the hp price to drop. muahaha...

Haha, that's all for today... ^_^

2nd Day for Week 12

2006-09-12T14:44:00.000+08:00

2nd Day of Week 12, closer to the end of the trimester... final examination is approaching... stress and anxieties starts to take over me... haha... not that stress la actually, just OK.

Today's presentation was great, we did a 50mins presentation on our Prime Minister. We all wear like professional. All wearing either black or blue with blazer. Forgotten to take a few shots, haha anyway, we look great and we did great. Elaine did a good job, she speaks so fluently, so confident, and she sound so mature and powerful. Haha, she become my idol already. Ming Wee's great too, and so to Joe. They are all very great presenter. I only own a small part of the whole presentation. I'm more to the hardcopy of the assignment. Basically I did 90% of the hardcopy, feel happy about it because it is finally over and we did great. The lecturer was impressed with our presentation, she gave us full marks which for us is more than enough.
(Trying to find suitable outfit for presentation :p )

After the presentation, we drove to a cafe nearby to take our lunch as to celebrate our successful presentation. After that, I came back home.... to take my rest...

There's two more presentation to go. One is on Saturday, I'm not presenting but I'll take care some of the slides. I just received the emails from the leader and I shall continue with the work after my blogging session. Another presentation will be next week. I'm not sure who is presentating, the hardcopy of it still haven't done. We just finished our phone interview session with Head of Finance department of MMU cyberjaya yesterday. The interview went smoothly, Thanks God.

Within this two days, I found out that I lack too much presentation skills, communications skills and general knowledge. These things are so important, I must improve more on myself, or else I won't be able to speak up at all. Sigh... anyone can guide me?

My room now are so messy coz I have to pack up some of the stuff in a box. Moving out soon, there's a lot of stuff to done. Hopefully, my T will be free next two week to bring back some of my stuff. 33 days more... Seriously, this is the first time, in 4 years in MMU, this is the first time I stay here for more than 3 months without going back. Next month, I'm able to go back and spend another 3 months with my family and friends. Miss them so much. :( Anyway, I crap so much, think I have to end now. After I finish with the slides, I have to start study for final d.

Wish me luck ^^

Most Busy Week of the Trimester Cont...

2006-09-09T12:15:00.000+08:00

Busy week of Week 11 continues, there's 1 more assignment 3 more presentation to complete before I could have a good rest.

Trying to finish OB assignment... this assignment is a headache, the topic itself has limited info that I could find on the net. Sigh... this is what happen when you're doing assignment at the very last minutes. At the moment, you realize that you have chosen the wrong topic, and you can't do anything but to proceed. While my other members putting full responsibility on me for the main content of the assignment. I got no choice but to do my best since the deadline is approaching. We have to finish it by tonight or tomorrow morning. I just want to finish this early so I could concerntrate on my final.

Sigh... my hp is 'out' again. I almost buy a new hp yesterday because I am too frustrated that I have to sms to inform my other members about something that is so important. It's time consuming and it getting on my nerves. I was trying to arrange appointment for interview with Cyberjaya Finance Treasury Manager for interview and I couldn't do it because of my stupid hp, but luckily I manage to take the email add of the secretary and I arranged the meeting via emails. So... it is done. Thanks to the internet. ^^

I was not feeling well yesterday, I have headache, maybe because of my tooth. I have to go for dentist as soon as possible, but the earliest I can go is after final examination. So, at the moment, I just have to bare the pain. Giving up all sweets, chocolate and Ice-creams for a while... T_T

I'm afraid to go out these days, you know because of increased crime rate around Malaysia. There's a lot of snatch thief, road bullies, kidnapping and etc~ it makes me feel unsafe whenever I stand on the road. It's so sad, it use to be so peaceful especially in Bukit Beruang but now, everywhere is unsafe. You also can't blame these criminals, as you can see, people are getting desperate because of inflation that was cause by petrol hike and so on. Everyone include you and me are affected. Things are getting expensive, of cause these people will get desperate and do things that ain't suppose to do. Well then, that's just no excuse for do hurting people, right? So, everyone so must take cautious about the situation and help each other, not only to avoid ourself being the victims of crime rate but also to care peoples around us. Some of us are desperate, they need help and we try ourself to help them, you know, to listen to them, give advise and so on so on. Just hope, people look at brighter side, and take hardship as one of their challenges for live a better life. There's no use in making people living in fear everyday.

Anyway, I better get back to work. Time is getting shorter, but we still have lots of things to do especially when we getting older.

First Presentation a Success

2006-09-06T20:24:00.001+08:00

This week is crazy, as you can see in the second previous post, I have deadlines from Monday to Friday. So far, so good... I pressume. I still have interview tomorrow regarding my Malaysian Economic assignment. Hopefully I can manage to go through it...

This morning, we've done our presentation for Malaysian Studies. It was awesome. We actually did a sketch on Hakka culture. It was excellent, we get full marks for that. Everyone was happy, but some part of me doesn't seems to be happy. Maybe because I didn't do much because I'm not presenting. Feel kinda down actually... my mouth just can't open everything I wanted to but my brain keep working and working and working... but it just doesn't come out of my mouth.Sigh... maybe something is wrong with me.

I always thought "Silent is Golden". I wonder, if it still have its magical in it.

Anyway, after the presentation, we have a small teabreak. We ate our Hakka food which is call Lei Cha. It's nice~ all vegetables. I like vegetables. We have our chit chat.. erm, they have their chit chat (coz I'm quiet all the time, just giggle a bit when it's time to be laugh).

After that, we went back to Class. As usual, BTM's quiz... we manage to took some picture from Christina Phone... It's nice... feel that it's been a long time since I took my last picture. ^_^

From Right, Winnie, Mei Yee, Christina and Me. Haha, they are so beautiful during that time, isn't it? I look kinda sleepy~ ahhhaha.

After class, I went straight back home, coz my tooth start to ache again and when it happen, it means I'll have headache.

Sigh... Lotsa health problem lately... headache, toothache, stomach ache, etc~ etc~~ I really need to go for medical check up but that's will only happen after 39 days. Yeah, after that, I can go back home~ I miss Klang bah kut teh lo~~ and and,... I miss the scent of my bedroom. T_T

Eh hem, I better get back to study now... Final it's just around the corner~ erm erm...

Minna san gambate ne~

Falling in Love

2006-08-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

I've always love to listen to old songs. Well, hope it doesn't make me a 'Outdated person' I hope but lucky I'm not the only one. Hehe. These few days, for some reason, I'm in the mood to search for new song in the genre. I found a few songs and I immediately fall in love with it.

The first song I heard is Christina Aguilera's Mercy on Me. It's a nice song, a bit of christianity tho coz, based on the lyric, it is something like a confession from Christina to Jesus. Em... but it's a nice music, Christina has a strong vocal as usual. In this single, she definitely did a great job.

Upload music at Bolt.

The Second song I listen to is Michael Buble's Try A little Tenderness. I like this song, it's very relaxing. Sound a bit classical and Jazzy. I like it very much and plus plus, his voice can really melt my heart. I love this song. The third song I've been listen to is also from Michael which is Quando Quando Quando. It's a duet with Nelly Furtado. I like this song originally sung by Engelbert Humperdinck if I'm not mistaken. He's an old singer who sing songs The Last Waltz which is one of my all time favourite.

Upload music at Bolt.

Upload music at Bolt

I've been listening to these song whole day and I'm still listening to it. The songs somehow remind me of someone. Haha... Anyway, I love these songs, it give me some kind of happiness, pleasure and relaxation. ^^ Love it

Busy Weeks of the Trimester

2006-08-24T20:02:00.000+08:00

Week 9 over soon, 5 weeks more to determine my fate in MMU. I mean it, this semester going to determine whether I'm graduating next year. I'm praying every night hoping I can go through this smoothly.

Next week, going to be seriously busy, here is my schedule...

Week 10
28/8 - Malaysian Econs Test - done
29/9 - PMS Meeting - done
Date To be confirm - Arrange Interview with Finance Department - done
Date To be confirm - Help Lay Fen take her License - done
Before 1/9 - Submit letter to supervisor - done
Before 1/9 - Submit Bank-in slip & Insurance Policy to Finance - Paid, but... they actually ask me to wait another 2 weeks to get the receipt.

Week 11
4/9 - Legal Environment of International Business Case Test - done
5/9 - BTM Test - done
6/9 - Malaysian Studies Presentation - done
7/9 - Malaysian Econ Interview - done

Week 12
12/9 - Organizational Behaviour Assignment due and Presentation - done and it's great.

Week 13
16/9 - Business Ethics Presentation - done
20, 26 & 27/9 - Treasury Management Presentation

Week 14
Study Week

Week 15 &16
FINAL EXAM WEEK

15/10 ~ Moving out ~

A lot of difficulty will be face next month. Hope I'll can go through this. Not only me, all my friends too~ GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL AND TO ME.

25/8
A lot of things happened within such a short time, trying to keep aside the emotional side of me, tho... it's painful to bare but that is just the way for not letting emotion control over us.

26/8
Time is short, could feel the pressure of tense running through my whole body. It's might be too late to get the best result but it's never too late to put out 100% effort and commitment into it.

A Short Moment of Loneliness

2006-08-20T14:33:00.000+08:00

I've done 2[Business Ethic & OB] out of 5 midterms so far. That's mean 3 more [International Business Law, Malaysian Econ, & Treasure Mgmt], for the next 3 weeks. I realize that I'm improving in dealing with midterms and assignments. This sem I am more focused. There isn't much of emotional disturbance which is good. Hopefully, this kind of environment will continue to surround me throughout my life.

Yesterday night, I was so tired after cracking my brain for 2 test and came back washing my clothes, cook for my dinner and so on so on. After that, I feel like enjoying myself, so I watch Fate/Stay Night 20-end but something inside of me suddenly want to cry out. Maybe the couple in the anime didn't get together at the end, they love each other but they can't be together. It's their fate to meet but it isn't fated to be together. Sad isn't it? Feel touched coz it feels kinda similar to me.

All of the sudden, I feel kinda lonely and the crying person inside of me struggling to come out. She did come out for a while and that moment, I shed a few tears. Soon, I realize... there's nothing to cry about. This is life, everyone has their dream to achieve and so am I. The route that I've chosen required me to let go of things that I've cherished. I might be getting it back in future, but then, nothing is fixed as it might not be coming back to me. The risk that I've to bare for the rest of my life...

I've been emotional mode for quite while. Afraid that It might be get worst if I continued to think and feel about it. Yes, there's nothing wrong with letting go of the feelings, but I think nothing can be done even if I cry. Things that happened are already happened, nothing can be done to changed it. I just want to keep myself in control. Can't rely on other people to cool ourself, sometimes it get worst. I better to depend on myself instead. So, I took a glass of whisky to cool me down.

When it's about 3.30 am, realising it was way past my bedtime, I went to bed, hoping for a better day for next day.

Not a Bad Day for me

2006-08-16T21:36:00.000+08:00

I've been having sleepness night lately. Don't know why, I feel sleepy, but when I close my eyes, my mind still active. How many times I tried to hibernate myself but found myself still wide awake. Sigh... Maybe I'm too stress, especially at this time-9 month from now I'm gonna leave here. There's a lot of things that I haven't done. Want to take any opportunity that comes along to do what I want to do before I regret in latter time.

I registered as a member to be in Chinese Orchestra Society choir group today. It's my first time attending classes like this. I mean, class not involving books, theories and writing. One of the reason I joined is because I like to sing. Singing is my passion, just suddenly feel like want to do something useful with it. Hehehe... It's fun, you able to get to know more friends who shared the same interest. You know what, when I introduce myself, as usual, their reaction will be "Huh? You are older than me?" ^_^" Well ya, I might be oldest here but yet I doesn't seems to look like one, but then, it's not something that I should worry about, isn't it?. When it come to knowledge, age and size doesn't matter. Most important thing is 'the will to gain the knowledge' is important. Right? hehehe....

I had one difficulty during the class, which makes me so so so so frustrated. I can't read chinese character! and I don't understand most of the words they are saying. Sigh... I feel so terrible and yet, I don't want to quit. I always having trouble in memorizing chinese sounds or character even people's name. So, I'm going to have tough time but it's ok, I never intend to quit anyway but really how someone could teach me or give me advise me on how to learn the language.

Don't know why, today, suddenly there's a lot of things coming to me, it's not bad thing but it's a good thing. It makes me feel alive again, if u know what I mean. Like I'm still exist in the society. hahaha... Maybe it's my good luck today. :) If everyday are like today, how nice~~~ (Dreaming...).

I will be busy this weekend onwards coz of exams and assignments due plus, got classes and choir class. Moreover, Mymmu.net have a new image, so means I'll have new responsibility soon. Tomorrow, I got appointment with Syukor to discuss about mymmu.net stuff. Lot of things will be discuss. Just hope this time, I don't struggle to open my mouth again.

I've decided to move out from the house by end of this semester. Just to save the money, I take the risk of losing a nice place to stay during my last semester but, I got no choice, its my first priority to save money. I need the money for some reason. I'm not working, so the only way I could get the money is the save from my dad's allowance. Whether I'll be staying on the same house again or other house or maybe EP, depends on the availability of the room during that time. Or else, I'll have to tumpang somebody's house until I found the room.

There's a lot of things that I wanted to talk about, but I guess my post is a bit too long. Have to stop here or else somebody out there will say 'It's too long, don't want to read'. :p

Abnormal or Special?

2006-08-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

The other day, I was categorized as 'abnormal' by my Ah Ko because I told him I sleep too much. Normally people sleep 8 hours but I sleep 10 hours sometimes 12 hours. Well, its abnormal? Well, some people do sleep 10 - 12 hours, some people sleep even longer. It doesn't make them being an 'abnormal', does it?

Recently I'm afraid to sleep longer coz I was having weird weird dreams. I've dreamt almost all people I've known and in different diferent situation. If I continue to sleep, I afraid I won't be able to differentiate between what is dream and what is reality. I guess maybe I've been keeping to myself quite a while now. Haven't seen people quite a long time. Maybe I'm abnormal... lol.

I don't think any girls are like me, spend most of times in front of computer. Holiday also doesn't want to go back home.Other girls probably went back home, talk to mommy and daddy about how school went. Some maybe hanging out with girl friends to discuss something about what is the fashion in the market or chit chat about whose the most handsome guy in campus and so on. Well, not all girls are like that, but majority. I'm one of those minority one who prefer to spend time alone and do what I like to do. I wonder if that's make me abnormal. Sometimes I do talk with my girl friends but we will talk something like what's going on to the world or a 'what if...' situation. Something that makes us think. (Sigh, now I miss my friend).

Another might-be abnormal thing from me is, I tend to make mess my workplace then, I'll clean them up nicely after all the mess I've done. I don't know why, but that's just what keeps happening. I guess I'm not a prefectionist, maybe because I think nothing in the world is prefect. Some ways, some hows, there will be a flaws. However, I won't let anything that have more than 40% of flaws. I will get frustrated.

Music is my life, I can't live without music in my life. Everyday, I must listen to music and sometimes I listen to it whole day. One thing that makes me so predictable is because of the song I listen to every minute. My emotions goes with the melody of the songs. Sometimes when I listen to song like 'Get Out' from Jill, means you will know that I'm in furious mood. Hahaha.

So how do we know how abnormal is abnormal? How do we differentiate it between being abnormal and being special? Well besides I'm abnormal of having more hairs than meat. That I know...(embarrassed) So am I being abnormal or special? Hm....

Wounded Heart

2006-08-12T19:44:00.000+08:00

Have you ever feel that you're trying to talk to somebody and that you're afraid that the other person doesn't want to talk to you or care about you? When you have this unwanted feeling inside of you, what do you do?

I've been telling myself to shut up all these while because I have this feeling that tells me that once I talked, I won't be getting any response or get a blade-slash-to-the-heart. Trying to hold back what've care for just because of this fear that I felt. Fearing that someone will get irritate, fear that it will lead to no friendship. Even if I am that person, I would feel the same especially when you think that you have a lot of things to do and you got no time to concertrate on relationship problems.

There's another fear that I felt is the fear of talking that will lead to argument. I tried to avoid myself giving away reaction that will rise people's anger but eventhough I tried to avoid in anyway I can including keeping my mouth close still, I end up in a furious situation where both of us are blinded by anger. At the end, I'll cry on my bed, waiting for someone to save me from myself.

I've been trying to speak up and try to say 'Hi' to anyone but usually end up fearing to get no response. One way to know whether the other person care about you is to simply observe whether he/she greet you once in a while. If no, not even a phone call, or an email add, or a simply 'hi', then, there's a little chance that I think that person really cares. Maybe the other person is busy of other things, but then, even the busiest person in the world would have a resting time, don't they? Don't they think about us? Maybe it's is depend on how important are we to them. All these tells me to keep my mouth close coz of fears.

Maybe I'm afraid to engaged in relationship and afraid to get hurt because I've been hurt many times. This wounded heart of mine still haven't heal from before. It get hurt more than it's healed. Right now, I won't want to do anything because I couldn't take it anymore.

For Future

2006-08-11T23:35:00.000+08:00

It's more than 1/2 year now, living in my own life. Within this period, I found out a lot of things about myself. About the life and experiences that I dreamt of.

Right now, all I need to do is work hard and concentrate of my studies. Then, I will go for three month practical training in Freight Forwarding company which is my dad's. I will use this opportunity to learn everything that I need to learn from there.

Although, I worked there before but I never give my full ability and commitment to it. So, this time, I will, not because I have to do it, but I realize that I have to appreciate every opportunity that comes to me. It is fortunate that it is my dad's company. There's no pressure whether I do things correctly or not because nobody in the company dare to scold me but my dad, which on surface it looks like a great environment to work with where you can do anything you want. However, that's not the case, I worked there before, that's why I know. They treat me differently because of who I am. Like for example, if I done a terrible mistake, they will not dare to say a word. It's not that I like being scold but I felt like being spoilt.

Working in your dad's company are more pressure than those u work with other people because you have to deal with expectations from your dad, your collegue and your younger brother. Plus, this time onward, I will work together with my ex primary school classmate. Well, I guess that's challenges of life that I have to face.

After graduate, I wish to go overseas, maybe for work and study for few years. I wanted to experience the meaning of living and working in other ppl's country besides, while finding the unanswerable question from other perspective by learning to live in different culture in different countries. This is my new found dream that I want to pursue.

Well that's for future

Oh ya, last two days, I received two surprises.

The first surprises is a visit from my Aunty Toots. She all of the sudden call me out to tell me that she's on the way to melaka because she's bored staying at home. LoL. So they came and reached here about 4.15pm. It's a good news tho, I can save my post expenses to post my training application to my dad. So she can pass the thing for me. Another thing is, I expect to change my phone but my cute baby sister left the phone in the house. So... sigh, have to wait 2 more month. Like usual, we drink that night, not much but it's fun.

For the second surprises is... T bought me a webcam which initially cost RM39 but somehow the quality is terrible so we changed to other brand which cost RM49. What's weird is, that package was tag RM70 but it's RM49 only. I wonder how much is the 'real' price for other products. So, next time, we need to ask the price of the product eventhough they are tagged. I wonder if there's a plot behind this. Hahah... hope i'm not being paranoid here, but then hey! why would they put the price tag there if that is not the price, right?

T and the gang went back then next morning. I'm alone again but this time with new toy. ^^

Tomorrow is the big day for some of us.
It's our friend's CONVOCATION Yeah~!!!CONGRATULATION~! YOU HAVE MADE IT I WISH YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT JOURNEY AHEAD~!
I'M SO SORRY THAT I COULDN'T MAKE IT TO MEET YOU GUYS AND TAKE WONDERFUL MEMORY MAKING PICTURES TOGETHER.
I'LL BE MISSING YOU GUYS.

I'm so happy for them, they will enter a new phase in life. So wait for me guys, after 9 month, I'll join you all and we will work together for better future.

New Layout~

2006-08-11T03:14:00.000+08:00

How's my new design? Change the design, going for warm color palette this time. I like it. There are some feature are eliminated. I don't like the comment page, it's really dale... How can I change it?

Family's Visit

2006-07-31T06:58:00.000+08:00

It's has been quite sometimes since the last 6 o'clock morning that I wake myself. I woke up feeling fresh. It's weird because this is the first time after so long that I wake up at 6 o'clock without feeling sleepy. Maybe it's because I sleep too much for the last few days, so I don't feel tired at all.

The main reason why I wake up is to study, revised and prepare for today's lecture. I have been acting lazy lately, so need to get myself to work extra time to get things done on time. Well, I took a little time of my extra time to blog. Hahah...

So what's really happen on Saturday?

It was a fine Saturday, but its not like every Saturday that I went through. My family came down to accompany me. My T, my younger brother, my younger sister and even my maid/friend came. They bring all sort of things for me. Mainly are all use to cooking purposes (since I'm spend most of my time alone, so I have to manage my own meal). They even bought Bird Nest for me, you know to get myself healthy, I guess it must be my dad's idea. What's funny is, my T actually brought a bottle of Black Label and few cans of beers. I thought she was joking the other night about bringing whisky along, but she actually brought it. LoL.

So, they reach here about 1-2pm. My bro drove the car which makes me proud and down at the same time. I'm proud because my bro finally grew up =p and I'm down because I still can't drive long distance (So, I need to get myself working for it).

My sister really excited to see me, she brought her doggie (which is mine, btw) to play with me. She hugs me all the time. Each time I saw her, she grew few inches taller which is something that I'm worry about, but not her, its me. One day, she going to be a lot taller than me and I will be the small lady in the family despite my age. (What to do? it is too late for me to grow a little taller, even 1 cm is enough for me but... sigh)

My family

My bro actually brought his laptop (which was previously mine) all the way from Klang just to online in Melaka. LOL. Well, it isn't that bad as it sound. He seldom came down together with my T, partly because he seldom communicate with my T and partly because he spend most of his time doing his things. So, it is very rare to see around and he show up on Saturday made me feel grateful (Eventhough, he likes to bully me all the time).

My T and my maid are friends. They came down here, partly because they were very bored at home but their effort to stay over made me happy. They know I feel kinda lonely here, lol so they purposely come to accompany me. (I hope I'm right, LOL).

So, they came and they cook for me while my bro was watching movie from my PC. My sister doing her things which is to "conteng-conteng" (sketching) on my A4 papers. They even help me do my laundry, clean my kitchen. It was really nice. That is the time when I felt so grateful and lucky to have what I have right now. All headaches and heartaches are recovering tho not fully recovered but recovering.

Too bad my dad didn't come, but it's ok.

Whisky Night

During evening, we all go out for dinner at JJ. Saw Mei Ying there, doing some Digi survey thing. I was a surprise to see her there till I can't open my mouth to talk. (...which I don't know why). She's hardworking and active. It's nice to see her doing her things. Inspire me to work harder. =p

We have a nice dinner at Shakey (tho not our all time favourite pizza but well, it's the only pizza available in JJ). After that, we window shopped. Then, around 8pm we went back to my place. We do our things- T and Lani were chatting with their "kampong friends" in YM chatroom. They were laughing like hell. LOL. My bro watched Harry Potter Goblet of Fire while I'm playing with my sis.

Around 10pm, we started to drink. I start off with a can of Carlsberg then whisky+coke while eating T homemade spring rolls. ^^ It was really enjoying. I enjoyed it very much, coz of the taste of Whisky. I missed the taste. =p So we were drinking, do our stuff, laughing and talking. While my sis looks a bit bored, I play with her. She looks sleepy and fell asleep. After a while, Ryan came tag along. My T invite him to drink. It's kinda make me uncomfortable, but then, nothing I can do. Anyway, he enjoy what he's drinking.

I took 4 glass of whisky, yet I dont' feel enough. We managed to finish 1/2 bottle of it. We all sleep around 3 to 4 am, but I can't sleep. I lay down but my eyes were open. I was refreshed all the things that happen to me in the past. Breakups... emotional breakdown...the on and off relationship... things that ain't suppose to happen to me but it did happen to me. I guess it's part of life. I felt that life are much more difficult that anything that happen to me. Eventhough, right now I feel that I'm hanging somewhere up the fence that are standing between two road. The feeling of on and off of relationship it's really tiring, its feel like hanging on the fence where you can't stand still and don't know where you are suppose to stand. At the end, I decide to put everything behind me because this is not a thing that I suppose to worry about all the time. What I should do now is to work hard to finish off my studies without any regrets.

My family went back around 3pm. Sad ... but its ok, I'll go back home soon.

Moment of Silent

When I woke up this morning, I got a bad news from my YM chatmates. One of MMU student was pass away. He's a chinese and 19 years old. The cause of the death is still under investigation. It's really a bad news for all of us as we lost our friend. Eventhough I don't know him, but then, I feel sorry for his family and friends. Rest in Peace.

Spending my time

2006-07-28T12:30:00.000+08:00

SHOPPING
Last Saturday, I went shopping in JJ, alone. No choice, because I'm alone that day and bored. Luckily, it was sales months. I bought...

1. 2 Hush Puppies blouse which about RM50+ after discount.
2. Self study Filipino language for RM25 (gonna learn this language so that I could 3. talk to my step grandparent in Philippine)
4. Mastering English book cost about RM28 (Need to brush up my English, it's so messed up and ... sound bad =.=")
5. A diary so that I can replace my lost diary to keep my schedule on track which cost me Rm18-20
6. Groceries, ingredient to cook and foods to eat, but forgotten to buy cooking oil, all these cost me RM60+

Half day shopping cost me almost RM200 + Taxi fees RM14, Sigh.

I need to save more more more money, the price of products keep increasing.

ACADEMIC
I'm trying to catch up with studies coz I've been MIA for couple of lessons. >.< FORUMS
Mymmu.net like usual, just changed ownership of the portal to Lance. The big marketing plan doesn't really work out. Sigh. Waiting for next move from Lance, he's the boss now.

Another Forum created by my bro, he made me become the moderator of the forum without asking me. ~_~" Well, I'll be patience since he's my only brother and I sayang my brother very much but then, don't forget to pay me what you owe me.

Oklah... nothing much to say about. I better start working on my studies... it's running out of time. Week 6 almost over. How fast the time goes.

Ohya, tomorrow my T and the gang come to stay over. ^.^

Catching up with me

2006-07-26T01:05:00.000+08:00

It's my sixth week now and what am I doing in the past 5 weeks? Seriously, I don't even know what I'm doing. Over and over again I kept telling myself to stop relaxing but I just can't get myself working harder. Sigh...

CLASSES
End up taking six subject instead, I dropped French and don't ask me why? I just can't get that 'r' = 'air' pronounciation and I have no confident that I'm able to learn that language in 14 weeks. It's impossible for me. I rather take Japanese, because why? one, I could improve my Japanese, and two, I could pass easily and the change of getting an A for it is must higher. Hahha...

Anyway, recently I'm busy getting my life back on track. Trying to put myself together and force myself to go for class eventhough most of the time, the class keep cancelling when I actually go for classes which actually made me really mad, ~_~" but it's ok. I'll be patience, 8 more weeks will over very very very soon. As time goes that fast, I'll have to meet all of my assignments due dates very very soon. Right now, we manage to settle BME, just waiting for interview session, maybe next week. So... got to prepare. Then, I manage to finish our job for PMS assignment, now waiting for presentation. Other assignment.... BOB still in haven't started, BET in progress, calling Vatsala tomorrow, BLE assignment... still no sound lecturer haven't announce anything on assignment. Same goes to BTM.

Sigh... dont 'know why this trimester classes mostly conducted at night, it's good for me and bad for me. Hahah, good coz I dont' have to skip class coz I can't wake up in the morning and it's bad for me coz I feel sleepy everything I taken my dinner, but of cause I won't sleep after dinner. =p

PREPARING FOR TRAINING
I'm preparing for Training next trimester, right now waiting for my Confirmation for student status letter from my supervisor. Can't wait to go back hometown work at my dad's company coz can't wait to experience new life. I know... working life is bored... but if you work what you love to work, you won't feel bored. Really. Anyway, training start on 16 October - 6 January, that's 3 month. It is just nice.

FINDING PLACE TO MOVE
I still can't find a suitable place to move. One reason is that I too choosy. I wanted to stay near campus and have good housemates and good house/room conditions. The truth is, I like this place so much that I can't lay my eyes on those houses, but then, I have to leave. No choice.

Aunty Toots will come over this Friday. She will bring something for me. Haha, my favourite foods and some serious stuff, and plus, she will drive me around to find place. So... that's about it.
GOOD NEWS
Congrat to Chris, ahahah, he finally get back to his true love. I'm happy for him. Hahah... That's why, I believe if somebody is you other half, she will always be yours no matter where you go or what you do.

Wish you all the best in your future, and remember that Life is always difficult, sometimes you need to tell yourself that life is simple, so that you dont' think so much and just focus on pursuing your dreams. ^_^

SINGLE LIFE
Well... I'm pretty much enjoying my single life. No more worries and headache. All I can say is, I'm confident that I do the right thing, because I have to, if I want to have a better life. I dont' want to think so much about relationship stuff, I just gonna drop it, and pursue my dreams.

I will take care of myself, I mean really take care of myself. It's not selfish. this is just something that I have to do, because I don't really take care of myself in the past. So... gonna change myself for the better.

FRIENDS
Misses my friends so much, don't know how they doing with their life right now. Misses all the laughter that we use to laugh together, and the things that we do together. Sigh... anyway, i'm looking forward to our date in future. Hahaha~~~~

Kaikor has been teman me all this while... ahha, he's nice guy, eventhough he always bully me, but at least I can feel of like having a real big brother. =p

Aunty also teman me, she's funny... and a good mother. Hahaha

Oklah~ I crap enough... one last thing... I'm just hoping that everyone will be happy, and I will be happy too, but then, don't forget me. Hahaha... sometimes I do scare being alone. =p

Bored

2006-06-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

Second day of first week ---> no class, can't believe lecturer fong fei kei again. Sigh...
Third day of first week ---> Today

Thanks god, there is a class, but then, sigh... the subjects that I took this semester are so Malaysian. Malaysian Studies, Malaysian Economy, Business Ethnics, Organisational Behaviour... and oh, I forgot, I took French. That is the only subject that are not-so-Malaysian. =p

Today, I suppose to have 7 hours classes but I only have 4 hours for this week. Spend most of hour in drama. The drama that I'm watching now is called The 7th Grade. It's a Taiwanese Drama. It's very nice school life story. Gosh, I miss my school life. How we used to hang out after school in Science Lab to paint our Science Mural. I miss those days. Miss my friends.

hm... football fever still very hot out there! wish to watch it but watch alone feel kinda lonely. So... watch drama instead, read a bit of notes then back to drama. =p

Sigh... I'm so not in the mood... better stop here. 88

UPDATES

2006-06-20T12:05:00.000+08:00

Friday, 16 June 2006
My actual result released . . . two word, NOT GOOD

Today is also my last day of working, to my surprise I got RM250 allowance for 2 week working. *peace

Saturday, 17 June 2006
My younger brother 19th Birthday Party celebrated in advance.
Here are some of the pictures during the nite...
<---Me & Lanie, I look tall in this picture, hahahahah . . . <---taken outside our house <---my bro & his friends, the one wearing black <---Me, Mrs. Saw, Lanie & Mrs. Goh, <--- Birthday Boy acting like bodyguard of 3 Mrs LOL <---Me with my Philippino Friends <---T's geng
<---From the right, Dad, Mr. Saw, Mr. Goh, Mr.Lim and Mr. Lawyer (forgotten his name ^_^" )
<---My Sister with her Boy Friend. ^^ ain't there cute?

Sunday, 18 June 2006
Back to Malacca

Monday, 19 June 2006
Worst first day of my life... Went to class and found out my lecturer wanted to shift the lecture time while it is the best time of the week. I can't imagine what will be like if it shifted to Friday afternoon. I tell you, I'll scream. Class finished early, so I went to buy my lunch, then go walk back home and found out I was locked outside my house. I waited for almost 1 hour. Sigh. . . Thanks to Ryan and Amanda for finding Amy's handphone no.. Then later that afternoon, I'm went to my 4pm French Class, waited there for 1/2 hour and the lecturer haven't come. So, I walked back home again, and on my way back, I was stop by a mentally ill man, I suppose, I freaked out and walkaway really fast. Zoom~~~~~~~ I have no idea what that person want, I just got scared and wanted to get away from there as soon as possible. Hm... now think back, I should ask nicely what he want, maybe he need help or something, but I got scared and I just walkaway. Sigh.. am I doing the right thing?

It's a weird start for this semester as I was alone, my closest one if not went for practical training, they graduated. Everything feel very weird and quiet. Guess I miss them. ^_^"

Oh well, there's no choice, this is life. . .

At home...

2006-06-12T21:23:00.000+08:00

I just finished my reflexology section, 2 minutes ago. First time trying my dad's reflexology machine. ^_^" It's not my thing, I never want to do it again coz it makes my leg itchy. =p

Yesterday we spent most of my time cleaning my stuff. Throw a lot of stuff that I've kept in years. I need to find space to put in a study table. I looked back all the stuff that my first x gave me, I still kept it in a box. All those unpost letters that I've written, all the gift that he gave me. =p all those stuff tells a different story. I don't want to tell those story, it will make you sleep. Previously, I kept coz I sayang to throw, but now, it doesn't really matter, it is all in the past. Memories is still in my mine and it never fade. Me and my first X are still very close friends. Talking about him, he's not in a very condition right now. He's jobless, his family has problems, and I don't know how to help him, coz he's not really want to tell me the whole story. So... can't do anything. Later that night, we went to Victory Station in Subang to have our dinner. ^^ It was nice~~~ we ate Shark Fin with Abalone Soup, 1 dozen of Oysters, Garlic Bread and Fish and Chips. ^^ Very nice~~~~ dad spent about RM400+ for that dinner, and oh! we sempat to dapao 2 pcs of Chocolate cakey. ^^ It's very delicious.

So this morning, I was dragged to office again. Working as biller this time. LoL. I work at different different position everyday. It's bored and not bored at the same time. I don't know how to describe, but then, everyday is the same thing... same routine. Go work, after work, eat, rest, and sleep. Sometimes, I really wish that once I come out from U and start working permanently, I will have take some times for dance classes, aerobic classes, piano classes or something like that. Once in a while, spent some times with friends in a club. It would really make life more fun. Then, during weekend, going for Archery or Bowling or Swimming or hangout at some club, or shop shop shopping. =p Really looking forward to it.

But that's for future, right now... I just have to go through University life. My last year is going to be a tough one. 7 Subjects for next semester. *God Bless Me

Result releasing this week~~~ wish good luck to everyone and me...

Bro's birthday party this saturday night... ^^ time to get some boost~~~!

(Sigh... ~_~ tomorrow another day to go through, it might be the worst day of the week, I can feel it)

2nd week

2006-06-10T23:37:00.000+08:00

2nd week of holiday, I spent most of my time in office. I dont' know whether i'm lucky or bad luck. Our accountant runaway and left with mess. Sigh... I can't do anything to help out coz they changed the system and I had no idea on how to run it and plus I almost forgot my accounting knowledge.

Anyway, I just help out whatever I can help. I don't expect any allowance from the work. I just help out. Another way to keep my away from thinking things that I'm not suppose to think of.

So everyday, when I woke up in the morning, I convince myself not to think too much, let's go work and learn something in the office.

Aik, gtg... bro came back.. can't use pc d...

this is my life in my hometown...

Saying Goodbye

2006-06-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

I spent a week with my friends who you can say my most closest friend since the day I came to MMU. Lay Fen, YeanFern, and Ling Wei. Lay Fen and Yean Fern know them since alpha. They are my groupmate. After this semester, they are going for practical training for 8 months. Ling Wei graduating, so its gonna be a very very long time to meet in future. Gonna miss them a lot.

During the week I was talking about just now, we done almost everything together, we went for Archery in one of the cafe in Malacca Raya, if i'm not mistaken, then we went bowling. We travel to Gunung Ledang, one of the Legendary place in Malaysia ^^ but this time, without Yean Fern coz she's not allow to go there. So, only 3 of us. We climb the hill to the water fall. It was very tiring but then its worth it coz at the end, we reached at a very beautiful waterfall. Very cold and icy water. It was fun. Then, we climb down the hill, we went for cycling around the area. haha... it was ok. Besides not having a larger compound to cycling, we did have some fun and a little bit enjoyment of cycling with friends right there. So yes, I have fun. At night, we went for karaoke. hahaha... open to public karaoke. Haha... it was nice. hhaha... Then we went back to our room, continue with Choy tai Dee. Sigh... I lose alot, but then its ok. We just play for fun.

The next day, we went to Muar for food. We ate Muar famous Otak2. In case u dont know, its somekind like bbq fish meat and its not really a otak or brain. LOL. After that, we reach for our mission which is to accompany Lay fen to take her Identity Card, in Pagoh.

We went back to Malacca during evening, came back, feeling tired but happy... Lay Fen is left the next morning while Ling Wei left on Sunday.

It is sad to think that I'm gonna spend most of time by myself. Well, all these while, they are always there for me.

Another person I would like to wish luck to, the person is Ivan. Wish you good luck in whatever you do. Living in foreign country is not easy, it takes times to fit in their community. Their culture will be different, their thinking will be different and their lifestyle will be different but I'm confident that you will do very well in it. Afterall, you are Ivan right? :p

There's another person I would like to wish luck to too, Ryan and Amanda. First time experiencing working life. Life is tough, working life would be very bored and stressful, but don't give up. You will experience the same thing after you graduate, the only different is when you work after graduate, you are expected to know everything. So, take this opportunity to learn everything you need to learn. I believe both of you will do it very very very well, coz you both are smart people. So good luck.

While for me, what can I do? life isn't easy. I just have to continue my life, coz time never stop. Everyone has their life to live, I can't stop anyone from achieving their goal of life. So, I will always support them and so am I. So... Goodbye my dear FRIENDS. Never ever forget me. That's all I'm asking.

Don't wanna waste another Chance

2006-05-23T00:12:00.000+08:00

Long time didn't update my bloggy already, miss me... lol. Just kidding... =p

Supposedly, I don't have anytime to post anything, why? coz IT'S EXAM WEEK and I'M FREAKING TENSION ABOUT IT. Why am I freaking out? that's because I am not being a good girl this semester. Despite all the personal stuff has been affected my life, I am completely lost in my study eventhough I try and try and try to forget everything. After the 4th paper this afternoon, I feel so terrible and so upset coz I just wasted another chance to achieve my goal. Sigh... I came back and try to control myself, I clean up my messy desk, reaching for my notes for the next subject. I put it in front of me and I look at it. There was a long silent pause ... then I told myself "NEVER WASTE ANOTHER CHANCE AGAIN".

Then I went out for dinner with Lay Fen and Ling Wei, I thought want to eat Bah Kut Teh, (eventhough Malacca bah kut teh is nothing compare to Klang, I just want to eat it) but it seems like, the god doesn't want to grant my tiny wish, but its ok. I'm not dying to eat it anyway. Both of my good friend here are really nice to me and everytime they make me laugh and whenever I'm not happy, when I look at them, I will be happy coz why? coz they are happy all the time. They don't have this silly thought like mine. They just smile and laugh... I feel easy around them. So, I decide to treat them for dinner.

Come to think that by this Sunday, most of my friends are going graduating, some are going for 8 month training. Lay Fen is moving out, Ling Wei is moving back either, my life will change after that. I don't want to think how is going to change. What I know is, I must push myself to study and graduate well.

I'm very angry because my mission for this semester are likely to fail because of my own hand. Nobody is influencing me, nobody is affecting me, and nobody is threating me... it is just me. I know where the problem lies and I'm not going to leave it like that. I got a lot to learned.

Anyway, I better catch up with my studies and go through this "freaking tension" week of mine.

Fate

2006-05-11T00:35:00.000+08:00

Fate, what is fate? It is like everyone said, it is careful plan that was planned by god, or it is just pure luck?

One day, I gambled to myself, I told myself that I will let go of my crazy feelings. I will let go if, I DON'T bump into one person in that place. I chose NOT TO bump into that person is because obviously, it have a little chance of meeting that person, coz I hope I will not meet that person. It is like betting on white pebbles when 4 out of 5 of it is black. I let fate decide what I am going to do.

So, I waited and look around, hoping and not hoping to meet that person. After a while, there's no sight of that person and I begin to know the answer but, just when I wanted to make my final decision, I actually met that person.

In that moment, I asked myself, Is this my fate? or it is just a pure mere luck. It is very confusing, especially when it comes to complicated relationships and love matters. When it is about relationships, do you follow ur mind or your heart? or both? How can we use both? but what if it is still not clear, can we let "fate" decide? can we trust fate?

Top 3 favourite old songs

2006-05-10T00:57:00.000+08:00

Tonight, for some reason, I feel like listening to oldies, songs that I use to listen since I was a baby. Miss my dad, coz he use to play these songs using his guitar. It was so cool, nice and classical.

My all time favourite, Bee Gees's Emotions. Love this song, use to sing karaoke since 6 or 7 years old. Very nice song... and meaningful.

It's over and done,
but the headache lives on inside,
and who you're clinging to,
instead of me, tonight

and where are you now,
now that I need you,
tears on my pillow,
where ever you go,
I'll cry me a river
that's leads to your ocean
you'll never see me fall apart

In the words of a broken heart
it´s just emotions, that's taking me over,
caught up in a sorrow, lost in my soul
but if you don´t come back,
come home to me darling,
don´t you know there´s nobody
left in this world to hold me tight,
there´s nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight,
goodnight

I´m there, at your side,
a part of all the things you are,
but you have a part of someone else,
you gotta go find your shining star.

Other favourite songs, include Bangles's Eternal Flame. Love this song very very much, used to sing in dad's car, repeat over and over again. I was 3 - 5 years, can't remember...

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling...
can you feel my heart beating...
do you understand? do you feel the same?
am I only dreaming

Is this burning? an eternal flame

I believe its meant to be, darling...
watched you when you're sleeping...
you belong with me... do you feel the same?
Am I only dreaming

Or is this burning and eternal flame

Say my name, sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely
Then come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling,

close your eyes, give me your hand
do you feel my heart beating?
do you understand? do you feel the same?
Am I only dreaming? or is this burning and eternal flame~

Another favourite song of my, Yesterday Once More by The Carpenters. Love this song.

When I was young
I'd listen to the radio
Waiting for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile

Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well

Every Sha-la-la-la, Every Wo-wo-wo
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they started to sing
So fine

When they get to the part
Where he's breakin' her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more

That's my top three favourite songs, song that are so meaningful and so easy listening. Love it so much...

Report of the day

2006-05-06T23:49:00.000+08:00

6.30am - Woke Up
7.15am - Fetched by Oi Leng
7.20am - Reached Malacca Central
7.30am - left Malacca Central

sleep on the bus and dont' know what time, reached Pudu around 9 something. Had our breakfast, I ate Lou Si Fan, don't what you called that in English. It's really nice opening meal of the day. Haha. Then we walked to BB Plaza and start shopping. I bought, 1 formal pants, 1 jeans pants, 1 short pants, 1 top and 1 pair of bra. =p Spent about RM185 for all these items excluded food and travel fare.

Ate Big plate of Pasta at Seed Cafe, its nice and delicious. My friends all ate Chicken chops, it's nice too. Highly recommended.

After our lunch, we went to Isetan, Lot10. There's a lot of people in KL like usual, lot of fashion you can see. Haha. Pretty girls, handsome guys, you can see the different between Malacca city and KL city. LOL.

We took taxi back to Pudu bus station. I tell you, dont know when they have this rules where, more than 2 person in a taxi, they will charge you 20cents for each person. ~___~" this is the first time, I heard it. Anyway, we just pay.

We took 6.30pm bus back to Malacca and we reached Malacca around 8 something. We went to Malim Food Court for dinner, we ate homemade 'Lo Mee'. It's very nice~~~~ probably the second best Lo Mee I ever eat after my dad's Lo Mee. haha...

While eating dinner, it was raining heavy, well it is still raining until now actually. We came back here around 11pm, I'm feeling tired and cold coz took cold shower. Eyes very blur~~~~

Tomorrow we will going to MP with Ling Wei, my housemate. Shopping and Bowling. LOL. She's graduating this semester. T___T So... we must spend more time together coz after this, it will have very very very very less chance to be together in future.

So we must appreciate the time together. ^^

Anyway... need to get some rest, Goodnite again... lolx

Can a guy changed to be devilish because failure in relationship?

2006-05-05T23:07:00.000+08:00

This morning I woke up, I was kinda excited, coz I was eager to know if there is any response to lyrics, lol, because, I know someone will be sensitive about it and misunderstood about it. Well, for some of you, you are correct, it was refering to my dear friends, who are going to graduate or going for practical training beginning of next month. I wont' be seeing them for a very long time.

Friends that I was refering to, include my roomate, my housemateS, eventhough one of them will be still here, but he will be working. I was trying to be romantic and write like every other lyrics, but it seems work out that way.. hahah, it was stupid one. lol.

Someone is wondering, why am I feeling in love and not at the same time and i'm in love and not in love with who. I wish I never had said that, coz it doesn't make any sense to me now coz, I don't know what love is. It is just a feeling. You know, unexplainable feelings and sometimes unexplainable things made you feel stupid. That's why I don't want to talk about it, or think about it, or cry about it and how and why do I have to cry when there's nothing to cry about right? well. I have this thing that, when I think of something, I tend to overthink it, then, I become emotional, then I'll say and do stupid things. Now, I'm doing it. @_@ Anyway, don't want to talk about it. Case closed.

While I was chit chatting with Yean Fern, I was suddenly being called a bitch, slut, desperate betrayals by someone via online. ~_~" I don't want to care about it... coz why, I was being judged, for what? left my xbf, being a single again, take care of myself, dress up better and get to know more friends? It is not that I'm sleeping around with guys, and it is not that I'm breaking up, dressing up just to impress guys. I want to live a better life, my family will be happy if I'm happy. He can be happy too, if he look at a brighter side. Sometimes I'm wondering, can a failure in relationship change a person well-being? to become evil? It is normal?

Anyway, I have to sleep early tonight coz I got a bus to catch at 7am tomorrow. We will have a girl friends shopping day tomorrow at KL. So, nitez.

Emo day

2006-05-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

Erm... let's refresh what I did today...

Woke up, late 5 min for class... did my quiz, luckily I didn't waste my time reading my online notes. Nvm.
So, erm... nothing much actually.

erm.. oh ya, went to check my eyes today. Sigh... my power has gone up. So sad... I couldn't wear contact lenses. T___T and I was advised to drink more carrot. T__T So depressing...

Mood not good, something keeps bothering it feel like being in love and not being in love at the same time. Anyway, I don't wanna think about it, headache about it, worry about it or cry about it. It only make me feel stupid. I believe, time will decide it all. All I want to do now is to focus on my family, and my studies.

Listening to Chris FM... hahaha, he advise me a lot and teach me alot. Somemore translate few cantonese song to me which he say very meaningful and I found it meaningful as well especially in my condition, failure from love life. Anyway, thanks for ths song 夕阳无限好, its very nice song. Eventhough, don't know what it means. but thanks, next time explain to me, ya. lol. When you are free la.

Going to KL this saturday, shopping with roomy and frens, plan to buy few clothes to wear. I short of clothes. Sigh... wearing the same clothes over and over again. So... erm..

Called dad this evening, told him about room thing, my eye thing, medical check thing, holiday thing, exam thing, and everything else la. Feel a bit better, got someone to talk to. Dad ask to come back next Thu for Wesak Day. Thought I was skipping this year, but then I think think, I skipped last 3 years d. So, I think I need some spiritual needs in me. So, I'm going back next Thursday. Study at home then come back for E-com final.

Oklah... tomorrow 8am class. Last class for bmc.

Suddenly feel like composing lyrics, so this is version 1... lol, lame~~~~~ huh? Anyway, still working on it, ya.. hahahahaha...

After all the hard work,
you finally achieved the key,
to experience the next level of life,
you will leave this very spot,

It's a good thing that you leave,
...coz you will experience new life
It's a bad thing for me,
coz you will leave me,

but then, with your memory that
I kept inside of me,
and with your smile that
I kept reminding myself of you,
You will always be remembered

I might be left behind,
but I will keep running,
till I back in your arms again,

but then, with our memories that
you kept inside you
and with my voice that
kept reminding you,

I hope you will always remember me

Blur blur Day

2006-05-04T01:41:00.000+08:00

This morning I was very very very blur~~~~ I crossed the road without look at the cars. I almost stuck in the middle of the road, and there, I met my roomy. She scolded me, lol~~~ I'm still in the blur blur condition.

Then, I was suppose to go for class at lvl4 at FOSEE Block but I went to lvl4 at FBL Block. ~___~" but then, once I reach up there, I was like shit, wrong venue. Then, I decide not to go for that class. So, I went to meet my AA instead.

Mr.Tan is my AA, he's a very nice guy. Gave me present pulak.. lol, It's just a small paper clip. ^_^" Anyway,he evaluated me and, I get all 'good' for this trimester. lol. This time, the meeting was lasted about 20minutes. Better than last time, coz last time, I told all my mother story. This time no mother story, I decided to keep all personal stuff inside of me. Not good to tell to anyone. LOL

So, after meeting AA, met my brm groupmates and we have meeting. So... that's all about that. Then I have lunch meeting with Mr. Syukor to discussed about Mymmu stuff. Sigh... that time I was still in blur blur condition. Don't know what to talk, don't know what to say, everything was so blank. He belanja makan lunch and I forgotten to say 'Thank You'. T______T feel so bad.

Then, suppose to meet someone but cancelled. So, I walked back home, feeling very blur, so I take a long nap. What's funny at that time is that, my roomate joined my long nap. I sleep, she also sleep. LOL.

I woke up around 5 something... feeling hungry. So, I waiting for invitation to pasar malam from my roomate. So, we went to pasar malam. Planning to eat Assam Laksa, but then, all table occupied, so we got no choice but to find other food to eat. So... bought Lo Mai Kai. Don't know what its call in english. I know its Lo Mai Kai. That's all.

Oh ya, before, that, my HP problems from last week. It's mic spoiled and need to replace. So, I've replaced it, and I have to pay RM40. T__T

After that, eat my dinner, watch tv series, do my assignment, done my SPSS, done suppering, now blogging.

Tomorrow, got lot of things to do, first, need to do course registration then, need to do my quiz for bmc. After that, need to send in Tshirt Designs to Mr. Syukor. Then, going for eye check up, and ask for contact lenses. =p Then, pass SPSS report to Sharmini. Then, Study.

Right now, I have to say goodnight coz I start to blur again. @_@

What I Did Today

2006-05-03T02:10:00.000+08:00

What I did today...

I woke up 9.25 in the morning, feeling restless and I've got no idea why is that. I opened my eyes and lying there thinking what should I do today. Should I study? Should I do my laundry? I went brush my teeth, switch on my PC and open up buletin, Stars Online, NST online, MMLS, My bloggy and mymmu.net like what I do on every other morning.

There's nothing capture my attention today... and I was feeling hungry... so I went make myself a cup of Milos, then prepare for lunch. Ya, breakfast AND lunch. I cook myself spagetti + Sausage + Crabmeat. While doing there, I wash my shoes, my clothes, and my bedsheets, sweep the floors, throw the rubbish and clean up my messy study table. I went for shower then ate my lunch and listen to Shayne Ward.

After that, I watched few series of Sex and the City. That was when YF came over. She's here waiting for a class at latter time. She was reading chinese novel, and I continue my series. LF was there, watching Ocean Eleven, halfway through before she went to class.

and... I'm just, passing my time~~~ wasting my time actually... kinda miss my friends all of the sudden, so I send them testi. ^_^

after all that, it was then 5.30pm... you see, time passes so fast...

Went for dinner at a malay stall which situated at opposite our block. I'm broke, I left RM0 in my wallet. So, I had to borrow from LF and I thought I was going to atm after dinner but unfortunately, it was out of service. So, I guess, I have to broke until tomorrow.

Came back here... to my surprise, someone added me and I forgotten to ask for his name but then it's ok. He's from KL, working and look cute. That's all I can say.

Chatting with two Chris, one my dear net friend, and another one my dear old best friend. Chris One is a chinese christian and Chris Two is an Indian Christian. Both of them are wonderful.

Someone asked my why am I emotional today. The thing is I tried to control myself for not being such a fool who keeps playing guessing games. Frankly, I really don't know where I stand. I'm confused and frustrated but I guess there's nothing much I can do about it.

Anyway, need to put myself into bed... and keep all these crazy thought inside my head into my dreams world where there's the only place I can say or do anything.

Goodnite

Relaxing Moment

2006-05-01T23:35:00.000+08:00

I've just done my literature review for my group research paper. It is my last assignment for this semester, but then, right now, it haven't done yet. I'm still waiting for my leader for next instruction. soon~~~~~

Speaking of leader, I realized I haven't be a leader before in any assignment. That's strange. I should look for a

chances to be a leader once. It should be interesting. lol.

Anyway, 2 weeks from now, will be my final exams. Another excited and yet tensing wars. So far, I haven't study. :p ... but I will study pretty pretty soon~~~~~.

Someone told me, I've changed. I don't really feel that I've changed much. I know, I ate a lot lately, like 2 bowls of noodles for lunch... chicken chop rice for dinner and 6 pcs of bread for supper. I don't know why, I just feel like wanted to eat something. I haven't check my weight yet, haha, not really confident that it will increase any kilos coz my weight has always stay at 38kgs. Weird, huh?

These few days, I've been doing everything that I love to do - drawing, designing, playing games, watching tv series, movies, eating, and sleeping. ^_^" I watched Sex and the City, lol, its funny and kinda educating hahaha. Sometimes, it is wonderful to be alone and doing things that you love to do alone. After passing those times, I feel much relaxing and it helps me clear off my mind besides putting my emotion under control. You know, last week, I don't know what's get into me, I feel so emotional and sensitive to whatever that happen around me. Guess I'm stress out because of certain things.

Anyway, I better stop here, and starts preparing for tomorrow tutorial. ^_^"

Stress Management

2006-04-21T15:17:00.000+08:00

Once in a awhile all of us will experience stress. What is stress? Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has physical and emotional effects on us and can create positive or negative feelings"

When you experience stress, there will be positive and negative effects. Positive affects us in such a way that it encourage us to action. It also can be resulted a new awareness and maybe open our mind by looking into a new perspective. On the other hand, stress create negative affects such as the feeling of distrust, rejection, anger and depression, in which it will lead to problems such as headaches, upset stomach, rashies, insomnia, ulcers, high blood pressure, heart disease and stroke. Other sources stated that, stress can cause "moodiness, anxiety and difficulty concentrating,"
According to TVF website, since stress not only negative affects but also positive affects on us, therefore, we should not eliminate stress but learn how to manage it and how to use it to help us.

If we experience not enough stress it will make us feeling bored or rejected, while if you have excessive stress, you will feel being "tied up". What we need to do is to find out what is our level of stress. You can test it here.
[and my... outcome would be ...

You have high stress.
Take action now to reduce and manage your stress. Stabilize the amount of changes in your life and avoid unnecessary stress. Evaluate how you communicate, manage your commitments, and prioritize your time. Make stress-reducing lifestyle choices a priority: seek therapy or exercise.

Just like what I thought]

Some of the tips to relieving stress I found which include:
1. Exercise
2. Writing: Express yourself in writing (like what I did just now ~_~") can be effective way to reduce stress level.
3. Expressing your feelings: talking, laughing, crying and expressing anger (I did, and I feel better)
4. Doing something you enjoy: A hobby or healthy leisure activity or anything that can help you relax. (I did this too, I sing... )
5. Body-centered relaxation: breathing exercise, muscle relaxation exercises, massage, aromatheraphy, yoga and taichi, etc (erm... I just did the breathing exercise, it did help me relax)
6. Mindfulness activities: Self-hynopsis, medidation, listening to relaxing music (Did this too, listening to Winter of July by Sarah Mcbrightman)

Another way of reduce and avoid unnecessary stress...
1. Time management technique: Scheduling and priotizing your commitments can make you more productive and efficient
2. Effective coping strategies: Find ways of dealing with stress (like what I did now) and find ways to cope it.
3. Healthy Lifestyle choices: Balancing obligation, getting plenty of rest, eating well, not smoking, and limiting how much alcohol you drink (Well, i haven't drink alcohol for the 1 month now)
4. Support from friends and family: Social support network (Thanks to KaiKor ^^)
5. Changing ways of thinking: Stopping negative thinking that cause stress, working on problem solving, and learn how to communicate. (Still learning @_@, God Bless Me)

I told myself, I need to be strong, so~~~~~ need to be strong!!!!

Didn't make it to Trinite Party

2006-04-16T15:51:00.000+08:00

Sigh... because of some emergency stuff, I couldn't join yesterday appreciate party. Too bad. I went home town instead. Everyone said I'm crazy, went back home for 1 night. Its not even 24 hours. :p Anyway, I'm not crazy... there are reasons why I went back... which is because...

1. I got something to take, I need to bring my formal attire for presentation. Yes, I have others, but those two is in pink colour. I wear that almost every week. ~_~" It's time to change color.

2. I miss out Naruto and Bleach epi quite long... so went back and burn it out. ^^

3. It's time to go back, see see my daddy, my brother, and my cat. Miss them very much o~!

4. Show them my brand new IC, hahahaa.. just took at the day before.

5. Tips dad about my new target -> SONY ERICSSON W900i arrrrr~~~~~!!!! I really want that, it got Hp, MP3 player, 2MP Camera, Radio, 3G, Bluetooth, and many3 more, It's design is so cool, and its like All-in-One, my dream hp has come out~!!!!! This is the one that I've waitng for so so so long~!

"Tips Mission... failed" "Reason: Dad in sleeping mode" T___T Aihhhh~~~~~~

6. Miss my bedroom~~~~~ ahahaha...

7. Plan to da pao Bah Kut Teh for my beloved friends...

8. Complaint about my stupid printer, broke down at a very last minute... shit, why every cheap things will only last after 1 year of warranty? this is not the first time... sigh, first its my mp3 player, break down only after 1 year of warranty... then, my digicam, then now, my printer. Sigh~~~~~~

I came to a conclusion which is, I will never buy any cheap electronic stuff ~____~"

Oh ya~! The day before I went back, I had a Japanese Vegetarian Restaurant around here... the one Thomas recommended.

All of us ordered this, Don't know what they call it. It is some kind of leaves. It actually taste sweet. Yesss, its sweet.

Teriyaki Fish, which is not a fish ^_^" but it taste really nice~~~~~

Its Tofu, but don't know what they call it... nice also~~~

This one is a special type of soup with special type of mushroom, and Pak ko, it taste weird, but nice. ^^

They have Sushi, Udon, Soba and etc... ^^
So that's all la... 2 B Cont...

Trinite 2006

2006-04-07T21:17:00.000+08:00

Lol, sorry la guys, I've been busy and still busy...
You know, I got 2 assignment, 2 presentation, 1 midterms last week? ~__~"
Now I'm still have to work 2 more assignments before this Monday.
Next week, I got 2 more assignments, 2 more midterms...

So damn tension~~~~ so, you can see, I'm using rojak language here... hope you don't mind, ya. ^^"

Oklah... these are Trinite pictures... from frens one, I don't take much picture that night coz I'm not comfortable with my dress. Hhahahahaha.... and ar, I got no camera also, my frens all also don't know why, don't like to take pictures.

all black~~~ I hate the hair... the team hair actually overdo it. sigh... I like the make up but I hate how I look. Sigh... I got no other dress.

The stairs~~~~

Our foyers~! ^^ nice~~~~

Way to the entrance

The entrance

Take pic first hahaha... From left, *hide , forgotten her name *paiseh, Devi, Wendy & Amanda
*speechless

See, who is this?? ^^ Pretty girl? No... she's not just a pretty girl. She's Amber Chia. Beautiful! That night, she's the judge for our Best Dress competition, the lucky draw prize giver, and... part time mc... ahhahaha ^^ I tell u, she's so sweet.

and who's this?? hahaha the pic is quite dark... He's Daniel Lee. My god, in real life, he's much more cuter.. ahhaha. Malaysian 2nd Idol. ^^ That night, he sings 1 chinese song, can't remember what's the name of the title, Heaven Knows, Mimpi and... *jeng *jeng next pic~~~

Jaclyn Victor, our 1st Malaysian Idol~! yeah~! but ... sorrylah!, the pic kinda blur... you know, that night, when Daniel and Jaclyn performance. All those people went in front and took their pics, so crazy... lol. Oh ya, Jac sang Angels by Robbie William and Jessica Simpson, she sang another classic song, I can't remember of the name but that song is very nice... then, lastly, she sang Gemilang with Daniel. ^^ So nice~~~~~~ she's the best. ^^

All the handsome guys.. hahah ^^ can't really remember their names except Peak Boom, our Trinite Director and Kiam Seng. From left, they are the 3rd and 4th.

Reshmonu~~~~ yeah~! our mystery celebrities of the night. ^^ From left, dont' know who, Daniel, Jac, Reshmonu, Peak Boom, Yoong Mei, Don't Know, Callen, Don't Know...

All pretty girls and handsome guys~~~ Trinite 2006 commitees... can see where I'm standing? of cause cannot~~ coz I'm not there.. hahahaha~~~!!!! =p Went back already... I also dont' know why... hmmm... coz Amanda wanted to go back early, so I got no choice. erm.. nevermind..

That night was great, there's so many couples dancing, hugging... hahaha so romantic, I'm alone~~~ no partner, so kesian. This the first prom I went to, I love the atmosphere, I love live performances, I love dance floor, too bad, got no partner to dance, actually its not no partner la, is I don't want only. Never mind... there's always next time.

Oh ya, the food~~~~ was nice~ a buffet dinner. Eventhough, we took a long q but its ok. Nobody complaint, thanks god. So far, I heard alot of positive feedback from friends. Thanks god again. Work hard for months, finally achieve a good result.

I'm still collecting pictures... since I dont' have it, I have to wait for the others. So... just wait la. And oh, credits to Peak Boom for some of the wonderful pictures above.

And oh~~~~~~!!! we are having appreciation party on April 15th and 16th at At Farmosa, maybe go see bear bear again. YEAHHHH~!!! hahaha.... it will be great! Just a nice plan, before I start studying for finals.

That's all ~~~ got more pictures but not my naked pictures... ~___~"

To be continue

Misha Omar's Tiada lagi Tangisan

2006-03-29T11:38:00.000+08:00

Kini telah lama kita berpisah
Rintihan asmara kian berubah
Tiada lagi mengharap
Tiada lagi belai manjamu
Semua telah berakhir

Ketenangan hidup menyinariku
Keperitan cinta telerai sudah
Tabahkan hati luka nan berduri
Ku mengenali siapakah diriku yang

sebenarnya

Tiada lagi tangisan
Tiada lagi airmata
Membasahi jiwa luka
Yang tinggal hanya memori duka

Semuanya diduga
Pertemuan kali ini
Tak akan berkekalan
Berakhirlah istana bahagia

Biarkan daku hidup keseoragn
Tak perlu lagi cinta yang menghiris luka
Titisan airmata kini kekeringan
Tak perlu menabur kasihmu

Ketenangan hidup menyinariku
Keperitan cinta

telerai sudah
Tabahkan hati luka nan berduriKu

mengenali siapakah diriku yang sebenarnya
ooooh...

Dan kini tertutup jendela harapan
Kau yang menanti ke pangkuan aku
Semua takdir yang telah ku temu
Dan ku bina segalanya tanpa mu

Sushi Dinner

2006-03-28T16:52:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, went JJ shop for Sushi ingredient. It was Ling Wei's Birthday, well actually it was on Sunday but we make it on Saturday because 2 of us having exam on Monday so... Sunday is fully occupied.

Went there by taxi, cost about RM2 per person. Then, we went lunch at Windmill, ate Nasi Pattaya + Salad + Green Lemon Tea (taste like liquid antibiotic). Then, went buy some groceries, and etc....

Then waited about 1/2 hour for a bus back home, cost about RM0.70? if i'm not mistaken.

So... reached home... feeling very sleepy all day long, coz the other night I didn't have a goodnight sleep. So... erm, sleepy... whole day but didn't take any nap. So, continue with my designing.

the outcome~~~

^_^" *trinite spoiler pulak, 1 enough

Here's more pic~~~~ tells it all... I'm not feeling well to type... >.<

Ling Wei's Birthday cake - Tiramisu~

^^ cut cake, cut cake~!

Study for exam ~_~"

Sigh... that's all la~~~~
Today... its a very bad day for me. So, end here.

Another day...

2006-03-25T00:52:00.000+08:00

When I woke up this morning, it was 11am... ok, I missed the morning class again... damn. So went clean up my room plus doing my duty for this week, sweeping and mopping. After all the sweepin & moppin, I continued with my Trinite stuff. Sigh... still haven't done and because of that, I missed so many studies hours. Sigh... I miss my books. I'm so weird~

Then, Lance came over to discuss about mymmu stuff. Haha, he was friendly, and nice to talk to, and also he turn out to be completely different person from who I'm expecting. Its a good thing. haha... anyway, nice to know him. ^^

Then, ... doing Trinite stuff again...

Around 8pm, went to U-Center for Mymmu.net makan meeting. Met all the people that I never seen before but heard before. haha... all nice smart people. Mr.Syukor is a very nice person. Saw Darkfrozenhell, Felming, the other two can't remember their name, and oh, Xpacno is a very outspoken person. There are few more, I can't remember their name. Sigh... I'm so terrible.

Sigh... the whole time, I was keeping quiet, I did very bad... a lot of things I wanted to say but other people have said it. They talked a lot of technical stuff which I have no idea, but then, its ok. I learn from them. Sigh... dunno when I can tahan to be a leader. I have not experience, my communication skill so bad, my mind so slow, no technical skills, & I'm blur. Sigh... I'm a failure.

Really am a failure~

Never mind, I'll learn and practise more and more. I'll try to find way to improve myself. Hopefully, I can find the way.

They discussed a lot of stuff... I'm lazy to post it up. If you wanna know, visit http://www.mymmu.net =p

You know, I don't know what is love anymore... I really can't feel it in anyway... what is that mean? I just feel pain and hurts everytime thinking to feel to love a person and maybe love is about feelings, but I don't feel anything. Sigh... you guys tell me, what love is...

Recently, I listen to this song...
Vanessa William & Brian Mcknight - Love is
the lyric goes like this...

They say it's a river
That circles the earth
A beam of light shining
To the edge of the universe

It conquers all
It changes everything
They say it's a blessing
They say it's a gift
They say it's a miracle
And I believe that it is

It conquers all

But it's a mystery
Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And it fades away so easily

In this world we've created
In this place that we live
From the blink of an eye, babe
The darkness sets in

Love lights the world
And lights the lovers for eternity
Love breaks the chains
Love aches for everyone of us
Love takes the tears and pain
And it turns it into the beauty that remains

Look at this place
It was paradise, but now it's dying
I'll pray for love

I'll take my chances that it's not too late

Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And it fades away so easily, oh...
Love breaks the chains
Love aches for everyone of us
Love takes the tears and the pain
And it turns it into the beauty that remains
Mmm...mmm...mmm...

So, Love can give you happiness and it give you pain, but still I don't know what is love means?

What I did today...

2006-03-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I'm not feeling well, know why? coz someone feed me chocolate cake, and I'm so greedy went to eat it without considering that my body resistance to caffeine. ~_~ so habis lo, yesterday. In the house only, can't even go out coz I feel dizzy and plus the weather was~~~ so damn hot. Arg... so at home, doing my designing again. Thought I was going to complete it yesterday night but unfortunately, my house current had been shut off because of thunder. So, went to sleep~~~~~ this time I sleep so damn nice. *maybe its the "calming" lotion I'm using. So, I sleep about 10 hours. Yet feel so weak, maybe because *erm *erm :p

So today, I'm trying to finish my Trinite stuff. My body still feel weak tho, having headache, bodyache, and my feet~~~~ sigh. Yesterday I accidently cut my feet till blood. >.<

Just 5 minutes walk to MMU, and there will be a food court and makan shops opened.It is a Fully Furnished unit with 21" TV, Water Heater,Washing Machine,Fridge,Dining Table,Sofa set,Stove,Curtains Provided ( New )cost RM 600,Lightings ( New ) RM 1500 and new beds, bathroom set with mirror,study table and computer tables.It has a very good FENG-SHUI....It has a high security door lock and the area is monitored by CCTV. The owner also provide Fixed Line telephone and thearea has Gym, Swimming Pool and a Mini library and its all for FREE..u can see the Mini Condo by calling me at 012-5641715 (Ramesh @Terrance Ng)THE RENTAL IS ONLY RM 190* per person ( For twin sharing )* the faster the better..only have time till 25 OF MARCH 2006.

So, I called to make an appointment to see the room. So... we went there around 5.30pm.

What a beautiful Landscape! First, I like the colors of the building. I like the swimming pool and all.

Went to the room, the location is the best, but too bad, the room is too small for two of us. The view is awesome. The furniture are new, its cooling, its just feel so luxury if you live there. Lay Fen and I think that its kinda far for us, walkers but then, its 5 to 10 min walk. Sigh~~ I feel like wanna move next sem, its a lot easier to find rooms or houses now coz lots of students are graduating this year but then, Ryan don't let me move and I don't know what will happen to him when I move out, and another thing is... economy now not stable, if I move to another place like University Green, I don't whether I'll burden my dad. Sigh, since I need him to finance me for 1 more year. Sigh...

Anyway, I'm still busy with Trinite stuff, There are 1 2 3 4 stuff to do and I've finished 2 stuff, so 50% complete. I've done Mymmu T-Shirt. Em, still need to edit that one coz not all people will like the same thing, right. So... its 95% complete. E commerce 0% complete T_T

Just want to say something

2006-03-21T19:54:00.000+08:00

Feel so stress, It's been a long time since I have this stressful period. There's a lot of things in my head and I can't sleep this few days.

I'm still thinking how to make myself to speak up. Sigh... I still can't break my own weaknesses. Whatever I say doesn't reflect what I think and it always end up misunderstand by people. Usually, I can keep to myself 24 hours without talking. I'm too used to it. Now, I'm having problem communicating with people. My mind is not working.

Its like what I experienced during last week toastmaster. I was given a topic, "Pig Farms should be cease for environmental reason". During that time, I talked, but then, my points are not properly arranged, and I only given two points. Luckily I finish on time but I was nervous, my sentences is too messy or should I say, not fluent. After I made my conclusion, then all my ideas, my points, my sentence all in my mind, but I just could say it out.

What should I do? How to improve? sigh...

I'm not feeling well today, partly because I couldn't last two nights. Partly, because of the weather, its hot and suddenly went cold. The wound under my feet still haven't recover, feel pain everytime I walk. Don't know whether I can make it to Trinite.

T's birthday coming soon, can't go back home, coz of assignments due. Sigh... miss my home, miss my family, and miss my friend.

The other day, Yvonne called me. I was surprised that she called coz we never contact for about 1/2 years already. Miss her so much, she's my best friend during secondary school. She's happily married and with a baby boy. I'm happy for her. I dont 'know what to say, I just miss her so much.

These few days, me and Ryan still talking and laughing. Sometimes I feel that, its a waste to let go a relationship that we have build for so long. Maybe I'll give him another chance, but will I get hurt again? sigh... that is something I should build-in myself. I'm talking about trust and confident. I need more time to seek and build. Sigh... don't know what i'm talking...

haha... I think I should start doing my things now. There's still a lot of unfinish business. So, to be continued....

Busy Week

2006-03-19T23:42:00.000+08:00

Things to do...

March20,MON
1. Register company brand for BMK3074
2. Collect my Diary
3. Meet Ashwin for BEL assignment to clarify something
4. Meet Azlina for BRM assignment for updates
5. Meet Vimala for BSM assignment to ask for next meeting
6. Meet Ms.Lim Consultation
7. Class from 8-12pm, library 1-3 [Study BEL], Class 3-6
8. Do BBL tutorial
9. Do BEL tutorial
10. Planning & Organizing Trinite Programme Book

March 21,TUES
1. Class 12-1, Library 1-2, Class 2-5
2. BSM assignment - Read Sun Tzu Art of War
3. BRM assignment
4. BEL assignment
5. Trinite Programme Book - Page & Layout design
6. Trinite Participant Programme Book
7. Trinite Backstage Tag

March 22,WEDS
1. Class 10-2, Library 2-5, Class 5-6
2. Consult BBL lecturer on assignment
3. BSM assignment
4. BEL assignment
5. BRM assignment
6. Trinite Programme Book - Compilation
7. Trinite Participant Programme Book - Compilation
8. Study BEL

March 23,THURS
1. Class 12-1,
2. MyMMU Tshirt Design
3. BSM assignment
4. BEL assignment
5. BRM assignment
6. BBL assignment
7. Study BEL, Study BBL

March 24, FRI
1. Class 8-10,
2. BSM assignment
3. BEL assignment
4. BRM assignment
5. BBL assignment
6. Study BEL, Study BMK
7. MyMMU Management Team 2nd Meeting

March 25, SAT
1. Study BEL, STUDY BMK, STUDY BBL
2. BSM assignment
3. BEL assignment
4. BRM assignment
5. BBL assignment
6. Jusco - Shopping
7. Help make Sushi Dinner
8. Ling Wei's Birthday Dinner

March 26, SUN
1. STUDY BEL

March 27, MON
1. BEL exam

Wish me good luck ^^

Le Roi Soleil's Tant Qu'on Reve Encore

2006-03-14T17:19:00.000+08:00

Like this song, but don't know what language is that. Spanish? Russia? or France? Any Idea??

LE ROI SOLEIL - TANT QU'ON REVE ENCORE
THE SUN KING - AS LONG AS ONE STILL DREAM

Il était une fois
c'est comme ça qu'une histoire commence.
On a tous en mémoire
un reste au fond de soit, d'enfance.
On part pour la vie
sans la choisir vraiment

Tant qu'on rêve encore
que nos yeux s'étonnent encore
rien n'est perdu.
Tant qu'on rêve encore
que jamais personne s'endorme ne rêve plus.
Jamais plus

On va de l'avant
dans la cours des plus grands,
faire face.
Sans défier les géants
trouver au premier rang, une place.
On remplit sa vie
parce qu'on oublie qu'elle passe

Tant qu'on rêve encore
Que nos yeux s'étonnent encore rien est perdu.
Tant qu'on rêve encore
Que jamais personne s'endorme et ne rêve plus.
Jamais plus.

Il était une fois
tout commence comme ça.
On prend son histoire
la vie comme elle va
avec ses erreurs
ses manques et ses lois
Pour croire le bonheur
souvent loin de soit
Alors qu'elle bat
qu'il est toujours là, en soit.

Tant qu'on rêve encore
que nos yeux s'étonnent encore rien est perdu.
Tant qu'on rêve encore
que jamais personne s'endorme et ne rêve plus.
{x2}

Jamais plus

He was once
it is as that which a history begins.
There are all in memory
a remainder at the bottom of is, of childhood.
One leaves for the life
without really choosing it

As long as one still dreams
that our eyes are still astonished
nothing is lost.
As long as one still dreams
that never nobody falls asleep does not dream any more.
Never more

One goes from the front one
in the course of largest,
to face.
Without defying the giants
to find in the forefront, a place.
His life is filled
because it is forgotten that it passes

As long as one still dreams
That our eyes are still astonished anything is lost.
As long as one still dreams
That never nobody falls asleep and does not dream any more.
Never more.

It was once
all starts like that.
His history is taken
life as it goes
with its errors
its lacks and its laws
To believe happiness
often far from is
Whereas it beats
that it is always there, is.

As long as one still dreams
that our eyes are still astonished anything is lost.
As long as one still dreams
that never nobody falls asleep and does not dream any more.
{x2}

Never more

Sarah Brightman's Winter In July

2006-03-13T13:11:00.000+08:00

Look around wounder why
We can live a life that's never satisfied
Lonely hearts troubled minds
Loking for a way that we can never find
Many roads are ahead of us
With choices to be made
But life's just one of the games we play
There is no special way
Make the best of what's given you
Everything will come in time
Why deny yourself
Don't just let life pass you by
Like winter in July

Future dreams can never last
When you find yourself still living in the past
Keep moving on to higher ground
Looking for the way you thought could not be found
We may not know the reason why
We're born into this world
Where a man only lives to die
His story left untold
Make the best of what's given you
Everything will come in time
Why deny yourself
Don't just let life pass you by
Like winter in July

And we may not know the reason why
We're born into this world
Where a man only live to die
And his story left untold
So make the best of what's given you
Everything will come in time
Why deny yourself
Don't just let life pass you by
Like winter in July

Recent Pic

2006-03-12T20:10:00.000+08:00

Been very busy recently, I have two report to past up this week, plus 1 presentation. ~_~ Really busy busy busy~~~~
Anyway, busy as it is, I still have time to take a snap myself... hahahaah

How do I look? kekeke

These few day weather is so hot... I bath at least 3 times a day. ~_~ Sigh Malaysia Weather ne~

Sigh... nothing to talk about... what's on my mind now is ICE. What I need now is Ice Ice Ice~! I'm melting soon ne~ afterall, I'm still snowgirl, can't survive during summer... hahaha.

Oklah~~~ that's all for today's crapz.

Wallpaper

2006-03-10T14:09:00.000+08:00

Want to avoid from being a sleeping pig. So, I did another wallpaper. hahaha... so this is how my desktop looks like.

Still alive

2006-03-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

God, I'm so damn tired... and I'm crapping again coz I'm too lazy to find sources to update my blog... haha

I've decided to stay here for one more semester. The reason is because
1. Too many furnitures to shift
2. No other suitable place to stay
3. I can't shift alone

And another thing, Someone already rent the other rooms. So finding housemates is not a problem anymore.

Then... Ryan has been quite himself but still kinda attached to me, but that's ok. We give both of us time. Just let the time decide what will happen in future.

On the other hand, I've been very stupid to let myself fall into the hole eventhough I've already know that there is a hole and it will be very damn hurt when if I really fall into it but what can I do? I fell, and its really hurt and painful.

If somebody's heart is not mine, it will never be mine no matter how much I want them to be mine or even if I owned their bodies, their souls and hearts won't be mine.

Giving Ryan a second chance is definitely out of question for the moment. I dropped in a really big deep hole and I'm trying to save myself out of it. I need to see the world, the reality which are full of options and choices of life that can be made. I'm trying to make a different and adjust my life according to what I wish for. Initially, I try to walk the path that what other people choose, but I dont' want that to happen to me again. I dont' want to walk in anyone shadow. I wish for my own path by deciding my own destiny.

It might not be fair for Ryan, coz its never been fair to him either. I am the one to blame for all the things that happen. I'm being too blur, too naive, too emotional, too fool for not able to express whatever I want to say. That's why, I need time to clear things out whatever that happen between me and Ryan.

I cried last night, can't sleep till 6am. I've been listening to Miguel Vera Nais Ko, and Ariel Rivera Narito Ako till I sleep. The song is so sad and it suit my emotion at that time. I was so down yesterday...

Yesterday presentation was Ok for me, I'm the worst presenter in my group but at least I can talk, it just a bit nervous, maybe because its been a long time I did my last public speaking. Sigh... I feel so down because everyone is better than me. No matter physically or mentally, everyone at my age now is better than me. Damn... its really painful to know the fact when you are trying so hard to improve yourself and its not even hit the bottom line.

I felt so down yesterday, and yet I heard another thingS that hurt me so so so damn much and it makes me feel even worst.

There's lots of girls out there are a lot better than me, physically and mentally. It's so normal for a girl to be chase by 5 or 6 or even 14 guys while me? no matter how near I am, people won't even look at me. Why? I wish to know why... one thing for sure, I'm not attractive, and what else? tell me? I'm under 16? ~__~ For god sake, I'm older than my look, ok? sigh... I should be happy coz know why? when people get old, I won't look old. =p

on the other hand, I feel one product packaging must be attractive as well, if not, no people will want to buy if packaging look like shit, right?
Sigh... human nature.

Another thing that make me confuse, I dont' know whether to feel bad about it or feel good about it. Somebody say I'm a princess in my family. I feel bad, coz I'm no longer family's princess. There nobody will satisfy all my needs and nobody will listen to me and take care of me like I used to, but then, I feel better coz I realized I grew up. Growing up its not a nice thing to play actually. Like what older people always wish, they wish they never grow up when they are grown up.

Sigh... all these things made mine self esteem even lower eventhough its already low, but then, I'll bring myself up again. I didn't blame the person who told me all these but I thanked him for telling me and I apologize about coldness towards him and Ryan. It was all just emotions that taking me over.

Anyway...

I'm still alive.

What a dream

2006-03-04T16:40:00.000+08:00

There was a girl went to a spooky school where lot of chinese doing this ritual thing to chase away ghost. So, there was this girl who was asked to go to a place ... which she don't know where and what kind of place is that and she went in. There's was this ugly guy who suddenly appear scare out of her and she ran... running and running,...then suddenly she saw one guy.

That guy is hers love one, because I can feel that from her eyes, she looked relief and happy to see that guy. So. this guy brought her to a train and in the train, there was his family, also doing this ritual thing but it is somewhat different from the ritual that she seen just now and this girl doesn't know what the hell is she doing and she don't have any idea of what happened in the train... so she did whatever she was asked to do. Then suddenly, there was blood sprayed on her face and what shocking is there was a girl came out, out of nowhere, and appear in front of her.

...then suddenly this girl sat beside the guy... and they was a chemistry related activities happen between them la. then... the guy n the girl were holding hands... then suddenly the guy's relative came into the train... saw both of them holding hand then ask the guy whether the girl is his gf.. and the guy say no, he then said that, he was engaged to get marry.

The girl, suddenly said, she need to go... then she was crying and she went to the door and jump down while the train is stil moving

she suicided...

The End I woke up...

Quick update

2006-03-03T01:14:00.000+08:00

Trinite Roadshow this week, went well~~
there was a Free Hairdo for all, me and Amanda went to do hairdo, just for fun. haha we paid Rm15 to do makeup plus phototaking.

How do I look? Sigh... look so... terrible. eh? @_@

There isn't much time for me to blog coz its 1.35am now and I have 8am class, so...
after this, won't be able to online for two days. You know why? coz I'm going back home~! hahhah....

You might say, chiu~ go back 2 days nia ma~~ but u knw or not, I can imagine that when I reach home, I will feel 100000x lighter, and able to fly coz i'm free and safely back home to meet my dearest sister, my naughty brother, my cute aunty, my hero daddy, my chatter Lani, my companion Lizzie, and my soft soft and large bed~!

I need some break from all the problems that I'm facing now. Sigh... Wanna runaway~~~ but cannot la... couldn't be so irresponsibility ma, right?
Want to meet Wase, feel he got problems, his family called me to ask about him. So I really want to meet him to make sure he's alright. He still my friend afterall, right. Nothing gonna happen, and hey Zen, if you read this. DON'T THINK TOO MUCH~! DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH, & HE WON'T BULLY ME. OK?

Sigh... Zen sometimes thinking too much. There are so many things that I didn't think, he thought I think. Sigh... relax~~~~~~

Oklah... now 1.53am, gtg sleep now.

To be Continued

Trip to A Farmosa

2006-02-26T12:52:00.000+08:00

I've never been so happy in my entire life. I spend the whole day and night with my girl friends. We went to A Farmosa Animal World, Water World at Alor Gajah. We rent a car which cost of RM60 for 16 hours.

We woke up around 6am to prepare our lunchies. We made 2 box of sandwiches and brought few cans of 100plus and mineral waters. It's a lot of fun doing things together, you know. So, Ling Wei did all the vegetables cutting, Lay Fen did all the fying while I do all the mixing and cutting breads.

Then around 7.30, we went collect the car, Ling Wei was the driver, and we left Bukit Beruang around 7.45am to 8am.

We reach A Formosa around 9am, so we decided to visit the Animal World first, we paid RM58 each which include Waterworld + Animal World + Set Lunch.

So the first thing we did, we ride on a TRUCK STATION, here a bit few pictures taken during the ride. Although picture quality kinda low...

Then we move on to the ELEPHANT SHOWS

Then we went to CHICKEN FARM which is where I saw cute cute chicks

After that, we walk through the WALK THRU AREA

We then, watched the MULTI ANIMAL SHOW but too bad, my camera went crazy after that, so didn't took any picture from there.

After that, we took a boat to the Monkey Island. It's not big like what we expected actually and not much monkeys too.

Camera went totally crazy after that, unable to take any pictures in WaterWorld. However, luckily, Lay Fen's camera still available. So till I get the pictures from her, I'll try upload. ^.^

Eventhough, there wasn't many things to play, but we enjoy the family ride, the 7th Floor body slide, Tube Ride and the children playground, hahahahaha. Nice~!!!
We check-in around 4pm then we check-out around 7pm.

Then, we passed by Cowboy Town, just pass by. Hahah... we didn't went it because the entrance fees is not that worth it. Hahaha... RM35 per entrance and it is like two things to enjoy, so, we don't wanna waste our time while spending so much. That is the time where everything start to went wrong. Erm... eventually, we hit a car went we "gostan" while we were going out the car park. +_+ luckily, it just few scratches on both cars. We were horrified.

So, we decided to go Jonker Walk. We ate near Tofu-cafe, where we had our spicy dinner. Arrr~~~! I'm so char, couldn't finish the whole bowl of laksa. Then we ate our desserts, I ate To hua, my favourite. ^.^

Then, we went for a walk at Jonker Street, we were so tired, but we just don't wanna go back so early. hahah... it around 8pm something. So... we just walk and walk. We met Jane there. hahaha... so coincidence.

After a long walk, we went to Tesco, ate our 2nd round dessert. I had a Chocolate-Banana cake. *Peace~~~ It was so delicious~~~~~ I feel that I hadn't ate such a delicious cake since very long long time. Erm.. maybe I don't have a birthday cake this year. =.="

So, we went back to Bukit Beruang after that. We reached home around 12am. We pack our things, and change our clothes. We then, send the car back to the owner and explain what happened. Thanks goodness, the owners doesn't care about it much coz its few scratches. However, we insist on paying extra for the rent. It was actually RM50 because, there was 50% petrol left and... we send back the car just in time. So, we paid RM60 for compensation.

So, after that, we walk back home, brush our teeth, straight went to bed. Zzzzz....

That's all

M.Y.M.P

2006-02-24T15:50:00.000+08:00

M.Y.M.P also stands for Make Your Momma Proud is one of the top bands in Philippines who brought in their soulful renditions of their all time favorites tracks that certainly will enlighten you for good acoustic music.

M.Y.M.P was a 4 piece all guy rock band which later on turned to a show band and to a trio which is when they have their debut album, "Soulful Acoustic" which carried a People's Choice "Favorite Song's Award in Awit Awards" last 2004 in Philippines. Besides that, their cover version of Bob Marley's "Waiting in Vain" and Sting’s "Every Little Thing" made a hitz in Philippines's radio and video channels despite the abundance of classic song in the market, their version still capable of attracting people’s attention. I personally love all of their songs, one of my favourite "Tell me Where it Hurts". Despite Juris's soulful voice in bringing the song, the songs possessed a wonderful meaning of love. They release two albums, Beyond Acoustic and Soulful Acoustic, which were recently declared Certified Gold Record.

Now, M.Y.M.P is a duo band, with lead vocal, Julie Iris V.Fernandes or Juris, is a Psychology degree graduate is said to be audible and high quality and honesty in every performance, while Chin, guitarist and a Communication Art graduates, makes them sounds incredible. Their diversify genre consists of R&B and Pop and blue-based rock such Eric Clapton’s kind of music.

They certain had made their momma proud by achieving such a accomplishment in industry of music. Believe me, you will fall in love with it once you have listen to their musics. Hope they will earn themself an International recognition and to be famous all over the world. So, check them out~!

Versions
True Colors
Especially for you
No Ordinary Love
Constantly
The Closer I get to you
Whenever, Wherever, Whatever
For all of my life
Eternal Flame
Say You Love Me
Beauty and Madness
Love moves In Mysterious Ways
At Your Best (you are loved)

Beyond Acoustic
Get Me
Tell me Where it Hurts
Kailan
Magical Feeling
Sa Kanya
Jam
When I dream
Would you be my Girlfriend
Talaga nman
Rush
Fast Car
Ginoo, Walay Sukod

Soulful Acoustic
A Little Bit
Tibok Ng Puso
Could Be Wrong
Miss You
Sakay
Dream Without You
Torpe Song
Awit Ng Saya
Paalam na
Waiting in Vain

Source
http://www.tunogmymp.com/index.htm
http://www.mymp.tk/
http://www.mympband.com/index.html

Before I fall in Love

2006-02-16T12:49:00.000+08:00

My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel
Cuz, my hearts been fooled before
Am I just seeing what I want to see
or is it true could you really be

Someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul
I need to know before I fall in love
someone who'll stay around
through all my up's and down's
Please tell me now before I fall in love

I'm at the point of no return
So afraid of getting burned
but I wanna take a chance
Oh, please give me a reason to believe
say you're the one
that you'll always be

It's been so hard for me
to give my heart away
but I'd give my everything
Just to hear you say

Someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul
I need to know before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
through all my up's and down's
Please tell me now before I fall in love
Before I fall in love

New Life

2006-01-24T09:53:00.000+08:00

Today, I woke up early, in fact the earliest this year-6.30am. I woke up... waiting to send my sister to school. It really bring back old time when I was her age, wake up at 6am, having milo as breakfast, waiting for bus at 6.45am.

After sending my sis to school, we came back waiting for dad to go for breakfast. Before that, we went to wet market then we went to nearby Kopitiam to drink tea and chicken rice. I feel so sleepy now... guess I still not too use to wake up so early.

Yesterday night, I have decided to start a new life from today onwards. Because of someone, that he make me realize that I could make a different if I want it to be different and only if I want to. It always starts from ourselves. What make you move forward? Motivation to make you success...
For me... It's love.

Susan...
You made mistakes, a lot of mistakes... you tortured yourself way too long. You need to wake up and accept whatever that has been done.Please try to make yourself happy, try to be selfish for once. Don't worry about other things... It's time to make a different.

Love moves in mysterious way, its a waste of time to think how it work. Just listen to your heart.

Came Back from Ipoh

2006-01-22T22:36:00.000+08:00

I just came back from Ipoh-Ryan's hometown. Well, from first day I went there, I was not feeling well, I feel headache and bodyache all the time. I was mentally, emotionally and physically effected throughout my stay at his house. I even knocked myself till I had to paste one ugly plaster at my foot. =.="All this makes me kept to myself all the time. I was veryy quiet.... While Ryan was not feeling well either, I guess. At least I know that, he's kinda unhappy because I had to go back early before his birthday which is tomorrow. 23 01 2006

There isn't much I could do for him, cause he said that, he's used not to celebrate his birthday and receiving gift. I wanted to buy something for him but... he doesn't want anything. I feel bad, but what to do. I had to go back early. Well, I hope he understand. =.="

I didn't get to taste all Ipoh food, like I said, we aren't feeling well, so we stay at home most of the time and most of the time, its kinda bored but luckily, there are 3 rabbits that accompany me. They don't have a name, and they just call them Bit, short form of rabbit.

There's a piano, but, I don't have my music sheet. So, I can't play or practise at all, eventhough I wish so hard that the thing appears in front of me.

Most of the time, I online using Handphone, chatting with friends... there is one friend, we kinda contact everyday. Its kinda weird and I'm happy. ^^

This few days, I feel weird and act weird. It doesn't like myself. I don't know why. I miss my PC, I really miss my PC, all my songs.... argg... (well, I'm using my old laptop right now which is now belong to my brother's). Lucky, now we streamyx at home, hahaha, so happy. I get back my mp3 player from my stepmom and now I'm downloading songs...

Anyway... Tomorrow is Ryan's birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY O!

Pictures Pictures

2006-01-18T03:32:00.000+08:00

Yeah~~! I so genius, finally I managed to transfer my picture from my handphone to my pc without using Memory card reader. Hahah... I used my unless 2.0mp digital camera to transfer the file using USB cable.

My first DIY product lo.. haha, one is for Amanda's birthday, another one is for my baby sister. hehe...

First time in my whole life that I see our house experiencing flood. >.<

Thought of sending to character drawing competition but I actually missed the due date. >.< (kek sei ngo>

My birthday treats... RM50+ Pizza and beers... =p

Crazy d... posing pula...

Haha Yean Fern and Lay Fen during our dinner at MP japanese restaurant, forgotten its name d.. hahaha

Right now, I should be in Ipoh for few days, won't be blogging for few days, aih,.. gonna miss my pc o~~

Happy Holiday mmu-ians~! & Happy Chinese New Year to all chinese~!

Regrets that stay forever

2006-01-17T04:57:00.000+08:00

I remembered the first time when he talked to me, he is the only one I remembered during the time when I was isolated in a place that I was unfamiliar with. He asked for my name. I told him, ... he said, "You're cute". From that time, I followed him whenever he go. He used to hold my hands to walk. He introduce me to his family even to his dog which I love so much. Once in a while, there will be note in my desk. A note which said, "I Love You".

That time, I was too young to understand the words, but I feel happy to read it because 'he' wrote it to me. However, things turn ugly years after that, we no longer talk or smile to each other. There was misunderstand happen but I never had the courage to tell him that it wasn't what I want to happen and hope he will forgive me, but its too late, he never talk to me again after that.

Everytime I see him, I feel my heart beat pumped so fast that I couldn't even control myself. That time, I wanted to runaway from him, but then, my heart felt so pain that I shed tears every single night because I lost a very very best friend. A kind, loving and caring friend that I love so much and because of my cowardness that I actually killed the friendship.

As years goes by, there's a boy that taken my heart away. He was once a great enemy to me and I hate him so much that I doesn't want to meet everyday but ... I met him every day, day and night... whatever I do, there will be something from his mouth that hurts me.

He, ... likes to report to me who's my admirer is which is something that I don't want to know and it makes me hate him so much. Then, I started to feel something else in his eyes when he looked at me. Something that makes me feel that he's angry and he walked away. He will blushed everytime he look at me and secretly look at me when I chat with my girls friend. He changed, he ... doesn't tease as often as he use too,

His changes make me have unexpectable feelings for him. I missed his voices, his happy hyper active energy, his face.

Too young to understand, I was in deep confusion of my own feelings that keeps me away from getting closer to him eventhough I wish to know him more and care for him. He lost his mother, just like me, I understand his feeling but yet, I only can look at him from afar, dream of him when I sleep and even named my favourite teddy by his name. I secretly and crazily feel in love with him. He is the one that take my heart away from the first time I saw his eyes.

I know his one of those trouble makers, everyone hates him, but I know deep inside him, there's one kind, caring and loving heart and I understand.

You know what, I couldn't confess to him eventhough the very last minutes we've been together. I regret that I let go of the relationship. Something that I never work hard to achieve it and yet runaway from it especially love. He is the one that I hate and the one that I love so much.

Both of them... are still in my mind eventhough how much I try to forget them but they keep appearing in my dreams. I understand that, no matter how much I blamed myself for not expressing the feelings. I wish I could express my feelings to them... I know ... it will never change anything. At last, it is just my regrets, that stay forever.

Yui - Life

2006-01-12T20:55:00.001+08:00

rrrThis morning, I received a call from my stepmom, and my dad's SMS, wishing me Happy Belated Birthday. ^.^ I'm happy.. eventhough its 2 day late, at least they remember.

Today... I cook spagetti again.. the same as yesterday... the only different is, today I add mushroom. =D hehe... taste nice~

Besides that, erm... what I did... sign up Neo pets. hehehee
Tobie

Kawaii ne~~ ^.^

I finally found the song I want - Yui's Life which is from Bleach 5th Ending soundtrack

YUI - LIFE

Doro darake yo najime nai tokai de
Onaji you ni warae nai utsumuite aruita no
Isogi ashi de surechigau hito-tachi
“Yume wa kanai mashita ka?”
ATASHI mada MOGAite iru
In the city I'm not used to that's full of dirt,
I can't laugh the same and I walked with my head down
People pass by in a quick pace
I ask "has their dreams come true?" But I'm still struggling

Kodomo no goro ni modoru yori mo
Ima wo umaku ikite mitai yo
Kowagari wa umare tsuki
I want to try living in the present
rather than returning to my childhood
It's my nature to be a coward

Hi no atari basho ni dete
Ryoute wo hirogete mita nara
Ano sora koete yukeru ka na?
Nante omottanda
If I go to a sunny spot and stretch my arms out,
I wonder if I can go beyond the sky
that's what I thought

Tobitatsu tame no tsubasa
Sore wa mada mie nai
KANTAN ni ika nai ikite kara yukeru
The wings I use to fly away are still invisible
It's because it's not simple that I can go on living

Nureta koinu hiroi ageta dakede
Chotto warae chau hodo
Namida ga koborete kita
Aisaretai aisaretai bakari
ATASHI itte ita yo ne
Motomeru dake ja dame ne
I just picked up a wet puppy
and for a while, I laughed so much that tears spilled
"I want to be loved, I just want to be loved"
is what I said. It's no good just to ask for it

Kodomo no goro wa MAMA no koto
Hidoku kizutsuketa
Hi mo atta yo ne kawari tai
Ima zenbu
When I was a child, there were days when I hurt my mom badly
I want to change everything

Hi no ataru basho ni dete
Kono te wo tsuyoku nigitte mitai
Ano basho ano toki wo kowashite
I can change my life
I went to a sunny spot and tried holding your hand tightly
I will destroy that place, that time so I can change my life

Demo kokoro no naka subete wo
Totemo tsutae kire nai
KANTAN ni ika nai kara
Ikiteyukeru
But I really can't express everything that's in my heart
It's because it's not simple that I can go on living

Hi no ataru basho ni dete
Chizu wo hirogete miru kedo
I know... You know...
Mayoi michi mo shikata nai
I can change my life
I went to a sunny spot and spread out my map, but
I know... You know... that even the path of doubts can't be helped
I can change my life

Sugite kita hibi zenbu de
Ima no atashi nanda yo
KANTAN ni ika nai kara
Ikite yukeru
All the days that have passed make up the me that's here now
It's because it's not simple that I can go on living

For the translation, credit goes to this site http://www.corichan.com/lyrics/yui.html#life

She's not only pretty, she has a very sweet voice and talented. If I'm not mistaken, this song was self composed by her. Cool, huh? For download, look for the link at upper right of this page.
Support Original ya~~ =p

Nothing better to do...

2006-01-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night (10.01.2006) couldn't sleep, not feeling happy yet I don't know what make me so unhappy eventhough I try to be happy. So, I went to 7 Eleven and brought 3 600ml beer and come back.

I'm so 'cha' (useless) because I only manage to finish 1 and 1/2 bottles and Ryan drank 1/2 bottle. Maybe because I was drinking alone after Ryan finish his third glass, and my roomate also went to sleep and what left is me drinking in darkness. LOL and one other reason is Carlsberg really taste worst than ever. Have you taste sweet beer? ~.~

So... I slept around 4 something, then woke up around 6 something, 6.6 I guess... Then, went to bed again.

When I woke up, its already afternoon 3pm. So, went to wash and all... cook my own recipe of spagetti ~ Butter garlic spagetti. Hehe, nice~~ but its too little. ~.~ so, after 2 hour, went to pasar malam with Lay Fen, brought Rojak, Ryan's Oyster and Cincau Soya. Came back, watch 2 episode of Express Boy~damn funny. hehehe... you must watch.

Then, ... went to take a nap =p woke up around 11 something.

Sigh... today, beside eating, cleaning my laundry, wash the dishes, there's nothing else I do. What a waste, huh?

Oh ya, discussed with Ryan on our plan for holiday~~~~~ yeah!
the result -> going back to Klang on Monday, going to Ipoh the next day, then... dunno what to do the next few days, come back to Klang on Saturday. @_@
Suddenly feel like eating Ipoh food. 6.6 dunno why, feel hungry eventhough I just ate not long ago. Hungry~~

*looking for food...

To be continued...

22nd Birthday

2006-01-10T21:02:00.000+08:00

Few hours from now, first day of my 22nd years will over. Am I happy? well, I don't know... I feel happy yet I feel unhappy. So I really don't really don't know how I feel. Anyway, thanks to Ivan, Han Wei, Lay Fen, Shahzlan, Lee, Amurthavalle, Peiti, Jessie and Ryan for wishing me happy birthday. Thanks a lot. I'm really happy eventhough its just a wish.

Well, my family forgotten... but luckily my cute brother still remember and wish me.

Feel a bit dissappointed... my mom didn't call, don't know what is she thinking. didn't see her for couple of years know. I don't want to visit her but then, I have to, coz she still my mom.

Today is one special day, I woke up, do my laundry, then found out I forgotten to open up the hole for the outlet. By the time, I know, its too late, I mess up the whole kitchen, so I have to do the "sweep and mop" duty. Then, I took a icy cold shower...
After that, call up pizza deliver, ... order Meal Combo 2 for four person and Chicken wings. Around 6, we take dinner, then suddenly weird things happen, suddenly short circuit, but dont' know which part.

That is when I found out that Ivan staying the same area as I staying here. lol

Sigh... I feel like drink beer or whisky to make myself drunk. This year no birthday cake. This is the first time happen to me.

How I wish I could have a birthday that someone can drive me out somewhere beautiful have dinner, party or something. Something that people can do for me, but I guess. Its useless. huh? everything have to come from myself.
I guess... as we grow up, people around us will slowly slowly dissappear, at the end. There will be only you.

...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUSAN.

Right Here Waiting

2006-01-09T21:38:00.000+08:00

3 hours from now, I'm officially older one year...

This new blog version is a present for myself, designed everything in 1 night, eventhough there some error somewhere, but anyway, I'm happy with it.

I already got I gift from Lay Fen and Yean Fen, they bought me a headphone. ^.^ Thank you very much.

Haha... Han Wei is the first to wish me, thank a lot.

I guess, this year birthday, not much people will remember, eventhough I wish everyone will remember. Anyway, its not a big deal right? 6.6 I don't feel happy, nor feeling sad, it happen everytime when it comes to this date. Wish to get myself together and dont' take it seriously. Afterall, it just a birthday, an increase in number that all.

I loves all my friends, but I don't know how they really feel about me. What about you?

Anyway, I hope my family will remember this day, the day I was born to the world. I would love to hear from my mom wishing me Happy Birthday or even call me. Last year, there's not sound from her. Hope this year, She will remember and I will wait for her call. Right here... waiting.

Month of celebration?

2006-01-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

First few days of 2006 is just like every other day, besides, getting busy with designing stuff for Trinite, which is a beginning for to improve my social skills and getting serious about business stuff. Anyway, I'm grateful to have the chance. lol, what am I talking about? OOT already, duh~!

Ok, This is month is "The Month of Celebration" you would agree with me on this. Yes, besides New Year day, Chinese New Year, and Hari Raya Haji, 4 of us including closest friends "He" and ME marked our Birthdays. And.. also, my anniversary.

Anyway, 1st January 2006 is our 3rd anniversary and it is also new year day.Hehehe... We love each other very very very much eventhough we didn't went to watch cinema, or eat expensive at luxury restaurant, instead, we just called up Pizza Hut delivery for dinner. Hehe... I feel contented already because "he" really cares and love me very very very much. I'm happy to be with him. ^.^ Wish him good luck on your assignments and exams~!

Then 2nd January 2006, is our friend, Yean Fern's Birthday... We didn't celebrate together this because of some "reason". We will get to that later.

On the 10th January 2006, jeng~!jeng~! is my birthday. Ya, and this is what I talking about, and it is also Hari Raya Haji, and also, its on exam week. People a busy either studying or going for holiday. We don't have the time to celebrate. Not this year. ... ... ... T-T You do understand my feelings, don't you? T-T don't you? T-T

ok, next, 19th January 2006, is my dear roomy, lay fen's birthday. Too bad its during holiday. She will be at her hometown by that time.

Then on 23th January 2006 is "his" birthday... ^.^ *hint *hint

Lastly is Chinese New Year Day~! fall on the 28th of January, time to gether around with family. Take angpao *yeak *yeak wear new dress~~ heeh...

But...

I haven't buy anything yet. T_T I wonder if the economic is slowing down recently. I have the feeling that people are running out of cash nowdays. Price of goods starts to boost up, even school fees are up, just today newspaper, not sure whether i'm right or not. Hopefully, whatever I feel is not right.

That's why I understand that, life is getting difficult everyday as we grow up. However, I keep telling myself to look at the positive side and live with it, then I would be happier.

Anyway, I hope for digi camera this year, but I don't think I'll get it. Just have to work harder, study harder and to become a useful person to earn more money.

Happy Happy Happy

New Year ~ 2006

2006-01-01T02:13:00.000+08:00

Yeah~! New Year has come~~~~ year 2006. I'm so happy, There's a lot of hope for this year. A new chapter to begin with new life.

What past is already a past, but it will stay with me as memory. Let me refresh what I have done throughout year 2005.

Em...
let me see...

2005
First, having the greatest birthday party for my 21st birthday, that is when all my friends came just to celebrate my birthday. There is the most unforgettable memory.
Celebrated 3 person birthday party at my house, hehehe, it was fun.
Still struggling with studies throughout the year, but I'll work hard
IB Event <- my first experience as organizing commitee, having great time, met new friends, learn new lesson and gain new knowledge. Achieved Grade 1 in Piano lesson, yeah~! it was great but I still need a piano. Found my MOM, Yes~~! Bought a new Gaming PC, yeah~!Played SIm2 yeah~! again Bought PS2, but my bro playing more than me ~.~ Went to Emina Event at Cyberjaya, went to visit PT, and Kevy's condo. Met a nice Academic Advisor Made few DiY stuff toys Joined Trinite Designing Division Joined GACC Promotion Division Bought The Da Vinci Code there's a lot more, I can't remember.. =.="

Here's what I hope for 2006,

High Achievement for academic, aim to get dean list
Discipline myself to live a healthy life, sleep early wake up early, drink more water, and etc...
Brush up communication skills, designing skills, music skills, Japanese Language,
Meet my mother,
Get a job, work to earn more money to help Dad
Get a Digital Camera
Get a Keyboard or a Piano Get a Car
Change appearance~image
Travel around Malaysia - Kelantan, Terengganu, Perlis, Pahang, Johor, Sabah & Sarawak
World Peace, free of natural disaster, free of war, free of corruption, free of Inflation, Free of Criminal
Family healthy, wealthy and happiness
Hoping my brother get a job to help family
Join singing competition =p hehe,

that's a lot of hope for this year, ya... hahahaha... But, if there only hopes but no work, then the hopes will be just hope, so we must GAMBATE~! work hard! Let's gambate together~~!!!

I take this opportunity, to ask for forgiveness, if I do or say anything that hurts you. Sometimes, I don't realized that I've said or hurt anyone. So, if I do, I hope you will forgive me. I hope to all my friends & family will forgive me for whatever I did that makes you all worry. I will be strong to face difficulties that comes along the way.

Gomeinasai, sorry~ & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006~!

Unforgettable Xmas Eve

2005-12-27T21:13:00.000+08:00

I just came back from hometown today, it was so unlucky since I went back the other day. At first, I thought everything will be alright, after buying all my family xmas present, but it seems that the worst is yet to come.

Taking the bus scheduled to leave at 3pm but it left at 15 minutes late. So, its fine for me. I was seated beside a Indian girl who wearing killing red blouse and she was dark skinned and she has very long, black, iron-straighted hair. So, its kinda unusual for me to see people dressing like that especially during travelling and on bus particularly.

Beside the slow~ movement of the bus, it was raining that day, there's so many cars everywhere. Going to celebrate xmas holiday, I suppose. Sigh, too bad I have to leave that late for xmas.

So, I was very bored at that time since I haven't get back my mp3 player from T. So, I just listening to the buzzing sound malay radio channel on air at that time. So, I was particularly heard that "there is a terrible traffic jam at Senawang" which at that time, I thought it must be at KL which is not. I am sure about this when suddenly, we was stucked at the middle of a TERRIBLE traffic jams in the middle of the highway and when I saw the signboard beside the roadside, written there" Perhentian SENAWANG". I was like... shit!

and there it goes, stuck there about 30 minutes, and while we are moving very very very slowly, I saw about 5 or 6 cars broke down and I guess, their engine must be overheated. There's two car accident, and one of them involve taxi which smash into area at the middle of road, and the other one, which I not sure what or who involve coz it was at my blind spot.

So that why, the it jammed so long, because of those people, who I guessed must be speeding, or fall asleep or forgotten to check the vehicle before they take off. Sigh... That's is one of Malaysia main problem, high rate road accident.

At that time, even the bus is moving, the whole highway, was full of cars. We can only move at usual pace after an hour. Sigh... luckily it was raining day. I rather be in the bus while its cold weather rather than hot weather. I would be crazy especially seated beside a girl who keep calling her mom and complain about the traffic jams, and what worst, she talk to herself along the way. =.=" Well, I just pretend I don't hear anything. I just seat still and relax.

So, everything ok after that, so I was relieved, relax abit, then you know what happen suddenly, the girl beside me, cried suddenly while talking to the phone. Since she talking in Tamil, I wasn't sure what was wrong with her. My guess is that, she must be quarrelling with her bf. =.=" again, the one nearest to us, looking at her, and sigh... why I was there, I was so stiff that I couldn't even rest my mind. +.+

I finally reached at Klang bus station around 7pm. As I predicted, late by 1 hour. T fetched me back home. Along the way, I saw so many cars on the road, it was heavily rain, I was abit dissappointed, its xmas eve, we couldn't go anywhere or else stuck in traffic jam. That is what I think at that time, but never know that the worst thing haven't appear.

When I was nearby my Taman, I saw that drains couldn't be seen anymore, it gone worst when we get nearer at our house. Everywhere around us was flooded. It was my first time in my 20 years that this areas was flooded. It was about 10inch deep, I suppose. It was a very terrible situation at that time, all the cars and motorcycle couldn't move because the road, the drain all covered up with water, its too difficult to differentiate whether that is a drain or that is the road. There is one car actually drove in the drain. Sigh, luckily our house was nearby and T was good when recognizing the road. So, we drove home safely. The only thing surprise me is that, our house was flooded too, but compare with other houses, our house consider the luckily on coz the base of our house has been renovated to be higher than usual level. But then, it still cannot escape the water from coming in, our kitchen floor was full with water. So, I spend my xmas eve cleaning up.

Sigh... what a xmas eve..

Christmas Wishes

2005-12-18T18:21:00.000+08:00

Xmas Day is around the corner. Eventhough, I'm not a christian but, we celebrate xmas every year. This day is where we went to church with my stepmom who is the only christian in our family. We joined the celebrate with her, like every other christian, we have christmas trees, we have christmas presents, we went to church... we make an open house on xmas eve. Last year christmas was not so lucky due to the devastating tsunami in asia. It mark 1 year on this 26th December after 1 year the disaster happened.

We will always remember the lives that we have lost, and the destruction that disaster has caused.

We should be grateful that we have live until today, we should do more good deeds for people around us. This year xmas, Wish to have a Joyful Xmas & Happy New Year.

Dedicated this song for all of you~! Merry X'mas

Simply post

2005-12-15T12:58:00.000+08:00

Sigh, I guess I just never change, always do the same wrong thing again. Time passes so fast that you couldn't even imagine.

I could see what will happen to me within next 3 or 4 months. Busy day, stressful work and studies, tiring routine and emotional unstable ME. What I could do now is to stay strong. Eventhough the mission for this semester failed completely. I'll try harder next semester.

Bollywood Experience ^_^"

2005-12-13T00:44:00.000+08:00

When I woke up this morning, the first thing on my mind is "what the hell"? you know why?
I had a dream yesterday, I was in a my house, but it doesn't look exactly like my house because the kitchen look something like mamak stall kitchen.

What happen is, I bring my sister to school, but end up, sending her to a place that looks like a swimming pool club, and what's weird is, its situated beside my kitchen. 6.6 I looked at her walking in through the gate, then, I went back the the kitchen to order some food which is kinda weird too coz I'm ordering food in my house kitchen. 6.6" and I dapao'ing =.="""

Then, what terrifying me is that, while I was waiting for the food, there was a man, look quite man, and handsome, but what funny is, he's look like a bollywood star. ^_^" So, that man from my back, holding my hand, and I could feel heart beat, and I feel like the first time, I hold hand with Ryan. The feelings so real, so warm and so passionate. Then, you know what happen, he suddenly take my hand and walk around me, and we were like dancing just like in the bollywood movie. >.<"

Then... I woke up. ^_^" weird huh?

Tiring Day

2005-12-11T00:25:00.000+08:00

I wake up 10am this morning to get ready to campus. Yes, I know today is Saturday, no class right? well, I was going together with Trinite Hicom to see the venue for our prom nite - Eq Hotel

I met a lot of new people, talented and strong people I believe. I learned a lot too from they way they talk and deal with outsider. Amanda is our design division director, so basically I just follow her around and gives some ideas on how to decorate the hall and so on. We leave Eq around 3pm, then we headed to MP to have our McDonald lunch. ^^ After that, we went back home.

Later that evening, we, me and Ryan went to Irelax for the E-Sport SiG Cybercafe gathering. ^^ We walked there, about 500m from our house. ^_^" Before we reach there, we were actually worry that nobody will show up for this gathering. So while we have our dinner near Irelax, we were discussing about why the response is so bad, and so on. Then, we start thinking about what E-Sport SIG going to do next. So, ... we just discussing and discussing until around 7.00pm to 8.00pm. We went in the cc and waited for 5 mins, then, luckily, 1 person came, at least one person but then, we were still worried about what are we going to do with 3 person in CC. Then, we're so surprised that Moses, Lawrence and Sin Lin came. So, 6 of us played DoTA 3 vs 3, then later, some teams came to invite us for a play. So we played 5 vs 5. ^^

Eventhough, the team I played defeat 2 times. ^_^" coz it was my first time playing DoTA and i'm still a bit blur by it. Overall, I'm happy and satisfied.

After that, we headed for supper. ^^ yeah~! yeah~! never been to supper with so many people. hehehe... i'm happy. After that, Sin Lin sent us back.

I'm tired, yet feeling very happy. ^^

Problems

2005-12-08T17:40:00.000+08:00

Sigh, I've been out of class for 2 weeks. All because of this stupid skin of mine. T_T
Right now, have 3 major problem....

PTPTN repayment + unsettle tuition fees
Poor class Attendance
Piano Fees
Bills

Sigh, most of my problems is money~ why our life depend on money too much. How am I going to find more money? Anyone Please help me??

I tried to escape from the problems for a while, so I decided to watch dramas and let the days pass. I finished watching 2 more dramas last week.

One -> Vampire III HK Series
Two -> Devil With Me Taiwanese Series

For me, Vampire III is kinda like fiction, mythologically kind of stories. What make this series special is that it have time travel element. You will see the ancient chinese style + modern western style. This series is the 3rd part of the whole series. Eventhough I've never watched the series before, I found it quite interesting to watch.

Devil With Me is a basically a love stories. A stories about a girl who accidently confessed to the wrong guy who are popular and rusker kind of fighter boy. They eventually, they fall in love with each and just about everything start to become prefect the situation begin to get worst when they find out that their parents are getting married and they are to become brother and sister. This series tells how they face their difficulty along the way.

After watching, the only one who has bad ending is me. I have to face the problem again but I guess no more running away. Must find solution, but what ler~~~~

Friends invited me to join Shaklee Direct sales agent which I don't really like but ... it gives good income too but then, I don't have much confident in it, I mean the products. I've never heard of it before. What should I do? my instinct told me not to join but my mind told me it won't hurt to join, I only have to pay RM65.

My dears friends~~~~ what do you think?

It's Time to Grow Up

2005-12-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

These few days, I've been watching dramas, and reading Buddha's teaching book. I learned that, a lot of thing happen in this world, occur because it is mend to happen due to changes in life. Life will change whether we like it or not. People will change, environment will change, everything will change.

Life is dramatic, rise and fall, sad and happiness, birth, sickness and death. I doesn't know how to put it, but what I feel is that, every people will go through a circle of life, but people struggle to search for contant happiness that are never be contant. They're the one who involve in corruption, raping, killing, stealing, bluffing and other crimes that hurt others. People can change, for better or worst, it is you who decide, once decided, never regret, and follow the path that you choose, I believe nobody wants to be bad guys. Even if there is people who chose to be bad guys, and hurts people and living things, means they are actually hurting themself. They will suffer the same pain and regret at the end.

That's why, at first, we must tell ourself that, don't expect or ask for anything more than what we have in our life right now. Be grateful and not greedy. Appreciate everything that are in front of your eyes. Tell yourself, "Don't demand, won't suffer".

This is what I've learned, I try to remind myself these basic yet difficult to commit things.

I want to make my parents happy, whether they are divorced, remarry or whatever. They are the one who brought me into these world. Eventhough some people told me, why we live a life, if it will someday end. I told them, because life is invisibly short, we will never know when we will go someday, that is why, we must appreciate every moment, every person, and every things that is in our life right now coz every single things give us a wonderful memory and silent happiness to us. Yes, it will end someday, living things will dies, people dies, so what? it is better to end up happily than to end up with sadness and regrets at the end, right?

Always tell myself, While we live, do good things, be positive, when things turn ugly, be strong, face it and move on. We must accept contant changes, and not contant happiness.

My parents wish to see me, one day become a good and successful human being. It is their wish. I will work hard and try to grant their wishes. I hope someday my brother and my sister know that respect, love and to make them happy is our responsibility. Parents make mistakes too, we must always ready to forgive them.

Hahaha...

Back to what I suppose to report today. I have accepted Amanda's invitation to join the Trinite design division committee. Hehe, thanks to Amanda for giving me this opportunity, eventhough I don't know what I can do or what I capable of especially in designing field. I once fantasized becoming a designer,well, I guess that is very long long long time ago but then, because of the desire to learn more things in life, I decided to take part. Well as you see, becoming an organizing commitee is not easy. You have to work, and suffer, but then, for me it is only a little suffering. To learn things is a good thing, gaining knowledge is a good thing, helping other is a good things, making other people happy is a good things. My little suffering and sacrifice will all worth it. ^_^

However, nobody knows what will happen tomorrow, that's why I always remind myself to be positive, kind and strong every day. I might fall someday, but I'm not afraid, coz I accept the fact that nothing is contant, life changes. Happiness will never last forever, sadness is part of life but it will never stay forever.

There is another news, I also join Emina GACC promotion division. I hope to learn more things and know more people. Trying to make people happy and make myself happy, even if it is for a while. ^_^

Hm, at the end, I can conclude that, If we desire something positive, we will receive something positive, if we desire something negative, we will receive something negative, either type of desire will cause suffering. Happiness is not something that is contant and so do sadness.

Hm, what if we desire positive turn out to be negative? hm... If you or I understand the these I've said, we will feel dissappointed, but we will accept the consequences or failure, and take it as a source of knowledge and experience. But if you dont' understand, you will only dissappointed, and sad. It might either lead you to two ways, the wrong ways and right ways.

Hahaha... I guess, I have to stop my stupid theory, if I still continue, I guess until tomorrow morning, I also can not finish.

Two Dramas in One Week

2005-11-29T16:34:00.000+08:00

I managed to watch two dramas in one week. Haha... I just finished it yesterday. =p

Xian Jian Qi Xia Zhuan

Its a very humorous, historical, romantical story casted by Hu Ge, Liu Yi Fei, An Yi Xuan, and many more.

More info -> http://www.spcnet.tv/forums/showthread.php?t=10892

Its in chinese characters, I don't know what it means but, at least give you the idea, what kind of a story it is. This story is actually made up from PC games. Well, Ryan said that, the dramas doesn't really reflect the real story from the games. Well, I never play that games cause I can't read chinese. T_T Anyway, its worth to watch.

Wang Zi Bian Qing Hua

Tian Yue and Jun Hao ^^

The main cast of Wang Zi Bian Qing Hua - Ming Dao, Joe Chen, Joyce, Sam Wang

http://www.spcnet.tv/forums/showthread.php?t=11787

Currently, my most favourite taiwanese dramas, besides the cute guys, the story is very damn funny, you can laugh from the beginning of the episode till the end. It was very funny. The main character, is Sen Jun Hao played by Ming Dao of 183 club, Yue Tian Yu by 7 Flowers's Joe ??? forgotten her name.

Anyway, this dramas is so touching, and its very very very very nice to watch. ^^
* MUST WATCH

Complication

2005-11-23T12:22:00.000+08:00

Sigh, these few week will have to stay at home, because I broke, and I owe peoples money too. It's so not like me, to owe people's money, but sigh...

It's ok, as long as I still have things to eat, I won't die that easily. *touch wood

After I came from Jap Class yesterday, I was so bored and sleepy, there is nothing else to do coz you know 1 subject for this semester and its like 2 hours, 3 days for 1 week. So, went to clean my laundry, too bad, the weather doesn't not permit me to clean the whole bunch of laundry. So, just a few and its still haven't dry till now.

So, while I was doing my laundry, as usual check buletin, friendster, email, blog, and download some songs.

After 3 or 4 hours, I started to feel ... empty again. So, I practiced my Hiragana writing till Ryan came back bring me for dinner at 6pm. We ate Roti Canai for dinner to save some money for these 2 weeks before our parents bank-in allowance for us. While we was eating, we have an argument. Sigh~ It was terrible, we both were arguing about guys become complicated because of girls's complication.

For me, I feel that both guys and girls feel complicate about each other, when there is misunderstanding + mysterious behaviour + wandering thought about each other. There is neither guys are more complicate than girls nor the other way around. It is just that, when guys could not understand what girls is thinking, they tend to face mysterious reaction or behaviour that usually makes them have this "wandering thought". Once they couldn't understand the reason why girls feel that way or act that way, they will say "girls are complicated" While on the other hand, girls will feel the same way and act the same way ask guys do, and they will say "guys are complicated".

You see, these thing happen when both of them are not acknowledge that they both are curious about each other. When one of them, started to get tired of puzzle solving, quarreling happen.

If there only, both of them not to think too much about each other's expectation and just be yourself. Confront them by telling them what you actually want and express it in a proper way so that they don't feel hurt. These things won't have happen.

Well, as you know, it is not easy to do, because the word "afraid" is still in our mind. Some people, afraid that the other person will get hurt or might think different about yourself and whatsoever, but, it is easier if you act like the way you want to, not the way he want to.

Even if there is times when you want like this but he don't like and want like that. Then, you both have to talk, confront each other, explain and change if there is something that satisfy both of you. Communication is very important between two people,if you try to hide something, that something will become a big issue in future. <--definitely became an issue now

I understand this concept very well but then, there are times when my mind are control by my emotion and not my mind, that usually make me act like a baby. That's really hurt Ryan, I know that, so I told him what I actually feel, and show him that I'm sorry, and you know what, at the same time, he knows he done a little bit too much of talking, and feel that, he being acting emotionally, and he knows his wrong for eating all my kuih kapek. At the end, he make up to me, and we happy.

Everyone is complicated if you believe its complicated and feel complicated. Its just a matter of understanding, if you understand and believe that its easy and not as complicated as you think, then it won't be complicated. Believe in yourself and feel for yourself. Sometimes its because of the other people's complication, it becomes our complication.

Don't believe in anything, other than yourself actually experience it.

Happiness

2005-11-21T20:21:00.000+08:00

As you know, I went back Klg last Friday for my dad's 54th birthday saturday night dinner. It was held at my house, we have bbq, my dad's very own Bah Kut Teh & Rice, Sweet & Sour Fish Head, and Pineapple Salad. It was delicious, in fact, it was my favourite food. My dad's cooking. Yum~ Yum~

Among the guests invited are all my dad's old friends, my grandma, and my bro's gang. It was a very fun night. My dad is happy, we are happy.

We have our karaoke and pub section that night. hahaha... I drank Vodka that night, didn't get drunk but It was great. hahaha.... we dance all night. It was so hot. Too bad, I couldn't snap any picture that night coz my T forgotten to charge the battery for the camera. =.=" Anyway, the most important thing is... we have fun.

The next day, we went shopping~! You know, when it comes to year end, everything must be prepared for New Year. The old stuff must change to new stuff. Hahaha... especially x'mas is coming soon, its time to hunt for present.

Oh ya, stepgrandfather is sick, so my T will fly over to Philippines to visit him, and you know what, we will bring them over to Malaysia. yeah~! it will be so much fun. Miss them very much. Hehehe...

And oh, hahah, I forgotten to tell, I made a 2 more stuff toys, one is for my sister, a pig, another one is for, *em *em. =p can't tell because it is a surprise for someone. hehe...

So now, came back to Melacca~ to continue my japanese language. There's a lot of things to do but I will not complaint about it anymore, nor be down by it. I want to change, for the better because I finally found the way to learned on how to make myself to reach the light again. I will continue to struggle in this life because I believe I will be bless with happiness in the end.

We should be grateful, and happy because you know what, we have more than we need in order to survive in this world. Some people are suffering because of greed, power, and delusion of others. Happiness can be find, if we look carefully within our heart and mind.

Let's us find our happiness within ourselves.

At Last

2005-11-18T01:24:00.000+08:00

Finally~ I come out with my own layout. Hahah~~!! I'm so~ happy. Eventhough its a bit simple, but overall, I'm satisfy. I like the background music, a song from Chiqi Peneda. How Will I Know... its a very nice and meaningful song from a filipino movie. I guess, they should have watched it, its a popular movie in Philippine, I can't remember what's the title. Its very touching story. I cried when I watch it. haha =p Like it very much.

I'm going back hometown tomorrow, ^.^ yeah~! Wanna spend more time with my dad especially during his birthday. ^.^ I love you o! papa, don't know whether you see this blog or not. Haha... =p

This is the latest picture we took together the bbq nite before I came back to Melacca. All member in my family except my bro went Raya at his friends place, so we only took his scooter as replacement. ahaha

Went to Jap class this week. ^_^ it was fun, with all the new faces around. Hehe... its nice to learn Japanese again. So that, next time, I can communicate with Amanda in Japanese language. Hahahaha... It must be weird. hehehe....

Sore Ja~! Got to take a rest, I use the whole day to complete this blogskin.
Arigatougozaimasu, for visiting this site again and again. For those who are first comer, Thanks. ^.^

New Layout = Failed

2005-11-13T02:02:00.000+08:00

Ok, plan to change layout, but seems like the skins that other ppl create it doesn't satisfy me, and thanks to anonymous for saying it sux. Ok, nevermine, I'll make myself one. If I got the time. Sigh~

Going back to Klang next week Thursday

One word, Bored.

Cracking my Head

2005-11-12T04:11:00.000+08:00

While I was busy cleaning yesterday afternoon, I was thinking all sort of things that cracked my head.

1st, Amanda's birthday coming, and we haven't buy any present yet? @_@"
The Problem is, She's so mysterious, hard to predict whether she like certain things, except cats. 6.6 but, I bet many people for sure will buy things related to cats or kittens. Erm... sigh, I will keep thinking on this one. She's one special friend.

2nd, My skin begin to looks like dry veggie, I need to buy my lotions.
The problem is, 1 word, transportation. =.=

3rd, There is 2 more rooms to clean up before Monday.
The problem is, I'm afraid I do not have the time to prepare for my jap class. Well, I guess I just pace things up.

4th, Electric and Streamyx bill need to pay before 19 November, but no Cash T_T
Non-cash property I got a lot, but shortage for cash.

5th, My Piano class starting next week, and I haven't practise. +.+
The main problem here is, I no longer able to use my Organ, its lost its voice. Sigh, I don't have any devices to practice.

6th, There are 2 pails of dirty laundry still waiting to get clean.
Frankly, I should I throw it in the washing machine last sunday, if its not because of the stupid fellar who disturb the main water supply. Because of that, we thought it was just normal interruption just like in normal day but, know what? we survived after 5 days of living-without-water life.

7th, My Mother's request for our photograph to be send to her house, and still not yet done.
We couldn't make it to our meeting when I was still in Klang, all because of transportation, it is so inconvenient to ask my stepmom to drive me there since they are so buzy, and I can't ignore my dad's anger over all the things happen.

8th, My dad's birthday coming soon, I have no idea what to do or give.
Last year, I gave a small rabbit jade bought from World Of Feng Shui. According to them, it for safety, health, wealth and happiness along the way. Em, now, what should I give? another WOF product? I need to do something more memorable, and give a special message that I love him and care of him very much. But.. the problem is, how? or what?

9th, The next chapter of Da Vinci Code, wondering what happen next. ~.~
This book, I tell you, the minute you start reading this book, you will never want to stop.

10th, Recalling The Exorcism of Emily Rose Story to make myself understand.
Just because it is a true story, it bother means, when She, Emily Rose was possessed by 6 Demons and one of them is the Strongest God of Demon, Lucifer. It does have a good ending there, but the whole process was very scary and thrilling. >.<

11th, How to earn more money legally?
I wonder how other university student earn thousand a month while they are struggling to get result with flying colours. I need to know

12th, Should I buy Radio or Speaker?
I need music, everyday. Without it, I feel life has no rhythm, and my life will be like a straight lame line. If Ryan doesn't use my PC that often, I don't think I should buy either of them. The problem is, he use it quite often and I can buy a radio, but only below Rm100 which I saw most is those typical radio with cassette player, I couldn't play any of my favourite song when I feel like playing it. That's why I consider a cheap pc speaker, to plug in with my mp3 player, but then, means I got 2 speaker. @_@

13th, Should I buy 61 Key Keyboard or 88 Key Keyboard?
I need to buy a Keyboard to practise my piano skills. The problem is 61 or 88? 61 is much cheaper than 88 but, I can use it till level 7. After that, I have to change to 88 key. So... erm.. thinking thinking...

14th, Should I consider of buying a camera?
I don't know whether should buy or not, either way, I won't be able to buy though-no money, just have to beg for my dad for one. Not sure whether I should do that? think should consider the economic condition.

15th, What else can I sell, beside clothing, computer parts and etc?
My garage sales will be up soon, hopefully after I finish clean up my messy house. At the meantime, I'm searching things to sales to get some cash. I'm going to broke. T_T

16th, When is my roomate is coming back?
Well, Lay Fen usually don't tell people when she will be back from hometown, this is so typical of her.

17th, Should I rent the whole room for RM240 after my roomate move out next academic year? -.-"
My roomate will moved next academic year, I should now thinking of renting the whole big room for RM240 permonth + water or share the half with stranger. @_@

18th, When and How can I get myself awarded Dean's list. ~_~"
Sigh...

19th, How to discipline myself? @_@
How?? the hard way or soft way? hard way scare I cannot tahan, the soft way scare I won't change. guess hard-soft way.

20th, Miss my tortoise~~ don't know how are they now in Ipoh... Sigh my tortoise moved to Ipoh with their daddy. I use to worry about them very much, but now I don't have to worry about them anymore but I miss them. T_T

Sigh.. all these things keep coming to me over and over again. There's too much things to do in so little time. I guess I lepak too much, but everytime I tried to remind myself, usually end up playing SIM2 again.

Speaking of SiM, I created 2 character mimic just like myself and my bf. We went to University, fall in love, graduate, staying in the same house, going to work, and get married. hahaha, It's a lot of fun, you know, when you get mad at him, you can smack him. (Revenge) hehehe... fun fun fun...

To be Continued . . .